The Darkest Night (Lords of the Underworld #1)(100)

"The gods?"

She nodded. Well, Anya had never verified that little tidbit. Ashlyn had just assumed.

Again, silence.

"You would do that?" Disbelief filled Paris's electric eyes. "For Violence?"

"Yes." Thinking of the pain she would endure terrified her, but she didn't hesitate with her answer.

"I stab him," Reyes reminded her. "That means I would have to stab you. Six times. In the stomach."

"I know," she said softly. She gazed down at her bare feet. "I see it in my mind every day, and I relive it every night."

"Let's say you do break his curse," Lucien said. "You will have condemned him to a life without you."

"I'd rather he live without me than die repeatedly with me at his side. He suffers so much and I just can't allow it."

"Self-sacrifice." Reyes snorted. "Sounds ridiculous to me."

Ashlyn raised her chin another notch and tried the same logic the goddess had used on her. "Look at the world's most beloved fairy tales," she said. All that magic, all those happily-ever-afters. "Selfish queens always die and the good princesses always win."

Reyes snorted again. "Like you said, fairy tales."

"Aren't all fairy tales based in fact? You yourself are supposed to be nothing more than a myth. Pandora's box is a story parents read to their children at night," she countered. "That means life itself is a fairy tale. Like the characters, we all live and love and search for a happily-ever-after."

They continued to stare at her, something unreadable in their eyes. Maybe... admiration? Minutes dragged by, torturously slow. She'd made her decision and if she had to stab herself to carry it out, she would.

"All right," Lucien said, shocking her. "We'll do it."

"Lucien!" Reyes scoffed.

Lucien peered over at Reyes, and Ashlyn could see hope lighting his severely scarred face. "This will free us, too, Reyes. We'll be able to leave the fortress for more than a single day. We could travel if we wished. We could leave - and stay gone - when we craved solitude."

Reyes opened his mouth, closed it.

"In the movies Paris has forced us to watch," Lucien continued, "good always overcomes evil with an extreme act of self-sacrifice."

"Human movies mean nothing. If we do this, we could be cursed even more. Punished for defying the gods' will."

"For Maddox, for freedom, why not risk it?"

"Maddox will not like it," Reyes said, but there was hope in his voice now, too. "I think... I think he would rather have the human."

That observation warmed her, but she didn't back down. She couldn't - wouldn't - let Maddox suffer like that night after night, knowing there was something she could do. He'd paid for his crimes, plus interest.

An eye for an eye, she thought. He'd given her peace. She would do the same for him.

"Sometimes what we want isn't what we need," Lucien said. His voice had dropped and an edge of wistfulness seeped from it. What did he want that he didn't need?

"All right," Reyes finally said.

"Tonight," Ashlyn insisted. "It has to be tonight." She didn't want him to suffer yet again, nor did she want to risk changing her mind. "Just... give me as much time as possible with him, okay?"

Both men nodded grimly.

Maddox saw to Ashlyn's every need for the rest of the day. He fed her by hand and loved her body so many times he lost count. He talked about his plans for their future together. How her new job could be helping the warriors search for Pandora's box - if she so desired. How they would wed and spend every waking minute together - if she so desired. How they would seek a way to save her from aging so that they could have an eternity together - if she so desired. He would carve her anything she wanted, and she could read him passages from romance novels. If she so desired.

She laughed with him, teased him, loved him, but there was a quiet desperation about her that he did not understand. A sadness. He didn't press her. They had time. For once, he viewed time as his friend. She couldn't know that she had tamed him. Tamed the spirit. And that now, both existed to please her.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked. "Tell me and I will make it better."

"It's almost midnight," she said, trembling.

Ah. He understood now. He gazed down at her. They sat on the edge of his bed and he clasped her hand in his. Moonlight bathed her lovely features, illuminating the concern in her eyes. "I will be fine."

"I know."

"Hardly hurts, I swear."

That earned him a soft chuckle. "Liar."

Her laughter warmed him, inside out. "I want you to stay in another bedroom tonight."

She shook her head, tickling his arm with strands of her hair. "I'm going to stay with you."

He sighed. There was such determination in her voice.

"All right." He wouldn't permit himself any reaction to the stabbing. He would not make a noise, would not move a muscle. He would die with a smile on his face. "We will - "

Reyes and Lucien entered the bedroom, more grim than he'd ever seen them. He wondered at their mood, but decided not to question them in front of Ashlyn. No reason to heap anything else on her right now; she was about to watch him be murdered.