The Challenge(35)

Tom and Beth waited while they examined Juliet at Saint Vincent’s, and said that she could go home. Tom drove them back from Billings, and Juliet was excited to be back at her father’s house, take a shower, wash her hair, and see her room.

“I thought I’d never see this place again,” she said with a look of wonder, when she first walked in. “I thought I’d never see any place again. The nights were terrifying, wondering if we’d be attacked by something. I thought we were dead when the bear came out of the cave and stood there roaring at us to protect her cub. And the days were exhausting. We just kept walking with no idea where we were going, and then we’d look over the edge of a trail and see a ravine we could have fallen into. I thought we were going to starve to death at the end. Luckily, I’d brought some sandwiches with me in my backpack when we went for a walk after the waterfall. We lived on them for three days.” Listening to her made Beth shudder, and Tom feel grateful all over again.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Tom asked Beth. He hadn’t asked her when she was going back to New York. He didn’t want her to feel he was pressing her. He was afraid that after her whole misadventure, she’d want to take Juliet with her, since she had called him irresponsible. Beth had calmed down markedly just in the few hours since Juliet had returned.

“I’d like to stay for dinner, if that’s okay.” They both wanted to be with Juliet, just to revel in the joy and relief of having her back with them. The whole experience seemed surreal now. Beth had been so terrified that Juliet was dead. Now it all seemed almost normal again. She wanted to touch her daughter and hug her and hold her to make sure it was real and she wasn’t dreaming.

Tom was making pasta and a salad while Beth poured two glasses of wine and handed one to him. Juliet was upstairs taking a shower. “I’m sorry I called you irresponsible,” she said, looking humbled. “It was an incredibly stupid and dangerous thing for the kids to do. Luckily, they all seem to have handled it as intelligently as they could in the circumstances, but it wasn’t your fault. You were right. They really are good kids, and their parents are all nice people. I guess kids just do incredibly dumb things sometimes.”

“I don’t think any of them will ever do anything like that again,” he said, and took a sip of his wine. It was nice being able to talk to her when she wasn’t furious or half crazed or all wound up. They hadn’t had a decent conversation in a year.

“You’re not irresponsible, Tom. I was just so mad at you when you wanted to turn your whole life around and leave New York. I can almost see why you love it here. Not quite,” she said, and smiled at him, “but almost.”

“I couldn’t fight the wars in New York anymore. The prize at the end of it wasn’t big enough, or worth it to me. Something changed for me. I felt like I was living someone else’s life. And we became strangers to each other, heading in opposite directions.”

“I don’t think I understood that until now. You’re different here. You seem happier,” she said quietly.

“I am. Everything got downsized to something I can live with. The only thing I don’t like is being so far from Juliet. I guess I’ll have to come and see her more often. Every six weeks isn’t enough. But if I were to move back to New York, it would eat me alive again. It’s just not worth it to me anymore.”

“Somehow I can’t see you as a cowboy either. Are you sure Montana is the right place for you?”

“It seems to be. I like the people I’ve met here. They lead wholesome lives and spend a lot of time with their kids. I’m kind of the odd man out, with Juliet in New York and my being single, but they’ve been very good to me. My clients don’t seem to care where I am. I can do pretty much everything I need to from here. I guess I’m a little old to be finding myself, but I like who I am here. I felt like a robot in New York, and I was coming apart.”

“You don’t miss it?” she asked him with a wistful look, and he shook his head.

“No, I don’t.”

“How did we end up so different?” she asked, looking mystified. “We didn’t used to be.”

“I don’t know. We lost each other somehow. I’m sad we did. You’re still happy with your life in New York.” He looked hard at her.

“I still want to win at the end of the day, but you were right, sometimes I think I pay too high a price for it. If we had lost Juliet on that mountain, my life and everything I’ve built would have meant nothing to me.” He nodded. He had felt the same way. But he realized now that Beth had always been more ambitious than he was. It just got more obvious as they got older. Her career meant more to her than his meant to him.

“I’m sorry everything got so screwed up for the last year. It was a hard transition to make, and I didn’t handle it gracefully. I panicked and left,” he said seriously.

“I felt like you had betrayed me, just because you didn’t want to do things my way anymore,” she confessed. She had gotten away with that for a long time. They both knew it now. He had cashed in his chips and refused to play the game after a while.

“I think you need a tougher guy than I am,” he said. “Or someone who wants to play the same game.”

“Maybe so.” It was a huge admission coming from her. She didn’t hate him anymore. She wasn’t even angry at him. The man who lived in Montana wasn’t one she’d have chosen now. She had no idea what kind of man would suit her, but she could see now that it wasn’t Tom. They both loved their daughter, but it was the only bond they had left.