The Bridge Kingdom (The Bridge Kingdom #1)(67)

“How much?” He shook his head at the number when she answered. “It’s more.”

“Are you bragging?”

“Just being truthful.”

The corner of her mouth quirked, and she was quiet for a moment before she continued. “To me, the amount was staggering. And I thought . . . I was told that Ithicana played and manipulated the market, gouged travelers afraid to tempt the seas, and exacted heavy taxes and tolls from merchants who wished to transport and market their own goods. That you decided who had the right to buy and sell in your markets, and that you’d take away that privilege if they crossed you in any way. That you controlled nearly all the trade between two continents and eleven different kingdoms.”

“Accurate.” He didn’t bother to add that Ithicana paid in blood for that right, because she’d seen the evidence herself.

“What wasn’t accurate . . . was the reason why.”

“What did they tell you?”

“Greed.” Her eyes were unblinking as she stared over the ocean. “When I was young, I believed you must live in enormous palaces filled all the greatest luxuries the world had to offer. That you sat on a throne of gold.”

“Ah, yes. My throne of gold. I keep it on another island and visit it when I need to reaffirm my sense of self-worth and entitlement.”

“Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not.” He picked at the top of his boot where the leather had split from too much exposure to salt water. “It must have been quite disappointing to discover the truth.”

Lara made a sound that was a half-laugh, half-sob. “Midwatch is just as luxurious as my home in the Red Desert, and my time spent here relaxing by comparison. I was raised hard, Aren.”

“Why were they so hard on you?”

“I thought I knew, but now . . .” She lifted her chin from her knees, turning her head to look at him. “You ask me what changed? What changed is that now I know you use that money to feed and protect your people.”

There had been a certain inevitability to her learning that truth. Maybe if he’d kept her locked up in the Midwatch house, with no contact with anyone but the staff and his guard, he might have kept it from her. But he’d wanted his marriage to Lara to be a symbol for change in Ithicana, a new direction. And for that to happen, they’d needed to see her, and there had always been consequences to that path, and the revelation of Ithicana’s secrets was one of them.

And he so badly wanted to trust her.

“The truth is, Ithicana isn’t survivable without the bridge,” he said. “Or rather, it is survivable, but only if every minute of every waking day is dedicated to survival.” Pivoting on the ground so they were facing each other, he stared into her eyes. The sun was rising, the light shifting from blue to gold, and it was like waking from a dream and being plunged back into reality. If Aren could have stopped it, he would’ve. “Imagine a life where you had to fight these storms and these waters to feed your family. To clothe your children. To shelter them. Where weeks might pass when you couldn’t take a boat on the water. Where a series of days might pass when it would verge on suicide to step outside your home. What else is there but survival in a world like that?”

Aren hadn’t realized he’d taken her hands, but she squeezed them tightly then, and he paused, his thumbs trailing lightly over her scars. “The bridge changes that. It allows me to give my people what they need so that some small part of their days might be dedicated to more than just survival, even if it’s only an hour. So that my people might have a chance to read, to learn, to make art. To sing or dance or laugh.”

He broke off, realizing that he’d never explained this to anyone. Explained what it was like to rule this place. The constant fight to give his people lives worth living. And it wasn’t enough. He wanted them to have more.

“You could feed every one of them like kings with that kind of money.” Lara wasn’t questioning his word, but driving him forward, extracting the whole of the truth.

“That’s true. But having those things—having the bridge—comes with a cost. Other kingdoms know what sort of revenue the bridge earns, and that makes them want to possess it. Pirates believe we have stockpiles of gold hidden throughout the islands, so they raid us to find it. So we have to fight. My standing army isn’t enormous, but during War Tides, nearly two thirds of my people drop their trades and take up arms to defend the bridge. I have to buy them weapons. I have to pay them for their service. And I have to compensate their families when they die.”

“So despite everything, Ithicana is only surviving after all.”

He tightened his grip on her hands. “But maybe someday it could be something better.”

Neither of them spoke, and when a soft breeze blew strands of hair across her face, Aren reached up to brush them away. Lara didn’t flinch from his touch. Didn’t look away. “You’re beautiful.” He tangled his fingers in her hair. “I’ve thought so since the moment I saw you, but I don’t think I’ve ever said it.”

Lara lowered her eyes, pink rising to her cheeks, although it might’ve just been the glow of the sun. She gave the slightest shake of her head.

“I should have.” He lowered his head, intent on kissing her, but instead a sharp noise made him jump.