The Fill-In Boyfriend(51)

“Dinner, G,” Drew said. This time I was on my laptop. I had been doing homework but he didn’t show that part. “How many likes now?”

“Forty likes, five retweets.”

“So that must mean it’s good.”

“Yep.” I shut my laptop and stood, smiling at him and the camera. “Your face is likable, I guess. Who knew?”

“Good thing your friends told us that or we’d have never known.” I knew he was being sarcastic that day and I was sarcastic right back when I said, “So true.” But it only proved the point his film was trying to make. That’s when the screen went black. That’s when Drew stood up and walked to the podium. He had a confident smile on his face.

“Thank you for this great honor,” he said, holding the small plaque that his teacher had handed to him. “And I hope my friends are tweeting this, otherwise it didn’t really happen, right?” He pointed to a couple of guys in the front row and the audience laughed. “I too wish more of this film could’ve been shown tonight because toward the end I show the darker side to this addiction of the need for validation. And a lot of the times the people we crave this validation from are complete strangers. It doesn’t matter who is telling us they like something. It’s just the amount of people telling us that. So if I get a hundred likes for this later on Instagram, then I’ll know it’s special.” He held up the plaque. “If I get two, it must be worthless. What is this addiction creating? And is it too late to undo the damage?”

I had sunk lower in my chair, not a fan of being the poster child for his mocking take on society. I could feel both Hayden and Bec staring at me, but I was now focused on the red velvet of the seat in front me.

Drew’s professor came back on the stage. “Thank you, Drew. And good news—if you want to see this or any of the pieces from tonight in their entirety, please visit this website.” The address for a site appeared on the big screen. I didn’t want to see Drew’s piece in its entirety but I memorized the address anyway.

When the lights in the theater turned on, I jumped.

Hayden put his hand on my shoulder. “What do you want to do? Do you want to talk to him?”

“I want to punch him,” Bec said.

“Bec, this isn’t about you,” Hayden said.

Nate raised his hand. “I want to punch him too.”

“He edited it a lot.”

“You don’t have to explain it, Gia.”

This was why Drew didn’t want us here and I should’ve listened.

“I’m fine.” I stood up and looked down at Drew, who was surrounded by friends and his professor.

A college-aged girl behind me said, “Hey, that was you in that film. And you had your phone out all through the ceremony. So ironic.”

I flinched and Bec snapped her teeth at the girl.

I forced a smile. “I just want to go home,” I said to Hayden. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow when he’s less busy.”

“Can I talk to him now when he’s surrounded by people’s opinions that he values?”

Bec gave her brother a shove. “Yes. Do.”

“No. I just want to go home,” I said again.

After we’d made it through the crowded theater and out onto the campus, I took a deep breath. Hayden, Bec, and Nate were all eerily quiet. I just wanted them to talk and act like everything was normal. If we pretended for now it hadn’t happened, this would be a whole lot easier.

When we got to the car, I settled into my seat. My first thought was to pull out my phone and distract myself from the reality of what had just happened, but I couldn’t do that right now, not with the image of me doing that very thing still playing over and over in my mind.

Hayden started the car and drove out of the parking lot. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think he was singling you out. He was just using you as an example to illustrate his point. He was saying it’s a generational problem, not specifically your problem.”

I nodded.

Bec punched his arm. “That’s not a consolation. That was her brother. He shouldn’t have done that. Period.”

“I know,” Hayden agreed.

“That’s not the problem anyway,” I said in a voice I wasn’t sure they could hear.

“What is?”

“The problem is that it’s true. I am that person.” I did care what other people thought about me. I did delete pictures or tweets that didn’t get enough likes. I did measure my worth in those terms. I was possibly the most shallow person on earth and I was just now discovering it.