That One Moment (Lost in London #2)(53)

“No. Our conversation was painful, horrid, awful…crap.” I shrug helplessly. “I fell in love with her. It’s that simple. And she was in love with Liam. And Theo was in love with Leslie, and it just seemed like everybody around me was getting on with their lives except me.”

Vi nods thoughtfully. “How are you with Rey now?” Her blue eyes watch me with a deep sympathy that I feel in my heart.

“Doc labels Rey as a trigger for me. He says it’s best not to engage with her any more than casual acquaintances.” I pause for a moment before I admit, “I have actually revealed more personal information to you in one week than I ever did in three years of friendship with Rey.”

Vi inhales sharply. “How is that possible, Hayden?”

I shake my head. “Rey was a huge part of my life for so many years. But it was mostly our grief that maintained our friendship. Not our true selves.”

“I’m so sorry, Hayden.”

“That’s why I have to protect myself, Vi. From alcohol, from pills, from depression…”

“From me?” she finishes my sentence.

I shake my head earnestly as I reach out and take her hand in mine, twining our fingers together. I note the difference in skin tones, from her creamy complexion to my olive tone, and silently marvel at this simple gesture. Feeling her soft hand in mine is a sense of life I might never have experienced. “I don’t want to protect myself from you,” I whisper in answer to her question. “But caring for someone more than myself terrifies me. I can’t slip back into the darkness, Vi. There are too many people here that I want to live for. Marisa, my family…you.”

She looks up through her low, dark lashes. “But we’ve just met.”

“I know, but I feel something in my body when I’m around you that I have never felt in all my life, Vi. I want to dive in with you and figure it out. I want us to be something. But I don’t want to fall into another Reyna situation where I use you as a crutch. You’ve heard my countdown. I’ve completed my challenge. I don’t want to be seen as damaged anymore.”

“I don’t see you that way!” she exclaims and stands up. She moves over to me and pushes me back in my chair, straddling me so I can look straight into her ocean blue eyes. “I don’t think you’re damaged. I think you’re beautiful.”

I smile—genuinely smile—for what feels like the first time in years. “I think that’s my new favourite thing about you. Mostly because it’s all about me.”

She laughs and swats me across the chest while mumbling something about me being a narcissist.

I grab her hand before she can move off of me and stare deeply into her eyes. “My list of favourite things about you grows every time I’m with you.”

Her head tilts to the side and she looks at me thoughtfully. “But what about your plant? And your dog?” Anxiety fleets over her face.

“Maybe I can just help you with yours.”

She smiles at that. A soft, sexy, secretive smile. The kind of smile where she’s not celebrating a win, but encouraging the removal of a loss. Her cheeks flush a rose hue that makes her look like she’s just returned from a jog. I can’t contain myself another second. I pull her lips to mine and push all of my feeling into this one simple act. All the feelings I’ve been hiding from the world. All the secrets. All the pain. All the loss…and I let it go.

And I realise with delirious happiness, that kissing Vi is different…Every. Single. Time.





FIRST DATE


Time ceases to exist with Hayden Clarke. I look at the calendar and can see that two weeks have passed since that day on the balcony when we agreed to be…well, something, as opposed to nothing. But each moment with him feels like nothing and everything at the same time. When Hayden left my flat that Sunday, there was a small part of me that feared, as soon as he walked out of my door, he’d change his mind about wanting to give us a try. It seemed like it was hard for him to leave, though. We ended up talking by my lift door for nearly an hour, like horny teenagers who couldn’t decide which one would say goodbye first on the phone.

“Are you close to your brothers?” he asked, his eyes scanning my neck as he dropped soft kisses on my shoulders in a way that made it difficult for me to form a coherent thought.

“You’re going to make me late for Sunday dinner at my dad’s with them if you don’t leave soon,” I chastised, grinning playfully while he held me in the foyer.

“I want to know. I have to know…before I go.” The lift door closed for the third time due to inactivity, and I sank into his embrace in silent surrender.

“Yes. Annoyingly so.”

“Still? Even after you’ve moved out?” His grey eyes watched me curiously.

I nodded, “Yes, well, like I said, I still see them every Sunday. Not to mention they like to pop over here whenever they feel like being little sods.”

He chuckled softly. “Do you have a favourite?”

I squinted as I considered his question. “Not really a favourite. Rather I appreciate them all for different reasons. I like Booker when I need someone to confide in. I like Cam and Tanner when I’m looking for a fun laugh, and I like Gareth when I need help.”

“What do you mean…help?”