Teaching Aleck (The Last Hangman MC #2)(27)
He sighs. “I’m sorry, I don’t like the guy.”
“Oh, come on now! We’ve been friends for years, nothing ever happened between us. So stop being jealous. It’s more annoying than endearing.” I roll my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Love, I just don’t want him to come between us. I love you.”
“He’s not, so stop stressing out.”
“You’re still not able to say it back.”
“I’m sorry, I like you a lot, but it takes me more time to say it.” I shrug. I feel like the roles are reversed and I’m the one not wanting a relationship. This is awkward. I like Brian, but I’m not in love with him. I can’t force myself to fall in love with him.
“It’s okay, I’ll be patient.” He smiles and squeezes my hand. Please dump me!
“Thanks for understanding.” I smile softly.
“It’s normal.” We spend the rest of the drive home in silence, listening to the radio. I’m glad we live close to everything here.
“Be safe during your shift.” I smile before I get out of the car, but he stops me.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” He grins at me.
“Uh, what?” I look at him confused.
“This.” He tugs on my arm, bringing me closer to him and kisses me passionately. I kiss him back, not really into the kiss, but I don’t want him to notice it. I feel so bad right now. “Much better. If you need anything call me, okay?”
“I will. Have a good shift.” I smile and walk to my door, unlocking it. I wave at him before he drives away.
I hate this situation I got myself in. On one hand, I have Brian who’s my loving and caring boyfriend, who’s been nothing but the perfect gentleman for months now, but I can’t seem to fall in love with; and on the other hand, I have Aleck, total bad boy who’s been sent out to torture me since the first day we met. He’s afraid of commitment and didn’t used to want relationships and now he does. Way to confuse the hell out of me.
Logic tells me I should be with Brian, that he’s the perfect guy with a great job, he’s emotionally and financially stable, but our relationship is lacking passion. Then there’s Aleck, he’s everything I shouldn’t want, but he is everything I need. He’s been into illegal stuff for years, probably hurt or even killed a few people; he f*cks anything with tits and ass, and is so emotionally damaged. I have no idea if he even has a regular job, but when Aleck and I are in the same room, it’s electric, there’s so much tension in the room that you could cut it with a knife.
I need to make up my mind and figure out whom to choose. Maybe I should just say f*ck it to both of them and be on my own. That’d be a lot less complicated. How I miss those days where boy problems were me trying to stay as far away from them as possible because they had cooties…
******
June 16, 2014
Only two months until the beginning of the school year. I’m starting my first full year as a preschool teacher and I’m so nervous. I don’t remember being this nervous about anything. I love kids. I love being around them. It’s not my first time working with kids, but I just can’t help being nervous. If this school year goes well, they are going to hire me permanently which is pretty freaking awesome. Well, it will be if I last the school year without messing up.
Everything is ready for me to start, yes, I’m that kind of teacher that has everything ready months in advance just to be sure. I need a vacation away from everything. I still haven’t plucked up the courage to end things with Brian, and Aleck has been MIA, yet again. I think they had some club business to attend to, so it doesn’t surprise me, but I still miss him.
I still feel really bad, like I’m cheating on Brian, even though nothing has happened between Aleck and I. We only talked once, in the hospital, but with the amount of times Aleck is popping into my mind during the day and then those dreams I’ve been having at night of Aleck, yep I’m feeling guilty.
Brian has been rather busy with work too. He’s been on the night shift for a few days now, so he’s been sleeping during the day.
My grandparents have a ranch in Lockport, I’m heading there to spend two weeks to help them and enjoy some time away from the city and everything. I need to be in a familiar environment before I go totally crazy. I love my grandparents. They are total hippies and make everything on their own. They are probably more active than me, and have a better social life than I do!
It’s only an hour away, but I wanted to drive there early and watch the sun rise, it’s so beautiful and peaceful. I packed a weekend bag and grabbed a travel mug full of coffee and sugar before setting off.
I usually listen to music rather loudly when I’m driving, but not today. I want total peace. I have the windows and the top of my VW Beetle convertible down and enjoying my hair blowing in the wind. I feel so free. It’s been such a long time.
Midway through my journey, I notice three bikers following me. Well I’m not sure they are following me really, but it’s quite unnerving. I have no idea what to do.
Ever since the incident the day of the BBQ, I’ve been seeing bikers watching me wherever I go. I never told anyone. I mean they could just be driving through town. Maybe I should have. I take the next exit and they follow.
I’m really starting to get nervous, especially when they start speeding and catch up to me. They stay behind me at all times so I can’t see their cut, but I doubt they are from the Last Hangman. I need to be sure though. I close the top of the car and press a couple of buttons on the console to call Aleck.