The Darkest Part (Living Heartwood #1)(51)

My mental assault breaks off as I hear Holden’s deep exhale. “Are you still not wearing pants?”

Shit. And what’s my excuse? “No. It’s pretty stuffy in he—” No time to finish that sentence as Holden bounds from his bed and stands over me, the evidence of his torture apparent in his boxers.

He rips the covers back, and I yelp. “What are you—?” But obviously words mean nothing to him. His eyes are blazing blue, even in the dim light, and he forcefully moves between my legs to hover above me.

“Holden,” I say, trying like hell to put conviction in my tone. “We can’t. You know this is wrong . . . on like . . . so many levels.”

He nods. “I know. And I’m going to answer for every one of my sins. But right now, I don’t give a f*ck.” He grasps my ankles and pulls, flattening my back against the bed. My tee rides up, exposing my black boy shorts and stomach.

My skin tingles as Holden slowly raises my leg, resting my ankle on his shoulder. He’s kneeling, using his other hand to angle himself above me. His eyes only release me when he turns his head to press a soft kiss to my calf.

My breath catches in my throat.

His hand skims my leg, his mouth trailing its path, the cool metal of his lip ring sending so many, too many shivers dancing across my skin.

I’ve never felt so helpless, so immobile, and so hopeful that he doesn’t stop—if I don’t move, if I let him continue, can I pretend I’m not a willing participant? No. I can’t lie to myself. If I’m going to stop this, I have to now. Because as his mouth moves to my thigh, and his tongue just grazes my skin, I know I won’t be able to soon.

“Holden—”

“Say anything but stop,” he says, low, his voice husky with need.

I swallow. “Please,” I get out.

“Oh, I’m going to please you. You can bet your sweet ass.” And he sinks his teeth into the flesh just below my center, eliciting a soft moan from my throat.

Against my will, my hands go to his hair and my fingers curl. His groan rumbles through me as he tugs my underwear down. My eyes open.

“Stop.” It comes out soft and desperate, but it’s enough.

He looks up at me from between my thighs. Leaning on his elbows, he grasps my hips with both hands. “You don’t have to do anything, Sam. Just let me make you come. That’s enough for me.” His eyes seek approval, and they reach right into my soul. His words and heated breath against my skin making this the most difficult thing. Ever.

When I don’t deny him, Holden kisses the soft, sensitive skin along my pelvic area, right above my slit, and I gasp. The ache blooms, building into a pulsing pain. As his tongue flicks my skin, and his lip ring grazes me, the ache deepens. All I want is for him to enter me. Make the ache stop.

I turn my head to the side, fist my hands in his hair, as he slips a finger inside while he takes me into his mouth. His tongue strokes, and then swirls. Holy f*ck.

“I knew you’d taste just as sweet,” he says. And I can’t help but smile. I haven’t felt desired in so long . . .

He reaches the throbbing ache and pushes his finger in deeper. I arch my hips, wanting, needing more of him. My thighs tighten, pressing against his warm, hard shoulders, as his teeth graze my clit, and when he sucks me into his mouth, I nearly tumble over the edge.

My eyes open and I glimpse the picture box. My heart freezes in my chest.

“Holden, no.” I push against his head. “Please. We have to stop. I’m sorry. Stop.”

With a forced, strained exhale, he removes himself from me and pushes away. The sudden cool air hitting my body sobers me even further.

I pull myself into a ball, wrapping my arms around my legs. “I just can’t . . . Tyler—”

Holden sits back on his heels, his chest heaving. “I know.” Then he’s off the bed, his erection straining against his boxers. I can’t help but look, notice the size . . . and a whole new wave of need seizes me. Stop.

He steps into his jeans and yanks them up, then reaches over and grabs a pillow from his bed.

I swallow hard. “Where are you going?”

“To sleep in the truck.”

“What—why?”

His eyes flay me. “Because there’s no way in hell I’m getting any sleep here.”

Guilt stabs my chest. “So this is my fault?”

His hand pauses as he’s buttoning his jeans. Then he walks toward me and kneels, becoming level with me. “I’m not angry. Nothing is your fault.” He places his hands on either side of my face. “I just can’t be in the same room as you and not be with you. I need to calm down.”

His voice is so earnest, and his eyes are so convincing, I nod. “All right.”

He rests his lips against my forehead, brushing a light kiss, before he backs away and steps into his boots. After the door shuts behind him, the silence blankets me in humiliation.

Sleep doesn’t come easy.





Holden

Stretched out on the bench seat of my truck, willing my thoughts on anything other than Sam, I pound the back of my head into the lumpy pillow. It’s pointless. I can still taste her. Still feel her. Her sweet scent followed me into the cab and it’s swimming in the air. Tormenting me.

I haven’t calmed down at all. My dick presses against my jeans painfully, and I push back, adjusting my rock hard erection against my stomach. That was a fun walk across the lobby. Hell.