The Fire Between High & Lo (Elements #2)(10)

“I gotta get going though. You sure you don’t want a ride anywhere?” Kellan asked.

I wanted out of the apartment, that was for sure. But I wasn’t certain if my dad would be stopping by, and I didn’t want him alone with Ma. Whenever he was alone with her, her skin was always more purple than when I left her.

It took a certain kind of demon to ever lay his hands on a woman.

“No. I’m good. I work at the gas station later today anyway.”

“Isn’t that like an hour walk away from here?”

“No. Forty-five minutes. It’s fine.”

“You want bus fare?”

“I can walk.”

He dug into his wallet and put money on the table. “Listen,” he leaned in closer to me and whispered. “If you ever want to stay at my dad’s place, it’s closer to your job…”

“Your dad hates me,” I interrupted.

“He doesn’t.”

I gave him an are-you-f*cking-kidding look.

“Okay. You might not be his favorite person, but to be fair, you did steal three hundred dollars from his wallet.”

“I had to make rent.”

“Yeah, but Logan, your first thought shouldn’t have been to steal it.”

“Then what should it have been?” I asked, growing upset, mostly because I knew he was right.

“I don’t know. Maybe asking for help?”

“I don’t need anyone’s help. Never have, never will.” That pride I had was always so harsh. I understood why some called it the deadliest sin.

Kellan frowned, knowing I was in need of an escape. Being in that apartment so long had a way of driving one crazy. “All right then.” He walked around to Ma and placed his lips against her forehead. “Love you, Ma.”

She kind of smiled. “Bye, Kellan.”

He moved behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, and softly spoke. “She’s even thinner than the last time I saw her.”

“Yeah.”

“That scares me.”

“Yeah, me too.” I saw the worry weighing heavy on his mind. “Don’t worry, though. I’ll get her to eat something.”

His concern didn’t vanish. “You look kind of smaller, too.”

“That’s just because of my high metabolism,” I joked. He didn’t laugh. I patted him on the back. “Seriously, Kel. I’m okay. And I’ll try to get her to eat. I promise to try, okay?”

He released a weighted sigh. “Okay. I’ll see you later. If you’re not back from work when I stop by tonight, I’ll see you next week.” Kellan waved goodbye and before he stepped outside of the apartment, I called his name.

“Yeah?” he asked. I shrugged my left shoulder. He shrugged his right.

That was how we always said, “I love you” to one another. He meant so much to me. The person I someday dreamed of becoming. Yet still, we were men. And men didn’t say, “I love you.” Truth was, I didn’t say those words to anyone.

Clearing my throat, I nodded once. “Thanks again. For...” I shrugged my left shoulder. “Everything.”

He gave me a soft smile, and shrugged his right. “Always.” With that, he left.

My stare fell to Ma, who was talking to her bowl of milk. Figures.

“Kellan’s the perfect son,” she muttered to the milk, before tilting her head my way. “He’s so much better than you.”

Where’s Sober Ma?

“Yeah,” I said, standing up to take my food into my bedroom. “Okay, Ma.”

“It’s true. He’s handsome, and smart, and takes care of me. You don’t do shit.”

“You’re right. I don’t do shit for you,” I mumbled, walking away, not wanting to deal with her crazed mind that morning.

As I walked, I became startled when a flying bowl glanced off my left ear, and shattered against the wall in front of me. Milk and shattered glass splashed all over me. My head tilted back toward Ma, and she had a sly smile on her lips.

“I need those windows cleaned today, Logan. Right now. I have a date coming to pick me up tonight and this place is disgusting!” she shouted. “And clean up that mess.”

My blood began to boil, because she was such a mess. How’d someone get so far gone in life? Once they were so far gone, was there any chance of them ever coming back? I miss you so much, Ma… “I’m not cleaning that up.”

“Yes you are.”

“Who are you going out on a date with, Ma?”

She sat up straight, as if she was some kind of royalty. “None of your business.”

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure the last person you went out on a date with was some scumbag who picked you up on a corner. The time before that it was my deadbeat father, and you came back with two broken ribs.”

“Don’t you dare talk about him like that. He’s good to us. Who do you think pays most of our rent? Because it definitely isn’t you.”

A just-graduated-high-school, almost eighteen-year-old who couldn’t make rent—I was such a loser.

“I pay half, which is more than you can say, and he’s nothing but a piece of shit.”

She slammed her hands on the table, irritated by my words. Her body had a slight tremble to it, and she was becoming more fidgety. “He’s more of a man than you could ever be!”