Ten Days of Perfect (November Blue #1)(39)

“Ah, come on, that’s not at all how it was. I happened to have a connection that DROP wanted me to explore.” He gave a sly shrug. Smug indeed.

“You had no connection, you pompous ass,” I laughed through the truth.

“Truth be told, I was only hoping that you still worked for The Hope Foundation when I presented the suggestion. You’re the only girl I know who doesn’t have Facebook, so internet stalking was out of the question. I couldn’t ask Monica so I had to go the old fashion route.” He winked, and the bottom of my stomach fell again.

Josh brought us some beer, on the house. He was still trying to smooth things over with me in regards to Monica, even though it had only been two days since he smeared her heart all over her apartment. I thanked him dismissively and turned back to Adrian.

“What’s your problem with the bartender?” Adrian’s delivery was innocent.

“Josh? He’s one of the managers here. He was Monica’s boyfriend, until Tuesday night; it’s weird territory at the moment.” I shrugged honestly.

“How is Monica? I half expected her to show up with you tonight.”

“She didn’t want to be around Josh, obviously. You’ll probably see her at some point this weekend. We’ll likely be here tomorrow and Saturday; there’s live music here Saturday.” I sensed I was beginning to ramble, so I took an indulgent sip of my beer.

“Yea, Cavanaugh’s playing here Saturday, right?”

I spit some of my beer back in to my glass. “Uh, I guess so, he played here last weekend. He uses ‘Bo’ for music, though.” I shrugged impassively. Confident, nonchalant honesty, Ember. Don’t show your whole hand just yet.

“Yea, that’s right. Is he any good?” His tone was unreadable; my palms began to sweat a little.

He’s amazing, his soul is deeper than any ocean. I’m fairly certain angel’s weep at the sound of his voice , and sing his songs to those who are in pain.

“He’s really good. He knows his stuff, that’s for sure.” My palms broke into a full sweat. “Hey, let’s go sit outside.” Fresh air.

Adrian grabbed two more beers from Josh before holding the door for me, guiding me outside with his hand on my lower back. His touch didn’t send electric shockwaves of passion through my body, but it didn’t feel horrible either - which was a bit disconcerting. I’d hoped it would bother me, to have Adrian touch me. It didn’t. It was grounding somehow - familiar.

“Um, let’s walk a little.” I was too unnerved to sit.

An air of familiarity walked us down the beach. I didn’t feel like the emotionally wounded twenty-one year old who wouldn’t allow him to love her because she was scared. I shared a couple of good years with Adrian, and it was actually refreshing to see him. My heart, however, sat with a man named Bo, who had decided that Adrian was a smug bastard. The thought made me chuckle out loud.

“What?” Adrian responded.

“Nothing. Just this.” I motioned between the two of us. “Here we are, walking on the beach in Cape Cod, potential business associates. How are you Adrian? Are you happy?”

Adrian shrugged, “I’m happy. I have a great job, I get to work with a lot of great people and agencies, and I live mostly in Boston.” This is news.

“Boston?”

“Yea, I travel a lot between the different agencies I help represent. Not a bad life having to travel all over New England, if you ask me.” His tone sounded melancholy.

“What about your girlfriend? Does she mind all the travel?” I looked up at him expectantly. Please tell me you have a girlfriend.

“Nah, no girlfriend for me, Ember.” He turned to the ocean and sat in the sand.

Crap.

“You OK?” I carefully positioned myself next to Adrian in the sand, intentionally avoiding physical contact.

“Ember . . .” His voice was tight.

Shit.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I immediately realized I was echoing his words from our last serious conversation. I couldn’t be cold with Adrian. He’d given me no reason to.

“Ah, man.” He was wringing his hands tightly. “I’m just, uh, I just want to say I’m sorry.” He reached out and rubbed my knee for a second before clasping his hands back together.

He turned toward me with clouded eyes, biting his lower lip.

“Adrian, what could you possibly be sorry for?” I had an idea, but my pulse raced. My pulse had always raced around Adrian.

“I know it was a long time ago, but I shouldn’t have done that to you - told you I loved you because I was scared to lose you. I lost you anyway, and we were both hurt. You told me to stop, you said I didn’t love you, but it was all I had left to try to hold on to you.”

“Adrian.” I stopped him. I’d heard enough. “We were too young, that’s all. I got scared. I knew how I felt for you and it was unfair; you weren’t looking for a relationship.” My memory winced against the pain.

“Ember, I loved you even before we had sex for the first time, but I was too chickenshit to admit it.” This is also news.

“Adrian, it’s in the past, OK? No need to drudge it up.” I stood and brushed the sand from my body. The charge that I thought didn’t exist between us threatened in the distance.