The Bachelor's Baby (Bachelor Auction Book 3)(30)
He snapped himself out of what could easily become a hypnotic study.
“The last thing I’m worrying about is what people in this town think of me. But it’s different for you, isn’t it? These are your friends. Did I give away too much out there?” He jerked his head toward the sidewalk.
Annie came back with Meg’s tea and she ordered toast and a fruit cup. Linc frowned at her skimpy appetite as he requested the rancher omelet and a double side of ham.
“I knew what I was doing.” Meg cupped both hands around her steaming mug as Annie left. “Both in moving back here and coming out for breakfast with the guy I won at the bachelor auction.” Her mouth took on a fatalistic twist. “People are going to talk. There’s no escaping that. And I’m as nosy as most. Probably worse, so I can’t complain,” she added with a rueful smirk. “I actually like that people look out for each other here. One of the hardest things for me to get used to in Chicago was feeling anonymous.”
“You went there for work?”
“Work was how I afforded to live there, but no, it was more of a quest,” she said, sounding wistful, then looked very unguarded as she admitted, “I was trying to find my birth parents.”
“Did you?” he asked, sensing by her despondent expression she hadn’t.
“No.” She sat back, gaze shadowing and lips going tight. “No, and it’s time I quit looking. I realized that when…” Her expression grew more troubled. Chagrined. “That super-fan wasn’t planning to hurt me. He thought he was in love and wanted a relationship. He felt a connection that I didn’t. As I was dealing with all of that, I realized that if my birth mother wanted a relationship with me, she’d have found a way to have one. I’m registered with every reunion agency I can find. I’ve put myself out there, literally on national television, and she hasn’t come forward. I was even part of a special segment on adult children trying to find their birth parents. We explored so many avenues and… nothing. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
Her face crumpled at the last and she hid her expression with a quarter turn into the wall and a search in her purse.
Linc reached across, grieved at how hurt she was. He squeezed her arm. “Maybe she can’t, Meg.” He didn’t want to suggest her mother was dead so he managed a lame, “Maybe she moved to another country and doesn’t know.”
“Maybe another planet? I just want to know why. But I have to let it go,” she choked out insistently, dabbing a tissue under her eyes and dragging her composure into place. “I have to let her go. Them. And I can. Now.” Her wet gaze came up to his, so defenseless and grateful his heart gave a lurch in his chest.
“Really?” he murmured, stunned that rather than resenting him for saddling her with an unplanned pregnancy, she was embracing the baby as the blood tie she’d always yearned for. “You humble me, Meg.” He was shaken to the core.
“You might want to rethink your proposal then,” she said, trying for flippant, but her voice was strained enough he knew she was trying to make a joke to get past her flood of emotion.
He shook his head, growing more certain every minute. He might have avoided the weight of family ties, but only because he felt them as strongly as she did. In his mind, the cost of family had been too high, but he was beginning to remember the return. The connection. The unconditional love.
A tripping sensation hit his insides.
He wasn’t looking for love, he reminded himself, trying to backtrack from even thinking the word. Not from Meg. He found himself looking away to hide a sudden attack of self-doubt. Getting your heart tangled up with your child’s was non-negotiable. He knew it would happen no matter how they settled the practical side of their lives, but he was highly reluctant to give up his soul to a woman. Especially one so resistant to commitment.
Still, he didn’t want her living apart from him.
“I don’t have to rethink anything. I want to marry you,” he told her with calm certainty.
It made fresh emotions chase across her face, something hopeful and sweet followed by caution and apprehension. “But there’s no mad hurry, is there? I mean, why not wait and see how we feel when—” She lowered her voice, leaning forward to mouth, “—the baby gets here?”
“Why not figure out how to live as a couple before we get a third party into the mix?” he argued.
Their meals were coming so he sat back, waiting while the plates were set and Annie had moved on before asking, “Is it the life of a rancher’s wife that worries you?”
She paused with her fork hovering over a chunk of melon. “The opposite, actually. I always resisted tying myself to a local boy because I knew I would be leaving to search for my birth parents, but I could easily have married out of high school and stayed here. I like ranch life. Blake always acted like I was doing him a huge favor, coming back to put in a garden, then canning and freezing everything, but I love it. The worst thing in the world to me is buying eggs or jam from a grocery store when you can do all that yourself and know what’s really in it.”
“Where will you get those things if you’re living here in town?” he asked. “How will you buy your groceries? I’d wind up supporting you anyway, so—”
“Hey, I’m very employable.”