The Darkest Part (Living Heartwood #1)(75)

I bend at the knees and grasp the backs of her thighs, lifting her into my arms. Unlike the show, or at the tree when I was a screwed up teenager who didn’t have a clue, I don’t stop. I walk her across the room and press her against the wall, so hard, I can feel every one of her curves against my body.

But hell if another thought doesn’t stick my brain. Lowering her feet to the ground, I step away. Sam releases a soft groan, and it tears at my insides. I have to do this first, though. I look into her eyes. “Do you trust me?”

She nods. “Yes.”

Untangling her arms from around my neck, I place them by her sides and then walk to her pack. Finding the bag of prescriptions, I read the labels. Then I pinch one of the antipsychotic pills between my fingers. I inhale a massive breath as I stalk back to her.

Standing before her, I hold up the pill. Her eyes widen. “Open your mouth.”

If she’s truly in her right mind, if she’s given us any thought at all, if she’s ready to release my brother’s ghost . . . This is it. If she’s not, all she has to do is tell me no.

I’ll f*cking jump out the window if she does. Because there’s no way I’m coming down from what she just said. But I do love her. And this . . . between us—it has to be right.

With a trembling chin, she opens her mouth. I’m just as shaky as I place the pill on her tongue. Her throat moves as she swallows the medication. And then just as quickly, my lips are on hers, tasting the bitterness of the pill on her tongue. I work hard to make that taste disappear.

Every emotion, every pent up frustration, is barreling out of me at once. I’m worried I’m going to hurt her if I don’t slow down. But I can’t. My hands are on her hips. Then her ass. Her tits. I’m all over the place.

“I don’t know where to start,” I say, my voice quivering with my restrain.

She laughs, and it’s the best sound. “Don’t hold back. You won’t break me.” It’s like she read my mind. I’m suspended for one moment while I stare into her eyes, then with a groan, I sink to my knees.

She gasps as I strip off her God awful pants. Her hands go to my shoulders, and I look up. “Spread your legs.” Her eyes hold mine as she does, and then I’m touching her hips, my fingers skimming her pink underwear. I kiss her stomach, trailing my tongue across her skin.

I desperately want to finish tasting her. For this first time—because, oh, there will be many more tonight—I want to make her come how I wanted to that night in Memphis. My thumb grazes her clit through the material, and my cock extends rock hard at the feel of how wet she is.

I have to reach down and adjust myself, or I’m going to hurt. Then I’m sliding her underwear to the side, staring at and loving her smoothness. Softness. The scent of her body wash mingles with her desire, and I can’t take it. I pull her underwear down and help her step out of them. Then with a want I’ve never felt before, I close my mouth around her, and she digs her nails into my shoulders.

Sliding a finger into her, I stroke my tongue over her clit. Her thighs tremble against my arms. I pull one of her legs over my shoulder so she can balance, because I’m not stopping now. As she gets wetter, she tightens around my finger, and I suck her into my mouth.

“Oh, shit,” she breathes.

A deep rumble vibrates from the back of my throat as I work my finger harder against the swell. Her leg wraps tighter around me, pulling me to her, and I nip, just a slight tease with my teeth. She begins to shatter under my touch, under my mouth and tongue. And I f*cking love it.

Her hips arch into me, begging for release. “Come for me, Sam. So hard. Right now.” My voice is raspy and low, and I can’t believe I’m able to talk—I’m about to come out of my skin.

And as she as does, she tightens around my finger to the point where I can only press against the swollen mound. I swirl my tongue over her clit as she trembles and arches one last time. Her breathing intensifies until she’s panting, her body tensing, and then she sags against the wall.

I look up at her, beautiful and satisfied, as she lowers her gaze. “You do know I’m far from finished.” No other words have ever been truer. Just feeling her . . . and watching her . . . I almost blew in my boxers. I’m not sure if I can hold out, but I have to be inside her. Now. Then I’ll take my time. Making sure I memorize every inch of her. Inside and out.

Then, “Shit.” I thunk my forehead against the wall between her thighs.

“Oh—” She jerks, and I realize my hair just grazed her sensitive area.

“Sorry.” I sit back on my heels and raise my head. “Just . . . I didn’t bring anything.”

She tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth. “You mean a condom?” I nod, and I want to ram my head right through the wall. “Holden, I’m on birth control.”

“But you haven’t taken any pills the whole time we’ve been on the road.”

She rolls her eyes. “There are other kinds other than pills. Shit.” She laughs, and her voice is music.

“You’re not worried about . . .” Hell.

A slow smile crawls across her face. “Well, you know who I’ve been with. And”—she hikes her brows—“would you really be with me if there was something I should worry about?”

I feel my forehead crease. “No. Never.” I grasp her thighs and stare into her face, worshipfully, like I’m knelt in prayer. “I swear to you, I’ve always been safe.”