The Aftermath (The Hurricane, #2)(53)
Satisfied that it wouldn’t go anywhere, I unloaded my dilemma. “I can’t let go of what happened. As long as Frank is walking around a free man, Em will never feel safe, and it’s eating me up inside when I think of what he did to her. I want to end him. I want to crush the life out of him and make him scream like he did to Em.”
“But?” Father Pat said. Honestly I expected more of a reaction when admitting to wanting to kill a man to my parish priest.
“But if I follow through with this, either I get locked up, which takes me away from Em, or I do something she won’t be able to live with. So what do you think?” I asked him.
“Romans chapter twelve, verse nineteen,” he said, placing mugs of tea in front of us both.
“Huh?”
“‘Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine,” I will repay, says the Lord.’” I laughed because I knew his answer would be along those lines.
“Doesn’t it also say ‘an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’?” I asked him.
“Ohh, I love me a good Bible debate. Custard cream?” he offered, holding out a plate.
“No, thank you,” I answered, automatically turning down anything that would have Danny smacking me over the back of my head if he could see.
“Father, I’m pretty sure I’ve never ever been in a debate with anyone. If I have a disagreement with someone, and they start winning ’cause they’re smarter me, I usually just punch them and end the argument,” I told him.
“I see. And that works with your wife, does it?” he asked me, chuckling as he dunked his fourth biscuit in his tea.
“There’s never an argument. Em’s always right. Even when she’s wrong.”
“That, my son, is why you will have a long and happy marriage.”
“There’s no right or wrong answer here, is there?” I asked.
“Of course there is, Con. You just don’t want to see it,” he replied.
“If I do nothing and he ever touches her again, I couldn’t live with myself, and I can’t live with her being afraid and always looking over her shoulder either. If I go to prison or she hates me for what I’ve done, isn’t that a price worth paying to keep her safe?”
“Cormac, there comes a time in any man’s life where he has to choose what kind of man he will be. When he reaches that line between good and evil. For some men, they cross the line a fraction then make a series of decisions that takes them farther and farther, until one day they are so far from the line they don’t even know where it is anymore. For other men, it’s one great big jump they knowingly make. One thing I do know though, is that once you cross, it’s nearly impossible to cross back.”
“But for Em, wouldn’t that jump be worth it?” I asked.
“Tell me then, and answer honestly. Would you be doing it for yourself, lad, or for your wee wife? Because I’m pretty sure the Emily O’Connell I know wouldn’t want that for you. That she’d happily have Frank Thomas alive, and all the risks that go to with his being free, if it meant she got to spend every day for the rest of her life with you. That’s how much she loves you. So when you think about it, the question is, would you give up your vengeance for a lifetime with her?”
I thought about what he said, and it occurred to me that I’d never thought about it like that before. Was I selfishly giving in to my hate instead of letting it go to be with Em? It’s what she was trying to do. Forget a lifetime of hell for a future of heaven. I had a lot to think about.
“I’d best get going. Em will be waiting for me. Thank you for the tea, Father,” I told him.
“You’re very welcome, Cormac. My door is always open.”
“Except when it’s double bolted,” I said smirking.
“Well, those little feckers round the corner thinks it’s funny to sneak in when I nip off for a cup of tea and hide the hymn books round the church.” I laughed, remembering how we used to do the same thing.
“Now go on with you and be with that pretty wife of yours. It will do you good to remember everything God’s given you, rather than focusing on what’s been taken away.” I passed him my mug, and he walked me back to the church doors.
“If you ever need to talk again Cormac, if you ever feel your temper getting the best of you, you know where I am.” I nodded in thanks, then bracing myself against the cold, put my head down and pounded the streets back to my girl, feeling a little lighter than I had in a while.
*
There was a f*cking eerie feeling in the air when I got back to the gym. Not one person was training, which was unusual because at least a few of the lads came here after school every day. Knowing something was up, I headed to the office. Danny, Earnshaw, and Liam all stood there with their arms crossed while Kieran knelt with his arm around the shoulders of my wife. Her puffy face was still red from crying and the tracks of her tears still clung to the cheeks.
Kier moved away quickly as I raced around the desk and grabbed her to me fiercely. “What happened love?” I asked her softly.
“I finished up my last class of the day. I needed to speak to one of my tutors so most of the class had already left. As I was leaving, Frank grabbed me from behind and pulled me into one of the empty classrooms. He wanted to know why I’d betrayed him and the family by pressing charges. He told me he’d missed me. He…he sniffed my hair and pushed his thigh between my legs when he shoved me against the wall. I froze. I just stood there and couldn’t move. Why couldn’t I move?” Em asked me. Fear had paralyzed her. Trying to control my blind f*cking fury paralyzed me.