The Game (That Girl, #2)(35)

Words don’t come, not even a simple yes or no. I want so badly to believe in his promise and assure him I’ll never cut again, but I know it’s the furthest thing from reality. I don’t want to cut and hope to never again. I just need something or someone to fill the void.

Levi’s voice drops in volume while his dark brown eyes laser in on me. “I want to be able to pleasure you in every single way possible.”

“You are,” I reply.

Sliding my hands up his arms, I help him sit. With my knees on the dock still straddling Levi, we are now face to face. I smile on his lips and feel him smile back.

“We can have it all, Levi. If we can fight to be us in this world.”

He buries his head down in my breasts, and I begin to move again. This time it’s harder to go slowly. Everything between us is so built up beyond belief with fear, expectations, and the unknown. It needs to be released. Levi bites down on my nipple, causing me to scream and f*ck him faster.

“Am I hurting you?” I ask.

“No, f*ck, Jazzy.”

I know he’s lying, but the pleasure covering his face is a compliment to me. Levi leans back, placing his arms out on the deck, tilting his head back, allowing his face to bask in the sun. My heart is sad for a moment, knowing his champion hands aren’t on me and lighting me with passion, but it’s when I notice his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down that I know he’s holding back.

“Come with me,” I demand. “Levi, let go. Let go with me. Be mine.”

I don’t want to hear his next words, but I do.

“I can’t, Jazzy.”

I don’t slow my rhythm or ask questions.

“I want you, Levi.”

“I can’t, Jazzy, I have to be Number Eleven.”

“Be mine.”

“Stop, slow down, I’m going to f*cking go, Jazz.”

Levi flies back up into a sitting position and grabs a handful of hair, tugging my head to the side. I feel his teeth sink into the flesh at the base of my neck. The pinching sensation causes me to fall over the edge with him. I feel him spill into me.

“I’d love you, Levi. I don’t care which Levi it is, as long as you’re happy.”

“I know you would,” he replies.

Levi lies back on the dock, dragging me with him, and I try with everything inside of me to let him go. This time I bury my face in his neck and relish the feeling of lying on top of him. I feel his hard muscle and how my fleshier skin fits perfectly against him. I really let go in more than one way while having sex with him. I laid it all out for him, and now the proverbial ball is in his court. I’m not going to beg and plead, but I do want him to know I’d love him.

“Did we just do that?” I whisper against his neck.

Levi’s deep chuckle reassures me that I made the best decision to stay and give him a chance.

“I didn’t do anything. You tackled me and took it to me.”

“You’re too much, Number Eleven.”

“Jazzy, I’m leaving for a week or two.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” It comes out as more of a breath from Levi’s lips.

“Okay,” I answer. “Can I attack you again, Levi Wilks?”

“Consider yourself a VIP member of the Wilks Express.”

“Gross,” I squeal and laugh.

Deep down, there are three other words I want to say, but with his last words I know exactly where he thinks I belong. Just another passenger on his express train of orgies. Yes, it was good. He was the best I’ve ever had. And it was all because of those hands. I tingle down low just thinking of them in me the other morning, and then on my hips today.

Maybe I need to come to terms with the fact Levi Wilks is my own personal wrecking ball, set out to destroy every single piece of me. As long as the ride is good, why complain? There’s one thing for sure, he is definitely worth the ride, and I can only hope he sees he’s worth the chance of loving. I’m not asking for forever, only for a chance.

I break the silence. “Express train or not, that was Super Bowl ring worthy.”

We might seem like puzzles to other people, but I can read Levi quite well and know he was only poisoning all of his thoughts with negativity. I roll off him, but stay cuddled to his side.

“Is this deck killing you?”

“Well, I’ve been in more comfortable positions.”

“Here, I’ll get up.”

“No.” I feel Levi grip my hips. “No, let’s stay here for a little while.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not one of the nice boys like Lincoln. I f*ck up. A lot.”

“I was never attracted to the good boys anyway. Drove my dad f*cking nuts.”

“You’re not going to take any excuses for my bullshit, are you?”

I’m not sure how to answer his question, so I don’t. Instead, I feel his lips as he places gentle kisses on my forehead. His cellphone breaks the silence.

“Want me to get it for you?”

“No, it’s just my dad.”

I watch as his iPhone vibrates and lights up by the cooler. Last time we were here his dad called too. It can be a coincidence.

“Do you ever answer his calls?”

“Not if I can help it.”