Sweetest Venom (Virtue #2)(63)
“MAY I COME IN? WE NEED TO TALK,” Jackie says, her expression inscrutable.
I tuck in some hair behind my ear, nervous. And with good reason. Besides her expression right now, which isn’t the friendliest, I haven’t forgotten our last meeting. “Um … sure, come on in.”
Jackie walks past me and into my apartment. I close the door behind me and watch her inspect my place. Her head moves this way and the other as she takes in the expensive furniture and the décor. All evidence of the person I used to be. Things that a hostess salary could never pay for.
She turns to look at me, dislike embedded in her face. “So this is what Lawrence paid for?”
That’s a hit below the belt. One that I didn’t expect from her in my own home. And one that hurts because of how true it rings. My instincts shout at me to hit back and draw blood, but I bite my tongue. I take a calming breath, reminding myself that she’s Ronan’s sister. And that she has every right to be angry.
“If you came to insult me, I think it’s better if you leave now. I love your brother and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”
Jackie ignores my request, blatantly daring me with her eyes. Crossing her arms, she reclines her hip against the back of my couch. “Oh, cry me a f*cking river, Blaire. Listen, I will make this visit short and sweet because it’s obvious that there’s no lost love between us.”
I hold on to the back of an accent chair for support, gripping it so hard my fingers grow numb. I try my best to appear calm while there’s a storm brewing inside me. “Go ahead, then,” I say, surprised at how blasé I manage to sound.
“When I first met you, I warned you that if you were just passing the time with Ronan, you should end it. No one would’ve been hurt. Not really, anyway. You obviously didn’t listen to me. And why should you when it’s usually all about Blaire, isn’t it? So you kept dating my brother and he kept falling harder for you,” she pauses, roving over my figure with so much scorn. “Then, one day my brother came over to visit Ollie, and I couldn’t recognize the broken man who stood in front of me. My brother was gone, replaced by someone I didn’t know.”
She shakes her head, staring at the floor. “I couldn’t figure out what happened to him, but when he stopped talking about you and pretty much forbade everyone in the family to even mention your name, I had a good idea of what must’ve gone down.” She raises her gaze to meet mine. “What happened? Did you realize that he couldn’t afford your going rate and Lawrence could?”
It all happens in a blur. One moment I’m by the chair, and in the next I’m standing in front of her, my hand stinging while she holds her cheek. “I’m sorry,” I say, taking a step back and almost tripping on the rug. “I’m so sorry.”
“Save it,” she sneers. “I’m going to cut to the chase. I came here to ask you to please leave my brother alone. He came to say good-bye to Ollie earlier because apparently he’s going away on a trip. When I told him that he couldn’t leave just now, not when the exhibit is next week, you know what he said? That he didn’t care about it anymore. He had that look in his eye. The one he had over the summer.”
“What would you like me to do, Jackie?” I whisper dully.
“I don’t have to spell it out for you, Blaire. You’re smart. Think. My brother is on the brink of making it big. Huge. Are you really willing to let him sacrifice it all for you? Let him go, Blaire. I don’t care if you have to break his heart again. Eventually, he’ll get over the pain and love again.”
“No.” I shake my head frantically, feeling dizzy. “Anything but that, please. I love him … I love him. He has a plan …”
“What’s his plan, Blaire? Throw it all away for love and go back to dead-end jobs? Back to doing things beneath his talent?”
She takes a step closer to me. “This is his moment, Blaire. If he lets this go, there’s a big possibility it will never happen again. Can you live with that on your conscience? If you have one, that is.”
I hang my head low and stare at the floor through eyes swimming with tears.
“And can you promise me you won’t leave him again when things get tough? You already broke his heart once, Blaire, and it almost destroyed him. Can you promise me that you won’t do it again?”
“I won’t leave him again. I promise you. And I have changed—”
“If you have, then why are we having this discussion? Are you trying to convince me or yourself that you are worth more than Ronan’s future?”
I walk to the window and stare at the skyline with unseen eyes. Where has all the light gone? With my back facing Jackie, I hug myself as though I could ward off myself from the truth in her words, from the pain that they inflict, but it’s of no use. She’s right. I’m being selfish by agreeing to his plan. “Even if I lie to him—” My voice falters, but I pull myself together. “He won’t believe me. He won’t let me go. Not this time.”
“Make him believe you, Blaire. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
“Why is happiness always so fleeting?”
“I’m sorry. Did you say something?”
“Nothing important,” I say numbly, tightening my arms around me, suddenly very cold. Hold it together, Blaire. Just for a few minutes longer. “I think you should go.”