The Cage(113)
She coughed up water, and sucked in a lungful of air.
She was alive.
UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
HarperCollins Publishers
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53
Rolf
THE TOWN SQUARE FELT too empty without the others. Rolf had watched them disappear into the night, leaving only him and Nok, who had sobbed for ten minutes before her anger bubbled up in one last surge, and she started struggling again. Weeks ago, he’d never have had the strength to keep her from running to the house to summon Serassi. But hiking up the mountain to sled had given him stamina, and throwing apples in the farm puzzle had built muscles in his thin arms. Nok tried to claw at the ground, but he pinned her wrist.
“Not yet. I’m sorry.”
“This is how you treat someone you love? Who’s going to be the mother of your child?”
Hot fury flashed behind Rolf’s eyes, pulsing in time with his aching head. She was trying to manipulate him again. It was so obvious now. As he looked around at the perfectly still trees and buildings of the cage, he felt a strangeness that unsettled him. Over the past few weeks he’d gotten used to the paths that looped them back to their starting place; he’d even stopped thinking it strange that such a beautiful girl had fallen for him. Now, anger built in him until he wanted to squeeze Nok’s wrists so hard she’d cry out.
He’d done everything for her, and it still wasn’t enough.
“You said you loved me too.” He didn’t recognize the hard edge in his voice. “You lied.”
“Hell yes, I lied! I would never love you . . . you twitchy . . . stupid . . . boy!” Tears mixed with her insults. “Did you think I’d love you because you were kind to me? Because you were patient with me? Because for the first time in my life someone looked at more than my legs? I hate you. I do. I swear. I . . . I . . .”
She broke down into sobs. She stopped struggling and curled into herself instead, trying to hug her knees close. He let go of her hesitantly, ready to tackle her again if she tried to run, but she only sobbed harder, rocking back and forth like she had the first day. The pink streak in her hair was caught in her eyelashes, damp with her tears. She suddenly shoved it back angrily.
“I do love you, you idiot! Of course I do!”
His anger melted away with hers. He watched her rocking and crying, and started to touch her knee but stopped his hand. He loved her, but could he trust her?
“Then why did you cheat on me? Lucky was my friend. And Leon’s a complete ass.”
“It wasn’t about them. It wasn’t about sex at all. It was about creating a stable world for our baby. Not just getting the boys loyal to us, but Mali and Cora too. The boys were just easier to work with, because boys only want one thing. My talent manager in London, Delphine . . . I spent years watching how she made men fall in love with her. She built an empire out of manipulating men. Their money. Their connections. The stability she got from that. I learned from her, even if I didn’t want to. I was afraid you and I wouldn’t be enough. Not so far from home. Not in a place where anything could happen. I needed all of us together on this—and I tried to do it the only way I know how.”
Rolf stared at her. Part of him still wanted to hurt her back, hurl insults just like she had. Call her a cheater. Call her manipulative. But then he surprised even himself.
He started laughing.
It was filled with pain and bitterness. He doubled over, supporting himself in the grass, his stomach cramped with angry laughter mixed with tears. It wasn’t until he had wrung himself out like a sponge that she pushed the pink streak out of her face.
“What’s so funny, then?” she asked sharply.
“You. And me. This place. We’ve both become the one thing that tormented us most back on Earth. I became Karl Crenshaw, my old bully, and you became Delphine. Cora was right about this place. It isn’t paradise. And the Kindred . . .” His fingers curled in the hard earth. “Maybe they aren’t what we thought they were.” His fingers started twitching, tap tap tap, all his old fears and old bad habits coming back in full force. He pushed at the bridge of his nose where his glasses used to rest.
Some genius.
“I should have seen it. I’m an idiot—”
Nok grabbed his hand, holding his fingers still. “No. Don’t ever say that. You’re brilliant and that’s why I love you. But you’re not perfect, and neither am I. It doesn’t matter.” Her jaw was set with determination.