The Air He Breathes (Elements, #1)(9)
“You’d do that for me?”
“We’d do anything for you. Plus, every time I go into the café, Faye says, ‘How’s my best friend? Is my best friend back yet?’ So I’m guessing she’ll want some one-on-one time with you.”
I hadn’t seen Faye since Steven had passed away. Even though we talked almost daily, she understood that I needed the space. I hoped she would understand that now I needed my best friend to make it through this new beginning.
“I know this might be a bad time to ask, but have you thought about getting your business up and running again?” Kathy asked.
Steven and I had started In & Out Design three years before. He handled the exterior of homes while I worked on the interior designs for individuals and businesses. We had a shop right in downtown Meadows Creek, and it was some of the best times of my life, but the truth of the matter was that Steven’s lawn work skills brought in most of the money for our business, along with his business degree. There would be no way for me to run things on my own. Having an interior design degree in Meadows Creek pretty much gave me the opportunity for me to work at a furniture store selling people overpriced recliners or I could go back to my college roots and work in food service.
“I don’t know. Probably not, though. Without Steven it just doesn’t seem possible. I just need to find some steady work and try to let go of that dream.”
“I understand. Don’t be afraid to start dreaming new dreams, though. You were really good at your job, Liz. And it made you happy. You should always hold onto the things that make you most happy.”
After Kathy and Lincoln decided to head home, I fumbled with the locks on my front door that Steven and I were supposed to have changed months before. With a yawn, I headed toward my bedroom and stood in the doorway. The bed was perfectly made, and I hadn’t found the strength to enter the room yet. It seemed almost like a betrayal to crawl into the bed and close my eyes without him beside me.
One breath.
One step.
I walked in and went to the closet, opening it wide. All of Steven’s clothes hung on the hangers, and my fingers brushed against them before I started shaking. Taking all of the clothes off the hangers, I tossed them on the ground, tears burning the back of my eyes. I opened his drawers and pulled out the rest of his items. Jeans, T-shirts, workout clothes, boxers. Every single article of clothing Steven owned found its way to the ground.
I lay in the pile, rolling through his slight scent, which I pretended was still there. I whispered his name, as if he could hear me, and I hugged the thought of him kissing me and holding me in his arms. The tears of my pained heart released on the sleeve of Steven’s favorite T-shirt, and I fell more and more into my sorrow. My cries were wild and thick with ache, like a creature in indescribable pain. Everything hurt. Everything was broken. As the minutes went by, I grew more and more exhausted from my own feelings. The profound tranquility of my dreadful seclusion took me away into a deep sleep.
When I opened my eyes, it was still dark outside. A beautiful little girl and her Bubba were lying beside me, with a tiny part of her blanket resting over her body, and the rest covering me. Every time a moment like this one appeared, I felt a little like my mother. I remembered taking care of her when I should’ve been a child myself. It wasn’t fair for Emma. She needs me. I snuggled in closer to her, kissed her forehead, and promised myself I wouldn’t fall apart anymore.
Chapter Four
Elizabeth
The next morning, Kathy and Lincoln showed up bright and early to pick up Emma for their weekend adventures. Right as I was about to walk out of my house, I heard pounding on my front door. Opening it, I pasted on my biggest fake smile as I stared at three women who lived on my block—three women I hadn’t missed one bit. “Marybeth, Susan, Erica, hi.”
I should’ve known it wouldn’t be long before the three most dramatic and gossipy women in town were standing on my porch. “Oh, Liz,” Marybeth gasped, pulling me into a hug. “How are you doing, darling? We heard rumors that you were coming back into town, but you know us, we hate gossip, so we had to see for ourselves.”
“I made you a meatloaf!” Erica exclaimed. “After Steven died, you left so fast that I wasn’t able to make you any comfort food, so now I was finally able to make you this meatloaf to help you mourn.”
“Thanks, ladies. I was actually just on my way out to—”
“How’s Emma handling everything?” Susan cut in. “Is she dealing? My Rachel was asking about her and wondering if they can have their play dates again, which would be great.” She paused and leaned in. “But, just to be clear, Emma’s not suffering from depression, is she? I hear that can be quite contagious with other kids.”
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I smiled. “Oh no, Emma’s good. We’re good. Everything’s good.”
“So you’ll be back at our book club meetings? Every Wednesday at Marybeth’s. The kids stay in the basement playing while we chat it up about a novel. This week we’re reading Pride and Prejudice.”
“I—” …really don’t want to go. Their eyes zoned in on me, and I knew if I said no, I would be causing myself more trouble than it was worth. Plus, it would be nice for Emma to be around other girls her age. “I’ll be there.”