The Fine Print (Dreamland Billionaires #1)(93)

His throat bobs and his eyes slide toward the window. “I—you—” He stumbles over his words.

Oh God. He’s hesitating? He never hesitates.

“I need you to tell me what’s bothering you. Now.” I’m putting my foot down. I’ve had enough of the cryptic answers and half-truths. Whatever Rowan has to say, I’m a big girl. I can handle him and way worse.

“We can talk about this once you’re hom—”

“Cut the bullshit, Rowan. What’s your problem?”

His eyebrows rise at my tone. “You want to know what’s my problem?”

I nod.

“You. This whole damn situation.” He throws his arms out in my general direction.

My muscles lock up. “What do you mean?”

“We were supposed to be something casual. Something fun. This isn’t even close to what I want or need in my life. I have a company to run, a park to oversee, and a lot of shit to work through. People are depending on me, and I’m stuck making sure you’re okay because I feel responsible.”

I wince.

He continues on like he’s not taking a sledgehammer to my heart. “I never asked to play your dutiful boyfriend. That’s not the man I am.”

My lungs protest from my sharp inhale. “You…you can’t mean that.”

We have a connection, no matter how hard he tries to deny it. Sure, while we might not have an official label, we have something special.

He clears his throat. “Us hooking up and going on a couple of dates was supposed to be a way for me to pass some time at Dreamland.”

“Pass some time.” How dare he minimize what we have like that.

He shuts his eyes. “I’ve lost track of what’s important.”

And you’re not it. He doesn’t need to say it, but it’s written all over his face. Tiny fissures in my heart spread, cracking with each hurtful word he yields like an invisible knife.

“I never take off time for work—not even on Christmas. But I felt obligated because you got hurt in my house. I’ve even postponed important meetings and blown off a shit ton of paperwork because…”

“Because what?” Say you care. Say you want me anyway. Say you might be scared, but some things in life are worth the risk.

Say anything but nothing.

He stands, staring at me with an expression similar to the ones he has during boring presentations. I’ve never felt so insignificant—not even when Lance left me. I truly thought Rowan and I had something special. The forever kind of connection I have been hoping for all my life.

I was so wrong.

I let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t know what’s more pathetic—the fact that you deny how much you care about me or the way I’m actually surprised by all of this.”

Nothing but beeping machines fill the silence between us, matching the rapid beat of my heart.

I shake my head. “The problem isn’t work. And it’s definitely not us changing from casual to more, which is your own damn fault when you kept doing things that showed you cared. You made me believe in some fantasy. You made me want more.”

His blank stare sends another chill down my spine. “I always meant to keep things casual. That’s what we agreed on.”

“Well, you did a really shitty job at that. You didn’t have to play the role of a dutiful boyfriend because you were already acting like one!”

He takes a step back at my outburst.

Breathing hurts, but I don’t care. “Every decision you’ve made up until this point has all been because you care. Because deep down, I think you love me even though you’re too damn scared to admit it.” My voice cracks and I let out a wheeze because my lungs struggle to cooperate.

“Love was never an option. If I made you believe otherwise, I apologize. I would never subject you to that kind of misbelief when I’m moving back to Chicago soon.”

He might as well have slapped me.

“What?”

He stares out the stupid window again. “A new Director will be taking over Dreamland at the end of January.”

If I wasn’t attached to an oxygen machine, I’m not sure I would be able to breathe on my own. “Did you—” I rasp. “Did you know this the entire time we were together?”

No. He couldn’t have. I’m sure he would have said something about it. What about his anniversary renovation plan? I don’t understand why he would spend months of his time on a project of that scale for nothing.

“Yes.”

“Did you consider staying longer…” for us?

Rowan breaks my heart all over again when he shakes his head. “I was always meant to go back.”

You’re a fool, Zahra. He’s been hiding this all from you since day one. I sniffle, trying to hold back the tears threatening to burst.

“That’s not what I asked, and you know it. Stop playing your mind games and tell me the truth.”

His jaw ticks. “My personal feelings on the matter are irrelevant.”

I stare down at my trembling hands. “Why are you moving back?” Why are you giving up on us because you’re scared?

“My future is in Chicago.”

My heart feels like Rowan clutched onto it with his cold fist and ripped it out of my chest. “So you say.” My voice cracks.