Take (Need #2)(17)

Rage immobilizes me.

And curiosity. Sick, sick curiosity.

I know Kira told me she wasn’t hurt about Austin sleeping with Jenn, but I can’t help but wonder.

“You told me what you have to say,” Kira tells him. “And I told you I don’t want to hear it.”

They’re in the living room, I can tell now. It’s wrong for me to stand here and eavesdrop.

Not that I make any move to make my presence known.

“You don’t want to hear it because you’re angry, and I hurt you, and I’m so f*cking sorry—”

Kira interrupts him. “You said it all the last time you were here trying to explain.”

That piece of shit came to grovel to her?

Of course he f*cking did.

“You promised me, Kira. You promised you would think about you and me, about being my girl.”

Fucker said what?

“I did think about it, Austin.”

I can almost feel the ground start shaking beneath my feet with the force of my rage.

This . . . I did this to her. Made Amanda my girl. Shoved her in Kira’s face, knowing it would slice her apart.

I deserve this.

I deserve this.

I. Fucking. Deserve. This.

A thousand times I repeat it to myself.

My fury continues to clash with my pain, and regardless of the fact that I understand the situation logically, I can’t stop from asking myself:

Kira agreed to think about being his girl?

He slept with Jenn, and yet she’ll forgive him that easily?

Austin only hurt her once.

I hate myself because I’ve done it way too many times.

“And what, Kira? . . . talk to me,” Austin begs.

“Every time I thought about it, all I imagined was you with Jennifer.”

Austin blows out a breath, silent for a few seconds. “Sometimes, Kira, all I imagine is you with Brayden.”

He knows about us. Really knows.

Son of a bitch knows, and he doesn’t give a f*ck. He’s still determined to have her.

“I never f*cked Brayden. I gave myself to you, Austin.”

The hurt in her voice slices through me.

There’s only so much pain I can take. Yes, I know I’m a hypocrite, that I should just stand here and take every hit like a f*cking man, but I f*cking can’t.

I head to the living room.

“Tell me the truth,” Austin says. “Were you thinking about him when we slept together?”

There’s nothing but silence from Kira.

Come on, Kitty. Answer him, and answer him right. Save his f*cking ass from my fists f*cking up his face.

“I’m sorry, Austin, but I don’t want to keep rehashing this with you. I’m going to tell you what I’ve told Brayden many times: if you truly cared about me, you never would have done it.”

I come to a halt at the entrance to the living room, reeling.

She’s comparing us to each other?

The look on Austin’s face tells me he feels as disgusted by that as I do.

Kira crosses her arms and stares him down. “At the end of the day, there’s a reason why you were both such close friends once.”

Don’t say that, Kira. Don’t even go there . . .

“In my eyes, you’re both exactly the same.”

“We’re not the f*cking same and you know it,” I growl.

Kira jumps.

Austin’s head turns in my direction, his expression furious.

I ignore him, staring Kira in the eye.

She gives me a look of utter disgust, obviously realizing that I’ve heard a good portion of their conversation. “Oh, really? Explain to me the difference.”

Really? She wants to go there? Fine. “You’ve never felt for him what you feel for me. You never f*cking will.”

She turns white as a ghost.

It’s like instant medicine for my anger. The perfect response to calm me.

The proof I need to know that my words have hit the truth.

Kira does still love me.

It’s almost enough to make me smile.

Then I see the big * heading my way. I meet him in the middle of the room.

“You keep forgetting you can’t have her,” Austin spits.

Kira calls out both our names—the only thing that stops me from breaking this motherf*cker’s face.

“You keep forgetting I already do.” I promised Dana and myself that I’d back off. Take it easy, not push too hard, and what I said is just that: me verbally pushing too hard.

But it’s the truth. The hardcore, brutal truth my soul keeps screaming out, and one I know Kira feels deep down.

She runs up to us, trying to push us away from each other, to work her way between us. She can’t. We’re too big for her to move, and we’re too busy wanting to kill each other for her to make us want to.

“Both of you! Stop!” Kira cries out.

“Just walk away already,” I warn him, for her sake more than anything.

“I’m never going to walk away from Kira unless she makes me.”

My vision turns bright red.

“If you guys fight, I will never forgive either of you. I mean it!”

At her words, Austin and I instantly take a step back away from each other.

I want to kill him for it.