Tell Me You Crave Me (Search and Seduce #3)(29)

Honestly, he hadn’t much. And it had little to do with the fact that he’d spent a couple hours cursing himself and trying to frost mini cakes the way Natalie would, hoping to hell he was doing an okay job and wondering if she’d hand his ass to him at some point for f*cking up.

Because ironically, he really didn’t want to f*ck up. Not the cupcakes. Not the way he’d been f*cking up lately in a lot of other ways.

At this point, though, sleep was a luxury because every damn time he tried, he saw Natalie’s face and felt her mouth and Jesus…it was a nightmare.

That woman really was a pain in his ass. And he just kept getting in deeper with his lie to his friend. Which was why he’d shifted his goal of staying away from Natalie to staying away from Matt. Maybe if he didn’t have to look him in the eye to lie about sleeping with his sister it’d make it easier. Sure, it didn’t make him less of a prick. But easier. Maybe.

So why did he still feel like…what had Dex just said? A pile of ass?

“You excited for tomorrow? I hear the party is going to be awesome,” Dex said.

Ah yes, the joint bachelor-bachelorette party. Something East hadn’t really helped with at all since it had been taken out of his hands. And apparently Dex had drunk the Kool-Aid, too, about it being “awesome.”

Whatever. Matt could have the party Bridget wanted. At this point, the only part that bummed out East was the fact that he couldn’t seem to get away from either St. Clair sibling. And tomorrow at the party? Avoiding either one of them would be plain impossible.

“So you like this idea of it being joint, too, huh?” East asked Dex. He set his bag down and took a seat behind his desk. Normally, they were both in the field, but things had been slow lately, since it was turning into fall. Which was nice that people weren’t going missing, but it made for some slow days at the office.

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it. Now I get to bring Michelle, and she’s wearing this sexy little dress that has no straps and—”

East held up his hand. “I do not need to know about dresses.” He still couldn’t figure out how his best friends were this smitten. Yeah, the women they were with were awesome, but how did that translate? Was East incapable of that level of monogamy and just didn’t get it? Maybe he never would.

“Jesus,” East muttered.

“What?” Dex said.

“I just think I’ll puke if one more of my friends talks about how this joint thing is a good idea.”

“You’re just pissed because you don’t have a bestie.”

“What the hell is a bestie?”

“You know, a best friend.”

“I have friends!” East said defensively. “My friends are you and Matt and—hell, even Gage was climbing the ladder.”

“No, man, this is on a different level. Being best friends with your partner in life.”

“I don’t get it. Don’t you wanna have guy time?” East asked.

“For what? To drink beer and bullshit and count the hours until I get to go home to my hot fiancée?”

“Ah, yeah!” East argued. “Because drinking and bullshitting is fun.”

“It can be,” Dex said. “But I guess I just like being around Michelle. I’d always rather have her as a part of my world than not.”

“What about couples needing space?” East shot back.

“We have space. I’m not with her now, and it sucks. But it makes it good for when I see her in the evenings.”

“I just don’t get it,” East mumbled.

“That’s because you haven’t found a woman you enjoy. A woman you’d go back to twice. A woman that has stuck around for you.”

That made East’s head snap up. Mostly the last part. Women never stuck around for him, either. He always made damn sure of that. If you got them to leave first, then they couldn’t leave you by surprise, like his mother had. She’d had something better to chase—a drug high.

Ironic, since right now the only time East felt high was when he was near Natalie. But if anything, he was her closeted secret. And she was his quick fix. But for a brief moment, he understood chasing the high. Then he realized that maybe it was all he was. He was good enough for a woman to chase, but not good enough to stick around and make a claim. Just like he’d never, ever, trust a woman with his heart.

That got broken a long time when his mom had cared less about him, and her own health, than getting that fix.

And now I’m into mommy issues overload.

Which was why he didn’t think about this shit.

He just wanted to protect Natalie and make sure she was all right. And based on this affinity she had for dating losers who didn’t see what was right in-f*cking-front of them, he had his work cut out for him.

Or…he just wanted to interfere before she went home with anyone else.

No, no, he cared. Natalie was the one girl he cared about despite her pain-in-the-ass tendencies, because she was better than everyone else. Better than him. But she was also his best friend’s little sister. Talk about “bestie” problems.

Anger rose, and he tried to tamp it down, tried to focus on something else, but Dex’s earlier words only ran on repeat in his mind. East never went back to the same woman more than once. Not that he was trying to be a dick, he just didn’t really enjoy their company on that level.