Tall, Tatted and Tempting(46)

“Don’t know. I go back in two weeks and they’ll tell me if the chemo worked.”

I nod. What can you say to that? Hope it’s good news. Hope you’re going to live. Oh, you’re going to be just fine. None of those seem appropriate.

He turns so that his knee is facing me, his arm lying along the back of the bench. “I’ve been trying to plan. For when I’m gone.”

Shoot. What should I say to that? “That’s smart.” I’m an idiot.

“I have letters for all my brothers. I already wrote them.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing all day?”

He nods, playing with the piece of grass, rolling it between his fingers.

“They’ll appreciate them if anything ever happens to you.”

“When something happens to me,” he says, correcting me. “It’s just a matter of how long I have at this point, I think. I can feel it.”

I cover my hand with his on the back of the bench, and give it a squeeze. “Is there anything at all I can do for you? Anything to help you plan?”

He looks at me, hard. His green eyes bore into mine. “If you’re still around when it’s time, can I give you the letters? To share with them when I’m gone?”

“I’ll still be around,” I say. I’m not going anywhere. Not any time soon. “And yes, I can take your letters. Just tell me how and when you want them delivered.”

He nods. “I have one for this girl, too. April is her name. Logan will be able to find her. But he won’t give her a letter from me. He sort of hates her.”

“She probably deserves it,” I mumble.

He chuckles. “You don’t get to pick who you fall in love with.” He sits silent for a minute. Then he says, “Don’t let them put me on the mantel or anything,” he says. “I f*cking hate the idea of being stuffed in an urn.”

“What would you want them to do with your ashes, if they could?” I kick at a rock that’s near my toe.

“I don’t give a f*ck, as long as I’m not stuck on the mantelpiece.” He chuckles.

“Don’t give up yet, all right?” I ask.

He nods. “I’m fighting ‘til the day I die. But there are things I need to plan for.”

I nod. I understand.

Logan walks over and stands in front of me. He signs something. The only sign I recognize is the word girl.

“No, I’m not putting the moves on your girl,” Matt complains. Then he laughs. “She’s putting the moves on me.”

Logan turns to me, his mouth hanging open wide. But his eyes dance with laughter. He pulls on my hands until I stand up. Then he bends and tosses me over his shoulder and spins in a circle. I scream, covering my eyes. I know he won’t drop me, but still.

He runs around, and Sam and Pete chase us. Pete -- or Sam – I still can’t tell them apart – slaps my butt. I flail around, trying to reach out and grab him, but Logan is running with me over his shoulder. He spins, holding tightly to my legs. I cover my eyes and squeal, but I know he can’t hear me.

I hit Logan on the butt, but he pays me no mind. Suddenly, he stops and starts to lower me down his body. I slide down him slowly, my body contours rubbing against his until my feet hit the ground. “Hi,” he says quietly. He signs it, too, but his free arm is around me holding me against him.

“Hi,” I say, and I sign it just like he did. Then I smack his chest. “I can’t believe you did that.” I turn and motion toward Sam. “Throw me the ball,” I say. Sam looks at me like I’m nuts, so I say, “What? Are you afraid to play with a girl?”

He smiles and hurls the ball at me. I take off running with it cradled in my arm. Logan runs after me, but I’m faster than any of them expected. Just before I reach the bench Matt’s sitting on, Logan snakes an arm around my waist, swinging me around. While he holds me tightly, Sam wrestles the ball from me. “That’s cheating!” I scream.

“Cheating is allowed!” Sam yells back.

“In whose rule book?” I ask, stamping my foot.

“What rule book?” Matt says with a chuckle. He hefts himself to his feet. “Me and you against them?” he says. He grins at me.

“We can take them any day,” I say, throwing my arms around him. He squeezes me gently and sets me away from him. He rubs my head, messing my hair all up.

Logan runs down the field, and I chase him. He turns to catch the ball Sam throws, and as soon as he has it, I tackle him. I hit him as hard as I can. He stumbles with me holding on to his shirt, until I can wrap around his legs. He goes down like a big oak tree falling. He lies on his stomach, but he’s smiling at me. I climb on his back and sit on him, plucking the ball from his grip. I hold it in the air and cheer, flailing my feet wildly. He lets me sit there on top of him for a minute as his breath heaves in and out under me. But then he upends me. He rolls me under him. “You cheated.” He says. His hands hold my wrists in a strong grip.

“There’s no rule book, remember?” I giggle when he tickles beneath my ribs. “Stop!” I cry.

He looks into my eyes. “I think I might be falling in love with you,” he says softly.

My breath catches. “Yeah, me too,” I say.

He smiles and gets to his feet, tugging me up beside him. His face is flushed, and he’s grinning.