Tell Me You Want Me (Search and Seduce, #2)(40)

And then he hadn’t called. Despite him needing his hours. Despite his stated commitment to helping her cross off everything on her list. He’d left her alone.

So she’d busied herself at her boutique. Today had been busy. Very busy. Which was good. She needed the revenue. But a part of her worried it was already too late. She’d known things were shaky, but looking over the finances again, even with the good sales today, she was in bad shape. She would have to figure out something fast. Or else.

She just wished she could stop thinking of Dex. Now that she was at home and the night was getting darker, she was sitting with a glass of wine, staring at her phone, wondering what he was doing. Not that she cared. She was just…thinking too much.

“This is ridiculous,” she told herself and tossed her phone on her couch. Then immediately picked it back up. Had she heard it ping with a text? Nope, now she was hearing things. Or just wishing for things.

She needed to get out of this funk. Because life without Dex seemed…bland. She hadn’t realized that somewhere along the way, she’d come to enjoy his challenges and spending time with him. Worse, she’d come to need that time with him. She got a thrill when she succeeded at every challenge he put before her. It was like a drug. But all it had taken was her looking at her business’s finances to remind her that she wasn’t doing nearly as well as she needed. Not by a long shot.

What was she supposed to do? Hang out with Dex and ignore everything else while her life fell apart? Worse, find that she only felt confident and independent when he was around?

No. She couldn’t. That was the whole reason she’d come out here. The whole reason she’d first hooked up with Dex. She needed to know she could do this on her own.

She paced, looking at her phone and taking another long swallow of wine. She and Dex weren’t meant to be long-term anything. And clearly he wasn’t thinking of her, or he’d have reached out.

She needed to talk to someone, though, and she needed to stop thinking of Dex. So she dialed Natalie.

“Hey,” Natalie’s happy voice came through the phone. “What are you up to?”

“Oh, just got home from the shop.”

“So you’re staring at your phone waiting for Dex?”

“No,” Michelle said quickly. She knew it was crazy, but she looked around to see if somehow Natalie was spying on her. “I’m not waiting for Dex.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Besides, that would be stupid. If he wanted me, he’d call.”

“That’s not true,” Natalie said quickly. “Dex is a guy. Which means he’s inherently stupid sometimes.”

“Dex goes for what he wants,” Michelle defended.

“So do you, and look at what you’re doing. Sitting around, waiting for your phone to ring instead of going after what you want.”

She had a point. But wanting Dex wasn’t the problem. It was the rest of it. The rules and goals of their arrangement. Getting feelings confused into the mix was bad. She liked him, fine. But it didn’t mean she had to be stupid about it.

“You started down this path to gain some independence, right? Some adventure?” Natalie asked.

“Yes, and I am.”

“Great, then keep doing it. If you want to talk to Dex, then do it. If not, then don’t. But don’t wait. Don’t waste your time trying to be something you’re not or trying to not be something you are. It’s simple really. If you want it, go get it.”

Natalie’s advice oddly made her feel better about this. The worst thing Dex could say was no. Well, he could tell her to f*ck off. But she wanted to be the bold woman that didn’t let a fear of failure keep her from going after what she wanted, and that meant putting herself out there. Maybe they could at least be friends? Yeah, right. Could she ever just be friends with Dex without wanting to rip his clothes off, desperate to feel his skin against hers?

So no matter what, this was probably a disaster waiting to happen. That was freeing in its own way.

“Thanks, Nat, you’re a good friend.”

“And wise. Don’t forget wise.”

Michelle laughed. She hung up and texted Dex before she lost her nerve. Yes, things had changed after meeting his mother, but one thing that hadn’t changed was how much she desired him. So she’d own her desire. How much she craved him. And she’d prove her power over her desire first by giving in to it, then by telling Dex good-bye. They had little time left, and if Natalie was right, she wasn’t going to waste it staring at her phone.



Dex checked the fifth harness of the night and set it on the table once it passed inspection. He was with his crew for propelling practice and equipment inventory. Scaling cliffs was part of the SAR job sometimes, and it was smart to make sure the equipment was up to code. Then of course they had to “practice” hoisting up a mock victim and tonight the role was on Gage.

Dex swore the guy just loved making all of them lift his heavy ass to make sure they still had the muscle to do it.

He was receiving the training today, not the students, which unfortunately meant it didn’t count toward Dex’s requirement to “finish training a novice.”

Michelle. He couldn’t get her out of his mind. He’d gotten all the feedback he needed from his mother. Not to mention, when Michelle admitted what her lifestyle was like before coming here, he’d realized exactly that kind of woman she’d been raised to be. Maybe what kind of woman she still was. Except she said she wanted to break free from that.