Tell Me You Crave Me (Search and Seduce #3)(37)

It was a swing. Back and forth, never changing, nowhere to go.

Have sex, say “never again,” then have sex, then “never again.”

On and on.

Still, Natalie wanted to talk to someone so much. Because, while she knew all the reasons why what she and East were doing was a mistake, she kept going back. And what was worse, every time she gave in, she felt more deeply. And to go from being in his arms and his bed—apparently a place no other woman had been—only to then be in his closet, felt…bad.

Like that tight-in-the-chest, sore-in-the-brain, ache-in-her-stomach kind of bad.

“Yeah,” Michelle said, and Natalie realized she hadn’t answered her friend’s original question. “Those are definitely date-type panties you’re looking at.”

“Something like that.” Natalie glanced at the garter belt and absently ran her finger along the silk. Michelle came to stand by her.

“I know it’s hard,” Michelle said, her voice soft. “Dating, men, expectations from others…it’s just hard. But some things you don’t have to hide. If you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here.”

Natalie glanced at her friend with a grateful smile, but then her words sank in. Did Michelle know about her secret relationship—or whatever it was—with East? Or was she being paranoid?

“What would I want to talk about?” Natalie asked with her best casual voice, probing to see if Michelle alluded to knowing her secret.

“Anything,” she said. “I do have expertise in dating the bad boy, you know.” She winked. “But seriously, sometimes secrets are hard to carry on your own. I just want you happy, and I’m here for you. That’s all.”

Crap…she’d said the word “secret.” Maybe she did know?

No, there was no way. East wouldn’t tell her, and Natalie hadn’t even mentioned him to anyone except in the same way she always had: with annoyance.

Whether Michelle knew about her personal life or not, she did know about what it felt like to fight for yourself against expectations. And Natalie must have been wearing her emotions on her face, because Michelle gave her a hug. Maybe she should confide in her friend. Discreetly, of course.

“Thank you,” Natalie said. “You ever feel like you’re trying to find something and just can’t quite get your hands on it?”

Michelle nodded. “I think you’re trying to find yourself and I think you’re doing great. You’ve really put yourself out there these past couple weeks. Whatever is helping you gain the confidence I’ve seen come out in you, keep it up. Because you deserve to feel that self assurance.”

Natalie thought of East, how he looked at her and how he made her feel seen. She loved that—like butterflies fluttered beneath her skin.

Then I go into the closet.

She shook that notion off. Michelle was right. She needed to stick to her plan to find herself and what she wanted. And she needed to survive the wedding and get her mother off her back.

“You know, even wearing something like this under your clothes can make a woman feel sexier. You don’t have to even show it. Just knowing you’re wearing it provides that hidden sense of confidence,” Michelle said as she gestured to the red lace set.

Natalie could see the point in that. Besides, she needed to feel sexy.

She’d gotten a different glimpse of East the other night. She’d seen past the smart attitude and right to the soul of him, and it connected to her on a level she hadn’t been ready for. While she’d known him most of her life, she was learning that there was a special side of himself he kept hidden, and she really wanted to see more of it.

“I think I’ll get these,” Natalie said.

“Great!” Michelle said and picked up the set. “And you know what, consider this a gift.”

“No,” Natalie protested. “I’m going to pay you.”

“Not a chance,” Michelle said. She walked toward the register and started wrapping up the lingerie. She was effortlessly graceful and beautiful. Natalie didn’t want to know what kind of lingerie that girl was always rocking. But she had a feeling she rocked it regularly.

“So…” Michelle asked as she finished wrapping. “Who is it tonight?”

Natalie raised a brow when she realized what Michelle was asking. “Oh, from the profile. Ah…I think his name is Will. He’s from Charlotte.”

“Oh,” Michelle said with a wink as she folded the red panties in tissue paper. “Well, it’ll be a good night, then.”

Yeah, too bad all Natalie could think about was a certain search and rescue medic.

She glanced around. “Why does it feel slow in here today?” she asked Michelle. Normally, there were at least a handful of women browsing. Michelle had struggled with her business the first few months after she’d moved here, but had really come into her own the past year, and there was always a crowd at her shop.

“I don’t know where everyone is today. Just quiet I guess.”

Natalie nodded. “So, you getting excited for Matt’s wedding?”

Michelle nodded. “I love meeting new people, and Dex cleans up real nice, so I’m looking forward to that. Although, I gotta say, I like the dirty thing he has going on, too.”

Natalie just laughed. Michelle was so ridiculously in love, and it was great. She was happy for her friends. Part of her wanted that—to be so crazy about someone you couldn’t see straight. East just made her crazy, and the only reason she couldn’t see straight was because her glasses came off when they were having sex. Not exactly the same thing.