The Challenge(45)
Peter called Juliet when he got home, and told her about Noel and Justin’s dad. She was sad for them and didn’t know what to say. She sent each of them a text saying that she was thinking of them, and how sorry she was. She told her father when she saw him a few hours later. He called Marlene and one of the hospice nurses answered. They were packing up their things and waiting for the rentals to be picked up, like the hospital bed they’d had for a year. Marlene was still sitting in the kitchen, feeling paralyzed when Tom called her. He asked if there was anything he could do for her, and she said there wasn’t. She sounded like she was in a daze, and Tom felt terrible for her, but in a way, he thought it was a mercy for all of them that it was over. The end had been so hard and had taken so long. Now she could get on with her life and so could the boys. It was a hard way to look at it, and he didn’t say it to her, but it seemed healthier for all of them. He was sorry he hadn’t known Bob when he was at his best, since everyone spoke highly of him. He had met him twice when he first moved to Fishtail. Bob had been in a wheelchair, and Marlene had taken him out for some air. He was bald from the chemotherapy, rail thin and deathly pale, but he had kind, intelligent eyes, and had wished Tom the best in his new home. Now he was gone. It made Tom muse about the mysteries of life and death, and how strange and sad it was that interesting, lively, intelligent, good people suddenly disappeared from our lives in an instant, never to be seen again. He felt sorry for their boys, who would grow up without a father, with whatever memories they had of him as their only comfort, and their mother, who had been so brave ever since Tom had met her. He knew the days ahead would be agony for her.
“Bob did everything for the funeral himself,” she told him on the phone, when he offered to help her. “He had very definite ideas about everything. I think Justin should read the eulogy, but he hates public speaking and he’s afraid he won’t be able to get through it, and Noel is too young.” Tom had barely known him so he couldn’t do it either and didn’t offer. “Pitt said he’d do it,” she said softly. “Will you come to the service, Tom?” she asked him.
“Of course, if you want me to,” he said, as support for her.
“I’d like to know you’re there.” She felt like a frail, vulnerable bird, or a butterfly, whose wings had been torn off. She hadn’t realized how broken she would feel and how helpless and lost, even though he’d been sick for a year. But she didn’t feel prepared, no matter how much warning they had had, from the first diagnosis to the final death sentence when they stopped chemo and sent him home to die. Even then, it had taken nearly three more months for it to happen. Bob had hung on for as long as he could, for her sake and their sons’.
“I’ll be there,” Tom assured her, “whenever you want me.”
“Thank you, it means a lot to me.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Do you want me to have the boys come over for dinner?”
“No. I sent Justin out for food earlier. They can take care of it themselves, and Pattie and Anne are going to drop some meals off tomorrow so we don’t starve.” She felt incapable of cooking or doing anything else. Tom was mildly surprised by how disoriented she seemed. He had thought she was stronger than that, but she was still in shock. She had loved Bob for a long time, and relied on him. From all Tom had heard, he had been a strong, very courageous man, and he had provided well for them in every way. He’d been the most respected lawyer in their community, as was Marlene. Pitt and Bill spoke highly of them, and had used them for all their ranch legal matters for years.
“Give the boys my love,” Tom said before he hung up. “And know that I’m just a phone call away, if you need me.”
“Thank you, Tom,” she said sadly. It sounded as though a bomb had hit her life. It had hit them a year ago, but the final explosion had come that day.
She left the kitchen and saw that the nurses had left and all the rentals had been picked up. It really was all over. She wanted to lie on her bed and scream, keening for him, but she didn’t want to frighten the boys.
She saw that Justin’s door was closed when she went upstairs. She knocked gently but he didn’t answer, so she didn’t go in. She didn’t want to intrude on his privacy if he wanted to be left alone to grieve. He had a right to mourn as he needed to, and she wanted to respect that. Noel was in his own room, playing a video game to distract himself. If she had gone into Justin’s room, she would have seen him out cold on his bed, with the empty bourbon bottle on the floor next to him. Justin had taken the only way out he could think of to get away from everything he felt, and all that he had no idea what to do about. He felt like he was at the bottom of a well, and had drowned at 3:17 p.m. when his father took his last breath.
Chapter 13
Bob Wylie’s funeral was exactly the way he wanted it, according to all the written instructions he had left and what he had told Marlene. The music, the flowers, the seating. He hadn’t told her at the time so as not to upset her, but he had picked the casket himself. It was a handsome dark mahogany, and he had paid for it, so she didn’t have to do that either. The casket was closed at the rosary, which seemed suitable, given how ill he was.
Marlene had bought suits for the boys several months before, just in case, and was relieved that they still fit. She had white shirts and black ties for them, and a black suit for herself. She decided not to wear a hat since it was summer, and the one she had bought was too wintry. She didn’t feel as though she needed one in Fishtail. Most funerals were informal affairs and people often wore jeans and a clean plaid shirt in a farming and ranching community. Many people didn’t own suits, but Bob had worn one every day. As attorneys, he felt that they should dress the part. Marlene always wore a dress or a skirt suit for work, and never pants, although she always changed into jeans and sneakers or cowboy boots the moment she got home. She wore high heels to Bob’s funeral, and looked very pretty despite the sad occasion.