The Demon's Bargain (A Deal With a Demon #4)(22)

Ramanu goes tense. “No. Out of the question.”

I agree with them, but that doesn’t stop me from raising my eyebrows. “Sorry, but did you think you get a say about who I fuck or why?”

“Not yet.”

I blink. “What do you mean ‘not yet’?”

They lace their fingers through mine without answering. I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all. But what am I supposed to do? I need them as a fail-safe, and we both know it. I reluctantly lead them away from Sanctuary, heading toward the food stalls.

I’ve never felt as conflicted as I am around Ramanu. I like the demon, and I really like how we fuck, but out of everyone I’ve ever been with, their agenda is the clearest.

Seven years of my life.

I can’t forget that, and while I appreciate that they’ve been very up front about their goals, that doesn’t change the fact it’s a sword hanging over my neck. I don’t know if I can beat Kristoff. The cost of failure just seems to compound the longer he has the amulet.

I’m scared by how much I want to ask Ramanu to handle it for me.

They stop unexpectedly, I make it several steps before our linked hands pull me up short. I turn back. “What’s wrong?”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“You don’t have to do this alone. Stop being so stubborn and let me help you.”

I release their hands and cross my arms over my chest. “I hate that you can read my emotions or mind or scent or whatever you’re doing.” In the past I’ve prided myself on my poker face, on not letting anyone close.

Maybe that’s part of the problem.

I shove the words away. I’ve made my choices, and I don’t regret them. Mostly. I don’t need Ramanu poking around inside my head, even if that’s not what they’re actually doing. I have good shields. They couldn’t if they tried. It’s still incredibly uncomfortable to be seen so clearly no matter what my face is doing. I swallow hard. “Stop it.”

“No.”

I blink. “Excuse me?”

“No. It’s a simple word, little witch.” They shift closer but make no move to touch me. “It’s part of who I am, the same way your magic is part of you. Even if I could shut it off, I wouldn’t.”

I open my mouth to argue and then stop short. I’m lashing out at Ramanu because I’m angry about the situation. Before now, I don’t know if I’d have realized it or been able to put on the brakes even if I had. I manage to grit my teeth and say, “Then at least stop commenting on it all the time. It’s invasive.”

“It’s really not.” An edge creeps into Ramanu’s voice. “You’re splashing your emotions out for everyone to see. It’s not my fault no one else bothers to look closely enough to see them.” They grip my shoulders lightly. “Let me help you, Lenora. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Again, that horrible wavering feeling rises inside me. I want to say yes. I want it so badly, I’m about to start shaking. It’s been weeks of fear and panic, trying to get that amulet back from Kristoff. Even asking Jack for help wasn’t easy, but at least I knew Jack wouldn’t hold it against me. That’s not how they roll.

I don’t have that assurance with Ramanu. In fact, I have the exact opposite.

“I do have to,” I whisper.

“No, you don’t.” Their jaw goes tight. “I’ll enter the ring and take back the amulet.”

“For the cost of seven years.”

They mutter something that sounds like a curse. “No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not.” They drop their hands. “I like you, little witch. And I’ve developed an instant dislike for that particular ex of yours. I’ll do this because I want to.”

I want to believe them. I really, really do. But if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that if something seems too good to be true, it almost definitely is. “I can’t trust you.” It scares me how badly I want to trust them. That feeling has only ever betrayed me in the past. Surely this time won’t be any different. I can’t risk it. Not when the stakes are so high.

That’s not the full truth, though, is it? “I don’t want you hurt, Ramanu. Not because you’re trying to help me.” Demon or no, the fact is Kristoff is formidable. Maybe Ramanu will win, but I can’t imagine it will be a costless victory. The thought of them being hurt because of me makes my stomach twist. “Don’t ask me again. I made this mess. I’ll be the one to clean it up.”

They make a sound of frustration. “If you won’t allow me to help with the tournament, what will you allow?”

I should say nothing. The smartest thing would be to cut ties now. Ramanu can find their way back to their realm without me doing a formal banishment; they come and go as they please when not summoned, and there’s no reason they can’t do exactly that right now. There’s not a single reason I can’t walk away from them now.

Except…I don’t want to.

“We can’t do anything until the tournament. Could you…” Gods, what am I about to do? I push forward before common sense can pump the brakes. “Can you keep me distracted until it’s time?”