The Challenge(55)

“He might have, but they wouldn’t. They worshipped their father. I don’t want them to hate you because we rush it.”

“We already have,” he reminded her.

“But they don’t know that. All boys think their mothers are virgins and saints.”

“You may be a saint one day, but you are very definitely not a virgin, my darling, not anymore.” He made love to her again after that, and proved his point. They slept in each other’s arms afterwards. They didn’t hear Justin let himself into the house with his key and go up to his room, where he took a bottle of rum out of an old guitar case in his closet. He had bottles stashed all over the place now, even in his car. He took a long drink and fell asleep on his bed. He had slipped out of class for just that purpose. He liked the buzz rum gave him, especially if he smoked a joint with it. He had smoked his last one on the way home from school, with a rum chaser now. He had only started drinking and smoking dope since they were lost on the mountain, and most of all since his father died. He felt as though he had failed everyone. He didn’t care about college now, where he went or if he went at all. He didn’t even want to fill out his applications.

The house was silent and warm, and when they woke up, Tom and Marlene went down to the kitchen naked, and she made them lunch. There was a light dusting of snow outside. Winter had unofficially arrived, and Tom could imagine them making love all through the winter. And then in the summer, they could come out of hiding and tell the world.

They were halfway through the simple lunch she had made them, when Tom wanted her again. He pulled her gently into his arms, and started making love to her, sitting in a kitchen chair. She was coming when Tom heard a gasp behind them and a shout. She opened her eyes and saw her son standing in the kitchen doorway, watching them with a look of horror on his face, and of hatred when he saw Tom. He advanced on his mother as though to strike her, and Tom grabbed his arm, with the two of them naked and Justin in a parka with tears running down his cheeks.

“You whore!” he screamed at his mother. “You bitch! How could you do that to Dad? Did you cheat on him when he was dying too?” He was sobbing and Marlene was crying, trying to explain as the two of them stood there naked and Tom was restraining Justin and telling him to calm down. Marlene ran away up the stairs then to get dressed, and Justin ran out the door. Tom couldn’t run after him with no clothes on. He had noticed the distinct smell of alcohol on Justin’s breath when he was restraining him, and Tom was sure Justin was drunk. He leapt in his car and drove off, as Tom closed the door on an icy blast and went to get dressed too. Marlene was sobbing hysterically on the bed, and Tom tried to console her. There was no avoiding the fact that it had been a hideous scene, her worst nightmare come true.

“Oh my God, Tom, he saw us! He saw us making love!”

“Yes, he did, and I didn’t want him to see it either, but he’s almost eighteen, he’s not six. You’re widowed, his father is not alive, you weren’t cheating on his father. He shouldn’t have seen what he did, and it’s embarrassing for all of us, but in the real world, you didn’t do anything wrong. You had sex in the kitchen, and your son saw you naked. Mortifying, but not criminal.” But there was no reasoning with her. She was as hysterical as Justin had been.

“Where is he?”

“He drove away. And to be honest with you, I’m concerned about him. I smelled alcohol on his breath while I was trying to keep him from hitting you. And what was he doing home in the middle of the day? I think he’d been drinking, or he came home to drink, thinking you wouldn’t be here. I saw him drinking at the Pollocks’ reception the day of the funeral. He had a full bottle of vodka, masqueraded as bottled water, and he was drunk. I figured it was a bad day, but I’m worried that he’s been drinking since then, and maybe before. I didn’t want to worry you unless I saw him do it again. I gave it a pass the day of his father’s funeral. But not today. And now he’s driving. Do you know where he might go?” Tom started dressing quickly, and wanted to go and look for him, but Marlene shook her head. She had no idea where he’d go, and she didn’t believe what Tom had said about Justin drinking.

“You’re just trying to make us seem less guilty. He wasn’t drunk, he was upset.”

“I think he was both,” Tom said calmly.

“And how do you know it was vodka in the water bottle?”

“I tasted it myself when he left it. It was straight vodka. Marlene, you can’t ignore this.” And they were both panicked at the thought of his being on the road, which was probably icy under the snow.

Tom put his clothes on and drove around the neighborhood looking for him but didn’t see him anywhere, on foot or in his car. When Tom got back to the house, he and Marlene agreed that they couldn’t call the police to be on the lookout for him, or they’d arrest him if he was under the influence. They had called his cellphone and he hadn’t answered, it went straight to voicemail and Marlene left him a message, apologizing and begging him to come home. All they could do was wait now, for him to come home, or contact them.

Marlene called Anne and Pattie, but Justin wasn’t at their homes, and they hadn’t seen him. The other boys were in school.

“Is something wrong?” Anne asked her.

“We had kind of an argument,” Marlene said, still in tears, and desperately worried about him.