The Edge of Always(81)

Andrew





37


The whole family, mine and Camryn’s both, are out in the waiting room—minus Camryn’s dad and brother. They still don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. Camryn and I didn’t know through her whole pregnancy. We decided to let her surprise us. And she did.

Before I let the family in to see them, I sit with Camryn in the private room we were moved to shortly after the delivery. We’ve been in here for a short while, waiting on the nurses to bring her back after doing whatever it is they do. I take her into my arms after the nurse checks Camryn’s hospital bracelet and matches it up with the one “Baby Parrish” is wearing around her tiny ankle. I check it myself too before letting the nurse leave. And I look her over real good. One can never be too careful these days, and I’m gonna make damn sure they bring the same baby back they left with. But there’s no mistaking that thick blonde hair and that small yet blood-curdling scream that makes me completely submissive to her. If she could talk, I’d do anything she said without thinking twice about it. Give me a bottle! Yes ma’am! Change my diaper! You got it! Step on that nurse’s foot for wrapping me up like a frickin’ burrito! All right, babygirl!

Camryn holds her close to her chest, letting her suckle on her breast.

When Camryn first found out that she was pregnant again was the day before we moved into our new house. But she didn’t tell me about it until after my doctor’s appointment that following Monday. She said she was afraid to, I guess in the same way I was afraid to tell her right away that I was having headaches again. But after that, we talked a lot about how we were going to do things differently this time. One of those things was her decision to breast-feed. With the first pregnancy, Camryn wasn’t too thrilled about a baby sucking on her tit, especially when she might need to feed her in public. Back then, I was just agreeing with her wishes and never tried to change her mind. I had no reason to, really.

But this time, when Camryn brought the issue up again, she said, “Y’know what, baby? I’ve been reading a lot more about pregnancy and the benefits of breast-feeding, and I really don’t care what people think. I feel like I want to and I should.”

And I said, “Then I think you should, too.”

I sit down next to her. I was glad she made that decision on her own, without me adding my input. Hey, as long as I don’t start that man-lactating stuff and she expects me to try it, I’m good with whatever decision she makes.

“I read that most babies are born with blue eyes,” Camryn says, looking down at her, “but I think later she’ll have your green eyes.”

I brush our daughter’s head lightly with my fingertips. “Maybe so.” I can’t stop looking at the two of them, my beautiful wife and my precious little girl. I feel like I’ve stepped into another world, one brighter than I ever imagined. I really didn’t think I could be any happier the way I have been with Camryn. I didn’t think that was possible.

I think Camryn is still somewhat in shock.

“What’s on your mind?” I ask, never losing my warm smile.

Her tired eyes soften as she looks up at me. “You were right,” she says.

The baby makes a little sucking noise, so faint I barely hear it, but I find myself attentive to every noise and move she makes.

Camryn goes on, “You said that I wouldn’t miscarry this time. You said that your tumor wasn’t going to come back. You said that everything would work out. And it did.” She glances at the baby for a moment, brushing her eyebrow with her finger, and then looks back up at me. “Thank you for being right.”

I stand up from the chair, take one side of her face and chin into my hand, and I raise her head so I can kiss her lips.

There’s a soft knock at the door and it opens slowly. My mom’s head peeks around the corner.

“Come on in,” I say, gesturing her inside.

The oversized door opens the rest of the way, and so many people walk into the room one after the other that I stop counting after Aidan and Michelle, who is five months pregnant.

There’s a lot of hugging going around, everybody wrapping their arms around my back but trying to get a glimpse of the baby at the same time.

“Congratulations, bro,” Aidan says, patting my back. “I had a feeling you’d have one before me.” He reaches over and rubs Michelle’s rounded belly. She playfully brushes his hand away and says something about how he better not stick his finger in her belly button again. Then she hugs me and makes her way to Camryn’s bedside.

“We’re having a boy,” Aidan says.

“Really?” I ask. “Awesome.”

The announcement gets Camryn’s attention too, but Michelle speaks up first.

“He doesn’t know that for sure,” she says. “He just thinks he knows.”

Camryn laughs lightly and says, “Take it from me, if a Parrish brother says he’s having a boy or a girl, he’s probably right.”

“All right, well we’ll see,” Michelle says, still not convinced.

I look at my brother, and I’ve seen his confident look before. Yeah, they’re definitely having a boy.

“Oh my God,” I hear Natalie say quietly from somewhere in the room, “the blanket is pink. Does that mean what I think it means?” She brings both hands up to her face, her ring-adorned fingers touching her lips. I’m actually surprised that she’s being so tame. Blake stands next to her, quiet as ever.