The Earl of Davenport: Wicked Regency Romance (Wicked Earls' Club #7)(20)

He was so close she could feel the heat from his body and his laugh rippled through her like a current. An intoxicating, delicious current. She closed her eyes for a moment to revel in the sound.

They popped open again when his hands came to her shoulders, rubbing gently. A simple, sweet caress that somehow made her gown feel too tight and her skin overly heated.

“How on earth are you selfish, my little angel?”

She shivered again, this time at the tender tone. “Angel?” she echoed. With a sniff she added, “I thought I was your little hellion.”

He laughed again and she felt her own lips tug upward in response.

“I’ve changed my mind. Now tell me, what is this all about?”

She was too ashamed to admit it aloud—yet, she also needed to say it. If this marriage stood any chance of working, honesty was key. “There are not many benefits to having a background like mine.” She turned to face him with a shrug. “I was told from an early age that my mother was not really my mother.”

To his credit, he did not so much as blink at that statement. But then, she supposed he already knew so her affirming that fact was hardly newsworthy. Still, it felt momentous to say it aloud to someone outside of her immediate family.

His hands came up to cup her face. “I am sorry,” he said. “You deserved a better childhood than to be made to feel second best.”

She stared at him wide-eyed for a moment. How had he known? But then, it was clear. He had been around her family her whole childhood as Jed’s friend. She supposed it had been obvious even to a visiting friend. But now she shrugged. “That is beside the point.”

He raised his brows in question.

“Yes, there are down sides to my unique position within the family,” she said. “But there was one benefit.”

He waited patiently for her to continue.

“No one expected me to marry.”

His brows shot up at that. He looked torn between amusement and anger. The fact that his anger was on her behalf made her warm all the way through. “Your family did nothing to give you a future and that is a good thing?”

“I should clarify,” she said. “They did not expect me to marry well.”

“Ah,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “That is much better.”

She found herself stifling a laugh, some of her heartache melting away with his humor. “It was, in fact.” She looked around the inn’s small room rather than meet his gaze. “You see, when no one has expectations for one’s future, one can dream of anything.”

He watched her with that hint of amusement. “I see. So you dreamed of… what? A lovely life as a spinster? The doting aunt, perhaps?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, silly. I dreamt of marrying for love.”

Her words caused him to still. His eyes remained fixed on her but his body had tensed. His arms crossed in front of his chest. “I see.”

She’d thought it would feel good to get this out in the open but now she felt her heart sinking in her chest as he recoiled from her words of love.

Finally, he shook his head. “And how exactly does this make you selfish?”

She sighed, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “Because I never doubted that my sister would marry well. I never truly thought about the fact that she would not have a choice in her life. I was happy to let her be the sacrificial lamb, so to speak.”

His expression turned grim. “And now you are the sacrificial lamb, is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

Oh dear. She was making a mess of this. The amusement had faded from his face and the light in his eyes had faded to a dull gleam.

“No, that’s not it. At least—” She stared at him for a moment, wondering how she could make this right. Only one way occurred to her. She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks at the mere thought. Her stomach twisted with nerves as her mouth grew dry. There was nothing for it but to tell him the truth.

He deserved honesty and she owed it to them both to start this marriage with no secrets. No misunderstandings. She took a deep breath and licked her lips. “I suppose when you proposed I thought that all of my dreams were coming true. I thought—”

Her mouth grew dry and talking became impossible as his eyes narrowed on her. She had the horrible sensation again that he was a predator and she his prey. If she told him the truth now, she would forever be at a disadvantage. He would hold all the cards.

But then, he already did. He held her family’s future in his grip. And on top of that, he was her childhood friend. More than that, he was the first boy she’d had feelings for and, while she’d thought she’d gotten over that silliness, one kiss had told her otherwise.

What she’d once deemed a childish infatuation turned achingly real whenever she was alone with him. Getting to know him these past two days had only made the feelings grow, but now it didn’t feel nearly as harmless as a simple girlish infatuation. He filled her with emotions she didn’t understand but couldn’t deny. Her body responded to his as if they were made to be together. His kiss had set her aflame with desire but it had also felt like a homecoming.

But it was more than just childish hero worship and passionate kisses. He challenged her at every turn and when she saw herself through his eyes, she loved what she saw. Being around him made her feel like a better version of herself. The way he looked at her—like she was beautiful, like she was strong and generous. Like she deserved to be seen and recognized.