THE TROUBLE WITH PAPER PLANES(82)

I wanted to be there when Bridget went through his things. I wanted something of his for myself. I didn’t really care what. I just wanted to have something to look at that would remind me of him. Something tangible, something I could hold onto.

I’d already decided that Tuesdays I would continue to visit Latimer, just like Henry and I had always done. It wasn’t that I thought it would help find out what happened to Em, but I knew how important it was to Henry. I would also ask Latimer about Maia and see if he had any helpful suggestions. He seemed to be a man of influence. Maybe he could help us find out the truth.

One thing was for certain, though. We couldn’t afford to wait. That’s the thing with funerals. They suddenly make you realise how bloody short life is, and how little of it you may have left. Things get prioritised. You walk away from a fresh grave with a purpose.

You also walk away with more than a little fear, and a newfound respect for the fragility of life. It’s a reminder.

You need to live your best life now, before it’s too late. You don’t get a second chance at this.





THE NIGHT OF HENRY’S funeral, no one felt like much like eating. But Jas was not a woman to be trifled with. She was in full nesting mode, having spent every spare moment cleaning the house thoroughly, she now insisted we all have dinner at their place. Vinnie knew better than to stand in her way, and we were all too tired to disagree.


It was like a charade. We went through the motions, politely and quietly. Bridget looked completely exhausted, but she did her best to hide it, for Jas’s sake. They worked in the kitchen together, with Maia and I setting the table outside, and Alex and Vinnie manning the barbeque. The nights were still long, and it was plenty warm enough to eat al fresco.

I watched Maia work her way around the circular wooden table on the back lawn, setting out cutlery and placemats. Like the rest of us, she was tired after a long day, but she was here anyway, and I found myself not able to adequately express how grateful I was for that. I put down the cutlery I was holding and walked over to her, taking her arm and wrapping it around my waist. We stood there, the smell of cooking meat wafting over us, the sun low in the sky above. I rested my chin on top of her head and she settled into my arms as if we were two halves of the same whole.

“You okay?” she murmured into my shoulder.

I nodded. I was, because she was there. In no hurry to move, I glanced over at the barbeque. Vinnie was tending the meat and Alex stood beside him, can of beer in hand, watching us. I tried to decipher his expression, but he was still so guarded. He took another sip of beer and looked away.

We were a long way off being friends again, but at least he was trying. One step at a time. He had his own journey to make, and even though we could try and help him, ultimately he had to travel that road alone. That was the first time I’d seen a beer in his hand since Henry died though, which was a big step in the right direction.

“Look at you two,” Jas smiled tiredly, waddling outside with two large bowls in her hands. “You look very comfortable there.”

Embarrassed, Maia and I drew apart, and she resumed setting the table as Jas set the salad bowls down in the centre. She leaned on the back of the one of the chairs, putting her other hand on her very swollen belly.

“Are you okay?”

She waved me off. “I’m fine, honestly. It’s just playtime inside my uterus, nothing to worry about.”

“Is the baby kicking?” Vinnie asked, walking over to the table with a large platter of barbequed steaks and sausages.

She nodded, smiling. The tiredness of the day seemed to lift, and she was glowing again. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have a baby growing inside of you. Must be bloody distracting.

“Can I feel?” Maia asked.

“Go for it – here, give me your hand.”

I watched as she took her hand and placed it low down on her belly, off to the side. Maia’s face was a picture of concentration for several moments, then it lit up and she squeaked.

“Oh my God!” She grinned at me, then reached for my hand. “You have to feel this, it’s so weird!”

Jas laughed. “Oh cheers, thanks for that!”

But she took my hand anyway, and Maia moved hers so I could put my hand in her place. For a few seconds, I felt nothing. Then all of a sudden, something prodded my palm, and not gently, either.

“Shit!”

Everyone laughed, and I felt my cheeks burning as I pulled my hand away.