The Darkness in Dreams (Enforcer's Legacy, #1)(93)

“I’m sure he wouldn’t even if I asked. You, however, don’t have any qualms.”

Three’s posture remained elegant, thoughtful, but Lexi could read the tension in the woman’s back.

“After Gemma’s death, Christan had a blood debt against Kace. He would have collected if I hadn’t intervened. Such an act would have caused a Calata war, but that is not why Christan put himself in the Void.” Three paused, as if considering her words. “I asked him to do something, and the result was so horrendous he believes he is no longer the man he once was—or could ever be again.”

“What did you ask him to do?”

“Something that is now immortal myth.” Three made a slight negative movement with her head. “It was easy enough. An immortal killed innocent women and children. I found the crime grotesque. I demanded justice and embedded a one word for vengeance so deeply into Christan’s mind he will never be free. Then I ordered him into the jungle. Ordered him to extend the execution for twenty-three days, one day for each victim. I told him to break each bone, wait until the immortal healed and break the bones again. Strip the flesh until the files swarmed. When Christan asked to extend mercy in the form of a quick death, I denied him. Compelled him through the one word to continue as I had asked. They call it the eighteen days of dying. That’s how long it took me to realize what I’d done. But I waited too long. Christan had given up too much of himself and I almost couldn’t pull him back.”

Three was quiet. Then she turned and put her back to the light. Her tone was suddenly bitter.

“I chose his life for him,” she said. “I damaged him in the process. But you, Gaia—you destroyed him in that lifetime. When he came out of that jungle he needed you more than he ever needed anyone in his long life. You were the one person who could have convinced him of the truth. Offered him redemption. And your answer was to turn your back and ask his greatest enemy to kill him.”

But the immortal was not finished. When she spoke, the words were stones laid heavily on Lexi’s heart.

“Christan could have endured everything, except one thing. He was created to be an Enforcer, a man of justice and honor. But he could not protect you from Kace. When he saw you on that road, when—after the fighting was over and he found your broken body—he realized that he’d lost all sense of honor. He believed that he'd failed in his responsibility to protect you. That was the sin he could not forgive and it was not even his sin, Gaia. It was yours, when you hated him enough to run to Kace.”

The coffee cup clattered as Lexi returned it to the tray. All this time, she had believed asking Kace to kill him was the worst thing she’d ever done. But now she saw the depth of the destruction. Beneath her skin, Gemma’s memory line began to twist. Lexi gripped her wrist, trying to halt the pain.

Nothing helped. The images flared, burned: Christan, staring into the fire, hearing her voice. Turning his head, a look of such deep grief and pain. Guilt. Anger. Lexi bent beneath it. Gemma had looked at him—god, she remembered the disgust in the curl of Gemma’s mouth. The irritation Gemma felt over her own selfish hurts, the precise expression on her face when she turned and walked from the room.

Trembling, Lexi wondered how she could fight her way through those memories and still look at Christan. He said he’d forgiven Gemma, but Lexi couldn’t forgive herself. Not now. There was only one thought that was coherent.

“You keep calling me Gaia.”

“Because you are Gaia. You’re Gemma. You’re all of them.”





Lexi found it difficult to sit still. The look on Christan’s face was beaten into her memory. That night on a moon-shot road so long ago, when she’d thought the bitter condemnation on his face had been directed at her—it had been directed toward himself. He stood alone in the glow of silver as if he was disappearing into a cold black place from which he would never return—and she hadn’t even tried to reach him, answer him. He’d been destroyed, worse than anything she’d seen other than when he’d been bending over her in Zurich with his hands on her face. Her eyes were too blurry to see the skyline of Seattle, but she pretended a great interest.

“Where is Christan?”

“You mean where did he go after he destroyed a three-story building in Zurich?” The Immortal had returned to her chair. “He’s gone to war.”

“I’m not sure what that means.”

“It means he went back to Florence, and when he didn’t find you there, he did what he does best—he destroys things. Arsen and Darius are with him.”

Lexi shifted restlessly. “Only two warriors went with him?”

“You’re worried?” Three arched a blond eyebrow. “Don’t be. You’ve seen him fight when he was only annoyed. Now he’s angry and vengeful and he has a blood bond flowing in his veins. There was a reason why civilizations in Central America made blood sacrifices to keep him pacified. He abhorred the practice and retreated to Europe. He will send a much-needed message to Six, and then he will calm down and we will have a rational conversation.”

“Do you understand Christan at all?”

“I understand him quite well.”

“Yet you’ve manipulated every aspect of his life, forced him—by your own words—to do the things you require. Did you ever give him a choice? Or were all the repeating lifetimes with me simply a way to get him to do what you want?”