The Fearless King (The Kings #2)(74)
“Is there an ‘us,’ Frank?” She grasped his wrists, stopping him from stroking her sides. “Because I think we’re both fucked up enough to realize that love isn’t the stuff of fairy tales. It doesn’t earn you a happily ever after.” Journey huffed out a sad little laugh. “If it even is love. We’re probably getting infatuation mixed up with real feelings, and isn’t that sad?”
“Duchess, look at me.” He waited for her obedience before continuing. “Neither one of us came into this thing blushing virgins. Do you have a habit of getting starry eyed for every single man you’ve ever fucked?”
“Don’t be absurd.” She glared, but the effect of it bounced off his serious expression, so she gave up. “I see what you’re saying, but the question still stands—is there really an us?”
He lifted one hand, hers still attached to his wrist, and sifted his fingers through her hair. Journey pushed off his chest and half turned away from him. “You don’t do broken things, remember? I’m not going to just be magically fixed because I’ve fallen for you. You’re going to keep trying to protect me, and I’m going to keep trying to fight to be a full partner. We’ll be in a perpetual standoff.”
“Broken things scare the shit out of me because there’s no easy fix.” His voice roughened and seemed to reach across the distance to slide down her spine. “Even if I could keep you safe from the enemies circling, I can’t keep you safe from me fucking up.”
Her throat burned and she blinked rapidly, still not looking at him. “Then I guess that’s that.”
“Is that how you want it to be?” He sounded closer, but he didn’t touch her again.
“No! How the hell could you say that?” She spun, nearly slamming into him, and skittered back a step. “I want you, you arrogant, stubborn asshole. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be someone who isn’t carrying around a lifetime of baggage, but I…” Realization dawned, sowing strength into her muscles and straightening her spine even as her words evened out. “I want this. I want you—us.”
“That’s all that matters, Duchess. We just have to jump together. We’ll figure out the rest on our way down.” He said it so calmly, as if he had no doubts that they’d figure out how to fly together, instead of crashing themselves to pieces on the rocks below. Frank held out his hand. “Will you jump with me?”
She wanted to take that hand so badly, she shook in an entirely different way. “If we do this, it will never be equal. I’ll always be the broken one, and you’ll always be the protector trying to step between me and the rest of the world. I’ll resent you. You’ll smother me.”
He laughed, the ass. “If you really think that, you haven’t been paying attention. I’m not keeping score, but I’d say we’re pretty damn equal.” He sobered. “You were right before. I should have got a hold of you first instead of doing even the smallest deal with the Russian. I made the wrong call.”
This thing didn’t look like she’d always imagined her perfect relationship. They fought. A lot. He was pushy and just as arrogant and stubborn as she’d accused him of being. Frank would never, ever just roll over because she demanded it. And sometimes he might refuse to do so just to prove he could.
But…
This was also the man who had listened to her pour her darkest poison out without looking away. He’d listened to her boundaries—her triggers—and done his best to work around them so she always felt safe. Not comfortable. Not by a long shot. But Frank would never harm her on purpose.
She pressed her lips together. “There’s a decent chance that my father is going to find a way to shove me in front of a moving SUV or maybe ensure I suffer some unfortunately lethal accident.” She’d fight to survive. The little girl who had closed her eyes and waited for the pain to end didn’t exist anymore. She had people she cared about—people she loved—and Elliott had already proven that he would hurt them if given half a chance.
If Journey couldn’t dredge up the strength to fight him on her own behalf, she’d do it on theirs.
“We’ll take him down, Duchess—just like we’ll take down any enemy that comes at us in the future. Together.”
She took a half step toward him. “How can you be so sure about all this?”
“Because I know you.” He tapped the spot over her heart with a single finger. “This shit with your old man knocked you for a loop, but every other obstacle you’ve come across in your life, you’ve faced down without blinking. You protect the things you love with a ferocity that I am intimately acquainted with.” He took her hand and mirrored the motion, touching his chest. “Because it’s the same thing I have coiled and snapping inside me. Like recognizes like. Even if it took me a little too long to figure it out.”
She could keep arguing, but he had an answer to every issue she threw at him and…truth be told, Journey didn’t want to prove him wrong. She wanted to be the ferocious woman he saw in her. The one who would go to battle at his side as a full partner, who he’d trust to watch his back against any threat that arose. “Okay.”
Frank smiled, a full, happy smile that lit up his eyes. He pulled her against him and took her mouth, growling when she immediately opened for him. Journey went for the buttons of his shirt, but he stopped her. “Slow tonight, Duchess. Let me make love to you.”