The Enforcer (Untamed Hearts Book 3)(147)
“She does it too?” Tino raised his eyebrows. “Just walks in and starts talking?”
“Usually walks in and starts talking while she’s peeing.” Brianna threw up her hands in defeat. “It’s a big apartment. She has her own bathroom. Why does she have to pee in mine? But what the hell can I say? She’s paying the bills.”
“She’s not paying the bills. Her nonno’s paying ’em. Tell her to stop. What if you were getting yourself off? That’s what I say to Nova. I could be legitimately jerking off. He doesn’t know I’m not.”
“I don’t get myself off in the shower.” Brianna turned to him in confusion. “A bath, maybe, but a shower. No. That sounds very uncomfortable.”
“What about the shower nozzle? You’ve got a detachable one.”
“What?”
He frowned. “You’ve never done that?”
“I’m horrified to ask,” she admitted with a wince.
“I just told you that Mary used to make me eat dog food, and you’re horrified by the shower nozzle. Unbelievable, Brianna. They’ve brainwashed you too. I hope you know that. I wanna say that to you, and I want you to hear it. They did it on purpose. They found a little girl whose parents didn’t give a shit, and they trained you to be Carina’s best friend. They fed you dog food too. It was just in a nicer package.”
“I love Carina.” Brianna said it without flinching, even if a part of her couldn’t deny what he said. “I’d eat dog food for her.”
“You do eat dog food for her,” Tino said bitterly. “Every day.”
“I’d do it for you too,” she promised him, meaning it.
He obviously believed her, because he said, “I know. You’re doing it right now. You should get out of this car and run away from me, Bri.”
She heard the catch in his voice, and it made a shiver of desire run down her spine. “Why?”
“’Cause I wanna show you how to get off with a shower nozzle.” Tino’s gaze ran over her hotly, stopping to rest on the V between her legs long enough that she spread her thighs on instinct and shifted in her seat. “I wanna show you how to get off with my mouth too. Madonn’, I wanna feel you come against my lips.”
She bit her lip to hide the moan. Something about the way he said it made her almost feel it, and Tino must’ve known, because he leaned into her in response.
“I wanna taste you so f*cking bad. Just once, but I know I’m f*cking broken. I know it rubs off. It’ll ruin you too.” His breath was warm against her neck. He licked the curve of it as he threaded his hand into her hair and tugged her head to the side. “I used to pretend it was you,” he whispered in her ear like it was another confession he practiced on the ride here. “It was something Lola and I came up with our first time so I didn’t f*cking freak out in front of all those people. She’d make me talk about you to keep me focused. She taught me how to look at her like I’d f*cking die to have her, and I just started using it all the time. It worked with the others too. They believed I was aching to touch them, because in my mind I was looking at you. Then one day I did it with Mary, trying to make her like me so she’d stop being so f*cking mean. I touched that cunt thinking about you. I f*cked her pretending it was you. You should hate me for that.”
“You’re not going to make me hate you today, Tino.” She stroked his hair, pushing it back from his forehead so that he was looking at her with dark, glassy eyes. “Whatever you did to survive, it’s okay. How can I judge you for that? How can anyone judge you?”
“Even when she hurt me.” Tino didn’t look away from her when he said it, clearly challenging her. “Even when she humiliated me. I saw you, Bri. It was easier for me that way. It was easier if I was doing it for you. I have actually eaten dog food for you.”
There was no romantic rule book for this.
It was never discussed by giggling schoolgirls in the school yard.
Brianna didn’t know if she was screwing up by letting the tears roll down her cheeks. She didn’t know if it was hurting him more or doing some sort of permanent damage by letting out a sob and promising, “It’s okay, baby.”
“I used you. I used this”—he gestured wildly between them—“for that. I took what was yours, and I gave it to her. I used it to make her happy. Do you understand how horrible that is? You should be totally sickened by that.”
“I’m sickened by her, but not you. If it helped you, then that’s all that matters to me.” She rubbed her thumbs over his cheeks and wiped his tears away. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and you can’t do anything to sicken me. You’re not going to be able to tell me something that’ll make me forget I love you. I’m sorry. It’s just not going to happen. I’m in this car with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Tino stared at her for a long time, dark eyes still glimmering, tears still staining his cheeks like he didn’t know what to do with that. Then he nodded in silent acceptance, seeming more lost than ever, like he’d failed at a last-ditch effort to stop whatever was between them.
“I guess we’ll just keep it a secret. Carlo and Lola have been doing it for two friggin’ years. If they can pull it off, we can too.” Tino finally sighed in defeat and then closed his eyes, as if knowing this was inevitable, and it affected him too. “I can give you what you need, Bri. It’s the least I can f*cking do.” He looked back to her, and Brianna understood now why Tino was able to sell it to all those mob wives. He stared at her like he would actually die to have her, making her believe it as he reached out and traced his thumb over her lips in a soft, sensual way that forced a shudder to wash over her. “Really give it to you. All of it. Any way you want it, and if you don’t know how you like it, I’ll help you figure it out. No one needs to know you let me touch you.”