The Fire Between High & Lo (Elements #2)(48)

No luck there.

“I just don’t understand the rush. You should hold off until next year like we had planned,” her mom offered. “We should stick to the plan.”

“Plans change, Mom. It’s fine.”

“Tell me why. Why now? This is such a radical change. Don’t you think you should be more focused on the fact that Kellan is unemployed? How are you even going to make ends meet for this house? Huh? Have you thought about any of this? The property taxes on a home this size in this neighborhood have to be high. I told you both not to buy a place this big, but you wouldn’t listen. What’s the plan?” Her mom kept asking her again and again. I felt bad for Erika. Her face was red and her nerves were rocked.

“I love him! I love him, Mom. What does it matter if we get married today or years from now? I want to be with him.”

“It’s not logical. You’re sounding very much like your sister, Erika.”

Alyssa blew a small breath from her lips. “I’m right here, Mom.”

“Well, it’s true. You were always the wild flame that I couldn’t extinguish. You were all over the place, you still are, Alyssa. But Erika, you’re the tame one. You’re the one with a good head on your shoulders. But now you’re acting as if you have no sense.”

I watched Alyssa’s eyes water over, but she bit her tongue. I went to snap at Lauren for talking about her in such a way, but I paused when I saw Alyssa slightly shake her head at me not to.

What did I care anyway? It wasn’t my job to fight her battles.

Erika opened her mouth to speak, but Kellan’s words came out first, silencing the room. “I have cancer.”

Wait.

What?

No.

My heart dropped into my stomach, and I felt acid climbing up my throat as he kept talking. “We’ve been dealing with this news for a while, unsure how to handle telling you all. I already had surgery to remove a tumor, and I’ll be starting my first chemo treatment soon, but—”

“I’m sorry. Slow down. Back up. What?” I interrupted him. My blood was boiling, and I felt myself on the verge of a breakdown. My fingers dug into the side of my chair, as my body started to shake. What the hell was he talking about? Kellan didn’t have cancer. Kellan was healthy. He was always healthy. He was the only one in our family who wasn’t a mess. He couldn’t be sick. “Are you f*cking kidding me?”

No.

No.

Alyssa’s eyes saddened by the news, and she almost reached out to take my hand, but I shook my head. He went to speak, but I stood up, uninterested in him explaining. I didn’t want him to say any-f*cking-thing else, because his words were currently toxic and they were poisoning my soul. I needed air. Lots of air. I headed for the patio door, and stepped outside. The cool air rushed at my steaming face, and I let out a pained breath. My hands gripped the railing as I stared out into the darkened sky, taking deep breaths, trying my best to not fall apart.

I shut my eyes and snapped the band on my wrist once.

It’s not real…

I couldn’t open my eyes.

He was fine. He was healthy.

I snapped the band on my wrist twice.

It’s not real. It’s not real…

The sliding door opened to the balcony, and I listened to the footsteps grow closer. Kellan leaned against the railing beside me.

“You set me up,” I said.

“I didn’t want to tell you like that. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“What kind?”

“Colon.”

Shit.

“I—” My voice started but then it trailed off. I felt like I should say something, yet I didn’t know what the right words were. Were there any right words in a situation like this one?

My fingers gripped the railing tighter. “We have to go see TJ. I won’t believe it until he tells me straight to my face.” TJ was the doctor that both Kellan and I always went to as kids. He was a good friend of Kellan’s father, so even though I hadn’t had any money or healthcare to go to a doctor’s office, TJ always checked me out for free. He was a weird guy, but a good man, and the only doctor I’d trust to tell me the truth about my brother’s diagnosis.

“Logan.” Kellan’s voice softened. “I’ve already spoken with TJ. Besides, he’s not an oncologist.”

“I trust him,” I said through clenched teeth. “I trust him, Kellan. And only him.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay. We’ll go see TJ tomorrow if it will make you feel better.”

“It will.” I cleared my throat. “Until then, tell me everything you know. What stage are you in? It’s curable, right? How do we get rid of it? What can I do? How do I help? How do we fix this?” How do I fix you?

“It’s stage three.” No. That’s not good. “But for now, we wait. Like I said, I had the surgery to remove the tumor and two lymph nodes. We start chemotherapy in a week and we have to give it time to see if it works. The chemo will help stop any potential cells that may have spread elsewhere in my system.”

“What happens if they spread elsewhere?”

He went quiet.

No.

No.

No.

I bit my tongue. “You should’ve told me.”