The Girl's Got Secrets (Forbidden Men #7)(79)

He stared at me a full five seconds before muttering something in Spanish and then scrubbing his hands over his face. After lowering his hands to eye me wearily, he muttered, “Damn it. You’re right, though.” When I tipped my head to the side, he reluctantly admitted, “It would’ve bothered me.”

Hanging his head, he looked so guilty and contrite; I wanted to reassure him. I even reached for his shoulder. But then I stopped myself, not wanting to send the wrong signal.

So I blew out a breath. “I suspected as much.”

“But the thing is,” he went on, finally looking up. “No matter how I may want you and how freaking sweet and considerate your worrying about my feelings is, you’re my friend too, Asher, and I want you to be happy. So don’t go turning into some miserable monk on my account. I assure you, I’ll live.”

I nodded, watching him closely. When I was confident he really was okay with it, I said, “All right then. From here on out, I’ll just...I’ll be discreet about it.”

He winced. “Actually...I’d rather know.”

“Huh?”

With a rueful shrug, he explained, “If you hid it, I’d drive myself insane, always wondering. Every time you’d smile or seem unusually happy, I’d think it was because you got laid. I’d always be stressing myself out, my mind coming up with the worst possible scenarios. But if I knew...well, then I’d know. And then I could deal with getting over it.”

I nodded. “Okay. Strangely, that makes sense. I won’t hide it from you, then.”

With a grave return nod, he answered, “Thank you.”

“So...how’re we going to work this then?” I rubbed my hands on my hips. “I really don’t want to cause you any undue distress.”

Chuckling, he shook his head. “I have no idea. Maybe, like, don’t stick your tongue down a girl’s throat in front of me. That’d be great. Though I can’t picture you as the PDA type, anyway.”

I shrugged. “I never have been before.”

Sticks nodded. “Then it’ll be fine. I mean, I get to vet them, right, throw out the rotten ones I don’t approve of?”

I threw back my head and laughed. “How about you just set me up with someone who passes your muster, and if I like her, we’ll go from there.”

“Nope. Sorry.” He winced. “That would be an impossible task. Frankly, I doubt I’d find a woman good enough for you.”

Shaking my head, I sighed. I wasn’t sure about anyone not being good enough for me, I hadn’t even been able to find someone actually willing to be with me...for longer than a night. But I wasn’t going to think about that. Glancing at my bud, I had to admit, “You know this is the strangest conversation I’ve ever had with a guy, right?”

“You’re telling me.” He rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe I admitted aloud I had a thing for you.”

I shrugged, not sure how to answer. I’d had dudes hit on me before and it had wiped me clear out of my comfort zone. But for some reason, knowing what Remy thought about me was okay. Maybe because he didn’t come on strong or actually expect me to reciprocate. He was chill and laid-back about it, almost making light of his feelings so we’d ended up laughing instead of turning uneasy about it all.

So I said, “Honestly, man. I’m flattered.”

He swiped a hand my way as if to hit me in the arm. “Shut up. It’s embarrassing.”

Chuckling, I said, “It’s not that bad.”

“Whatever. Now you’re going to have to tell me something embarrassing about you.”

“The hell if I do.” When he scowled, I gave in. “Fine. It says Ashley on my birth certificate.”

At first, the words didn’t seem to sink in. Then he frowned and tipped his head to the side. “No way.”

“Oh...yes way. My mother was so determined I was going to be a girl, she named me Ashley Jean. Had it on my birth certificate and legalized it before my dad found out. He was so pissed off. He refused to call me that, so I eventually morphed into Asher. And when my uncle got me under his custody, he helped me get it legally changed.”

Remy’s mouth fell open. “Holy shit. She really named you Ashley...and not after Ashley Wilkes from Gone with the Wind, but Ashley because she wanted you to be a girl?”

“Yep. And I suspect, she would’ve raised me as if I were a girl in frilly pink dresses if my father had let her.”

“?Dios mío! That’s just...”

When he shook his head as if dazed, I sighed and said, “Fucked up. Yeah, I know. But go ahead. Laugh it up, *.”

He chuckled but waved his hands as he did so. “No. Actually, it’s kind of sad.” He blew out a breath. “And here, I grew up miffed because I had such a guy name.”

I sent him a strange frown. “Huh?”

He started to open his mouth when a strange expression hit. After a second, he stuttered, “I just...you know, because of the gay thing, I kind of always preferred the more universal names that could go either way, like Alex or—”

“Remy could go either way,” I argued. “Actually, Remy for a girl would be pretty kick-ass.”

“You think?” he asked, his voice wistful.

When I frowned at him, he quickly cleared his throat. “So, about this chick we’re going to find for you tonight.” Rubbing his hands together, he scanned the crowd for possible targets, but I held up my palm.