Tell Me You Crave Me (Search and Seduce #3)(43)

“Thank you,” she said with a smile. When she moved to get out of his bed, panic washed over him. Like he didn’t want her to leave, not the moment and not him. Like he might never see her again…

A flash of the last time he’d seen his mother hit him hard and fast. Once she left, there was no getting her back.

He shook his head. Where the hell had that come from?

He didn’t know, but the heat of fear spread across his chest, and he held up his hand to stop her.

“Wait. You have to help me,” he said.

She settled back in his bed, still sitting up and facing him. “What do you need?”

“I need…” I need you. To stay. To just wait until this awful sense of abandonment leaves. He sure as shit wasn’t saying that. But he could say part of the truth, which was that he wanted her to stay. “Just sit there. Listen.”

“Okay,” she said slowly.

He came to the foot of the bed, and then it hit him—the excuse he’d been looking for.

“I have to practice my best man speech.”

“Oh!” she said, as if that made sense. “Well, I’m happy to be your audience. You know what they say if you’re nervous. Picture the audience in their underwear.” She glanced down the front of herself and held out her hands. “So I guess I’m kind of perfect.”

You have no idea.

“Yep,” East agreed and moved his palms together as if warming them, slowly pacing and trying to think of what the hell he would say in his speech. “So, I guess I’ll just start…”

She nodded, attentive, her back straightening.

“Ah, welcome everyone. Matt and Bridget just got married.” He paced some more. “Love is nice and when you fall in love…you get married…” He chanced a glance at Natalie, who wore an expression like she was witnessing a slow-moving car crash.

“That bad?” he asked.

“Well…I think it’s a great start,” she said encouragingly. It was funny—he was used to the sassy Natalie, but this side of her was new to him. And he liked it. “Maybe instead of stating facts, trying speaking from the heart a bit more.”

He gave her a knowing look. “You’ve met me, right? What the hell am I supposed to say about this shit?”

She laughed. “I do know you. And I think you’re a softy, remember?”

He waved his hand again, showing her his calloused palm but she just psshed at him.

“Tap into something you can relate to,” she suggested. “You don’t have to be sappy and talk about things you don’t want to, or about the act of marriage or anything. But try to pair what you can to the situation. How you feel and how it ties to the occasion.”

He nodded. That was good advice. It was enough to stop his pacing. He stared at her fresh face and kind eyes and said the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m a search and rescue medic, so I know all about risk. No one makes the active choice to risk anything. Why would you want to give up something you enjoy? But when the right something—someone—comes along, enjoyable isn’t worth the risk of losing the amazing. So I don’t think love is about risk. It’s choosing to trade in basic for incredible. It’s about upgrading. Even if it means losing what you once thought was worth it. That is, if you’re not too scared to take the leap.”

East had no idea if what he’d just said was gibberish, or even made sense, but he watched Natalie’s delicate throat as she swallowed hard. She took a deep breath, then another.

“That’s great,” she said, and had to clear her throat. “Of course, then mention Matt and Bridget.”

“Right,” East agreed and glanced at the floor. “Mention them, then salute.”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I think you’ve got it.”

Her sweet smile was interrupted by the ding of her cell phone. She reached for it and read something on the screen, then she looked up at East.

“I, uh, I have to get going.”

He glanced at the clock and realized she had plans still. “Yeah, your date is soon.”

She glanced at her phone. “Yeah.”

“Well.” He clapped his hands together and smiled, but it felt like his chest just had a metric ton of gravel dumped on it. “Thanks for your help.”

She got off his bed, and the moment her feet hit the floor, he knew, he was losing something—someone—he couldn’t hang on to.

“Anytime,” she said.





Chapter Twelve


Family dinner was nothing new. Ever since they’d all moved out, Natalie’s mother still insisted that once a month all the kids have dinner at the St. Clair home. Matt had been in Connecticut the last several months, but she and Easton always made it. It felt like old times with her and East and her mom around the family table.

Well, like old times except that when she took her seat across from East, she was now looking at someone she’d seen naked.

Yeah…that was different.

Not bad. Not good. Well, it was good in some ways. Seeing East naked was better than good. But it was not good that she kept thinking of that, causing her heart to race and her palms to sweat while he was sitting right there and her family was around.

She adjusted in her seat and chanced a glance at him.