The Glittering Court (The Glittering Court, #1)(41)

“The risk is too great.” He shook his head. “You shouldn’t be doing this.”

And as I spoke, I realized he wasn’t talking about the risk to himself. He wasn’t really concerned about being implicated in my disappearance. It was exposing me as a fraud and taking me away that he wanted to prevent.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I said. “After what you did for me. You saved me, Cedric. I was drowning back there in Osfro. Of course I should do this. I’ll do more, if that’s what it takes to keep you alive in spite of yourself.”

He’d been regarding me very intently as I spoke, as though he couldn’t quite believe my words. At that last bit, his face broke into a smile, finally easing the tension. “In spite of myself?”

“Well, you’re the one who chose to complicate your life with heresy.”

“You don’t choose it. It chooses you.”

“If you say so,” I said. I kept my tone light and dismissive, but inside, I was relieved to no longer be fighting with him. “How did it choose you anyway? Don’t take this the wrong way . . . but you don’t really seem like the type who’d think too much about godly affairs.”

He beckoned me toward the house, and I fell in step with him. “A lot of things bothered me about the world, ever since childhood. My parents are married, but they might as well not be. They’ve almost always lived apart, and we were all supposed to pretend that was normal. Emotional reactions weren’t allowed about that or, well, anything. It was all duty and keeping up appearances, just like the traditional churches teach. Then I learned how the six wayward angels aren’t evil—they just govern emotion and instinct, something the rigid priests of Uros fear. I learned it was okay to embrace that emotional side of me—to accept my true nature. That it was okay to let my passions run wild.”

The idea of Cedric and passions running wild was enough to make me momentarily lose track of his ardent explanation.

“And the rest of the Alanzan worship just made sense too,” he continued. “Spirituality without boundaries. All voices heard. Reverence for the natural world. We don’t need to attend lavish services paid for with prayer fees and massive tithes . . . while beggars and others starve outside the cathedrals. It’s not fair for one group to have so much wealth and another so little.”

“I’ve seen your wardrobe choices. You’re no ascetic. And here you are, ironically, doing business with men who are massively wealthy in the New World.”

“But there’s a difference between building wealth through honest business and building it by taking it from those who look to you for hope and spiritual guidance. Don’t you see, Adelaide, the orthodox priests are preaching good will toward all men but actually hoarding—”

“No.” I held up my hand. “Stop now. I can see where you’re going with this. I’ll keep your secrets, but do not try to convert me to your pagan ways.”

He laughed. “Wouldn’t dream of it. But it’s nice to know you draw the line somewhere.”

The house grew closer and closer, and the momentary lightness faded. “I really am sorry if I made things more complicated,” I said softly.

“This was already complicated. Just be careful . . . no one’s safe until you’ve got some wealthy Adorian’s ring on your finger.”

“It’ll be weighted with a diamond,” I told him, earning a return of the smile.

Inside, I was relieved to see that most of the other girls had gone on to their rooms or other tasks, freeing me from a deluge of questions. Or so I thought.

When I got to my room, I found Tamsin and Mira. It was clear they’d been waiting for my return. Tamsin leapt to her feet.

“What have you done?” she cried, echoing Cedric.

“I’m, uh, not sure what you mean.”

“The hell you don’t!” It was a lapse into her former dialect that would’ve scandalized Mistress Masterson. “Has this all been some kind of joke? Coast along and then swoop in at the end to crush everyone else?”

I remembered Cedric’s accusations when I first came here—that I’d treated impersonating Ada as a joke too. Was that how my actions would always be perceived by people? Would I never be taken seriously?

“How did you do that?” continued Tamsin. “How did you score perfectly on everything?”

“I learned a lot of it when I worked in my lady’s house. I was around nobility all the time, and I guess I picked up their ways. You know that.”

Tamsin wasn’t buying it. “Oh yeah? Where were those ways in the last nine months? You’ve botched things continuously—but not always the same things! You run hot and cold, perfect at some things and then failing at the most basic ones. What kind of game are you playing?”

“It’s no game,” I said. “My nerves just got the best of me. Things finally came together during the retakes.”

“Impossible,” she stated. “I don’t understand how or why you’ve been doing this, but I know something’s going on. And if you think you can just ruin my life and—”

“Oh, come on,” I interrupted, switching from defense to offense. “Your life is far from ruined.”

Fury filled her features. “That’s not true. I had it. I was in the top three, and then you came along and pulled that out from under me. You knew how it important it was to me but still went ahead and destroyed everything I’ve worked for.”