The Boatman's Wife(37)

‘Pull together because my husband has died, or because my own father caused his death?’ Lily said, pointing at her dad, looking at her mom. She looked so frightened, but Lily didn’t feel sorry for her, because she had taken her dad’s side

‘How could you say such a thing, Lily? We adored Connor like our own,’ her mom said, her voice trembling with emotion. ‘Of course it’s not your father’s fault. It’s Ray George, he’s twisted around some of the things your father told him the night they got rescued.’

‘I knew the storm was coming, but I just kept on going,’ her father interrupted, his voice slurred and shaking.

To Lily’s horror, her father was crying.

‘Did you ignore the weather warnings, Daddy?’ Lily asked him, her heart tight in her chest.

‘I thought we’d be fine,’ her father said, tears streaming down his cheeks. ‘I’ve been out in storms like that before.’

‘Come on, Dad, not as big as that storm! You risked Connor’s life, and Ryan’s too.’

‘I asked them if they wanted to turn back, and they said no, it was fine,’ her dad said defensively.

‘That doesn’t make it okay! You should have known!’ she wailed.

‘But I’m telling you, what happened to Connor was pure accident, with the lobster trap line…’

‘What was it doing out, Daddy?’

Her father buried his face in his hands. ‘You’re right, Lily. I was the captain and Connor was my responsibility. It’s my fault he’s dead.’

Her father’s confession didn’t make Lily feel any better. In fact, she felt cold with fury. ‘I will never forgive you.’ She turned on her mom. ‘You can forget about me going out to make money to help Dad. I never want to get on a boat, ever again. I’m done fishing.’

She stormed out of the living room, leaving her mom aghast and her dad sobbing into his hands.

While Lily was pulling on her boots and coat, her mom appeared in the kitchen.

‘Lily, honey, please. Your father’s devastated,’ her mom said, reaching out for her. ‘He’s so sorry, but we all need to stick together. He needs you, Lily.’

‘No!’ Lily hissed at her mom, pulling back. ‘No, you don’t get to tell me to think of my dad’s feelings right now. Because it’s my husband who drowned all alone out there, and I can’t even say goodbye to him by burying his body. My husband, not yours, Mom, not Daddy!’

Lily took off across the snow and back up the hill towards home. There was a tiny crescent moon, which lit up a narrow silvery pathway for her. At the top of the hill, she turned and looked down upon Rockland, her Downeast town by the ocean. The water was still and rippling beneath a shaft of moonlight, the wharf icy and all the harbour buildings covered in thick snow. She inhaled deeply, remembering the last time it had snowed. She and Connor had had a snowball fight out back. He’d told her it never snowed back in the west of Ireland the way it did in Maine.

‘It never sticks like this,’ he’d said, lying on his back in the snow and sweeping his legs and arms to make a snow angel.

Lily imagined Connor by her side now. Warmth upon her chilled cheeks as if he was blowing softly on them.

‘Okay,’ she whispered. ‘I hear you. I’ll take you back. Promise.’

She already had some of the savings from her mom in her own bank account – her mom had transferred enough to pay for that first appointment. Fertility treatment was pointless now, and she wasn’t going to give the money back to her mom for her father’s court case. But she had another use for it. She had to go to Mullaghmore and find Connor’s grandmother, Rosemary. If not for him, then for herself, because she felt like an outsider in her own hometown. The way things were right now, she never wanted to see her parents again.

The last line of the email from the mystery sender in Mullaghmore rose in her mind. I swear I’ll kill you! Whoever had sent the message had known about Lily and her life with Connor in Rockland, but she had no idea who they were. What was the secret in her husband’s past that had motivated someone to threaten him so dramatically? Lily knew she had to go to Ireland. She’d never rest until she got to the truth.





Chapter Ten





Mullaghmore, 9th August 1992





Even her mam had noticed Niamh was different. She glanced up from scribbling on the back of a shopping receipt to comment on how well Niamh looked as she was going out the door.

‘It’s great to see a smile on your face, Niamh,’ her mam said, before going back to writing whatever verse she was conjuring up.

Niamh had seen Jesse nearly every day since their first date. Doing exactly what Brendan had warned her not to do. But she just couldn’t stop herself.

Every evening, Jesse would come into Murphy’s after work and have a pint of Guinness up at the bar, taking the whole evening over it. Waiting until her shift was over. Then he’d walk her home if the night was fine, which involved a great deal of kissing, often with a detour to his little attic room – although Niamh was mindful not to be seen by Joseph O’Reilly.

If it were a rainy night, which it often was, then Jesse would pick her up on the bike, with waterproofs for her to put on, and speed her home. Sometimes, he’d stay overnight in the shed with her.