THE TROUBLE WITH PAPER PLANES(54)

The last threads of self-control tightened, then snapped. Her face dissolved, contorted with sheer agony. That was the final straw. I scooted forward, reaching for her as she dropped her knees and crawled into my arms.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but we’ll figure it out,” I mumbled, thinking aloud.

She nodded into my shoulder, holding on tight. Then the sobbing started. It was silent, but her whole body shook with the intensity of it. My brain whirled as I tried to work out what could possibly be happening here. It wasn’t just seeing Em’s things in the wardrobe, that much was clear.

God, I used to hate it when Em cried. It always made me feel so useless. All I could do was hold her and hope like hell it was enough.

I felt just as helpless then, with Maia in my arms.

After a while, she sniffed, pulling away from me. I let her, smoothing the damp hair away from her face. Her cheeks were flushed and wet.

“Talk to me,” I said. “And let’s see if we can work it out together.”

She took a shuddering breath and sat back. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she sniffed and stared blankly at the floor. I didn’t want to rush her, but whatever this was, I was keen to get to the bottom of it.

“I wish I knew,” she said quietly. “When it happened at the beach, I thought it was a one-off. Some kind of near-death thing. It freaked me out, but I could live with it. But this time… “

“What happened this time?”

Despite my curiosity, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to that.

She looked up at me, losing about ten years in the process. “I opened the wardrobe, and I saw all of her things in there. I saw the box and I just… I opened it. I was looking at the photos when it happened again.”

A near-death experience, when she wasn’t near death? A chill crawled up my spine. There had to be a rational explanation, surely. I wished Bridget were here. She was better at this stuff.

“Tell me what happened.”

She sighed, anxiously rubbing the knuckles of one hand with the fingers of the other. They were both shaking.

“I was just sitting there, looking through the photos. Then it was like… I don’t know. The room disappeared, and I saw us – at least, I think it was us. It could’ve been you and her, I’m not sure, I couldn’t tell. It was really quick, like lightning quick.”

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

“It happened so fast, I can’t really remember now. Maybe it was more like a feeling I got, rather than what I actually saw.”

My brain whirled in circles as I tried to hang on and keep up. “Has anything like this ever happened to you before?”

She stared at her hands. “Not that I can remember.”

I sighed. A leaden sigh, one that hurt my lungs. What the hell was going on here?

“Do you think this had something to do with Em’s stuff, in the wardrobe?” I asked. “I’m sorry it was still there. I should’ve shifted it when you moved in, that’s my fault. I’ll get rid of it all, move it down into the basement or something.”

“It’s not that,” she said irritably, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “And I’m sorry I was snooping, but I opened the wardrobe to put my things in there, and it was all just… and then I saw the box, and when I opened it… ” She groaned, leaning forward and burying her face in her hands. “God, I feel like I’m losing it. I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight – it’s all just… I don’t know.”

I latched onto the one thing she said that made any sense here.

“You can’t sleep?”

She sighed, her hands dropping back into her lap as she looked at me. “I can’t sleep. That’s why I get up early. I can’t seem to relax, I feel like I’m on edge all the time. When I had that migraine the other day, I managed to get about an hour’s sleep. I think that was the most I’ve had in days, maybe even weeks. I feel like I’m wading through sand.”

She got up off the couch and walked over to the French doors, staring out over the balcony. I was familiar with the feeling. For the first year after Em disappeared, it had been my new normal.

“Sleep deprivation,” I said. “I bet that’s what this is. It causes hallucinations and all sorts of other stuff. Maybe that’s what we’re dealing with here?”

I stood up and walked over to her, gently turning her around to face me. “You know how dangerous that is, right? They used to use it as a torture method. It makes you see things, makes you think you’re going mad.”