Sweet Little Thing(32)

“Glad you’re excited,” Mia said.

“What’s the one thing we should do before that becomes a reality?” Tyler asked.

I waited.

Mia looked at Jenny and shrugged. “Take out a life insurance policy?”

“Eeehh.” Tyler made a buzzer sound.

Jenny said, “Come on, you guys. Let’s be honest, Mia and I are already parents.” She held her hands out, gesturing toward Tyler and me. “This is about you guys. Cut to the chase.”

I pointed my index finger right at Jenny’s face and said, “Bingo! We want to go to the Hamptons and get f*cked up and then go stay at your uncle’s cottage.”

Tyler chimed in, “We’re inviting you guys because we need a designated driver.” I elbowed him and whispered without moving my mouth, “Shut up, man.”

Mia just shook her head and looked disappointed, but Jenny looked different, she had fury behind her eyes. She stood up and put her hands on her hips. “You two kill me.”

I interrupted and tried to do some damage control. “Jenny, listen to me. We thought you and Mia would enjoy the cottage. You can relax in the sun overlooking the pond all day Saturday while Tyler and I wait on you two hand and foot. We’ll cook and we’ll clean—all you have to do is sit there and talk about diaper-rash cream and nipple confusion and whatever mumbo jumbo you two come up with.” I said the next part really fast and low. “And then we’ll go out Saturday night and have some fun.”

A smile started forming on her mouth. She laughed. “You mean you guys will have some fun while we drive your drunk asses around?”

“I’m fine with it,” Mia murmured from the couch.

Jenny turned around, shocked. “What?”

“I’m too tired to care,” Mia said. “We can’t drink, but they can, so why should we stop them?” I like her more and more every day. “We’ll do this for them and then they’ll owe us until the end of time.” She smiled triumphantly. I spoke too soon.

Jenny waddled toward the door. “Fine!” she said without turning around. “Let’s go, Tyler. We’ll see you guys Saturday.”





Tyler and I delivered on our promise to basically cater to Jenny and Mia all day Saturday at the cottage; neither one of them made it easy on us. At lunchtime Tyler was going to make sandwiches, but Mia said she was craving fish tacos and Jenny wanted a gyro.

“Come on, ladies, let’s be reasonable,” I said to them as they sat in lounge chairs overlooking the small pond.

Mia looked up and batted her eyelashes at me. “But it’s what we want, Wilbur.”

We drove all over the Hamptons looking for gyros and fish tacos and salted caramels and Sour Patch Kids.

When we returned with all the items requested, Jenny said, “Now I’m craving a burger.”

We drove to a beachside restaurant and bar, where after a day of being servants, Tyler and I decided it was time. We went straight to whiskey, no wine, no beer, not even a vodka martini; it was whiskey time. Jenny and Mia sat out on the heated patio overlooking the beach where Jenny finally got her burger. Mia ordered a hot-fudge sundae for dinner. She’d been the picture of pregnancy health until she found out she was having a C-section. After that, it was a free-for-all. One night I’d watched her eat an entire family-sized bag of powdered donut gems in one sitting. She was still tiny compared to most, but I think there was some resignation in her that wasn’t there before. She knew certain outcomes were out of her control, so she made the best of her final weeks of pregnancy.

I wasn’t sure how much time went by, I could only measure in drinks. About five drinks in, I climbed up on the bar and addressed the crowd. I could see Mia and Jenny through the window. They were watching me… and they were mortified.

“I just want to make an announcement,” I slurred. No one tried to stop me, not even the bartender. “I’m about to become a father.”

The crowd cheered as I held up my drink. Mia came in and leaned against the inside of the door to watch me.

“My beautiful wife”—I gestured toward her and as everyone looked on, I saw people’s faces light up when they saw her belly—“is giving me a son. I want to share a prayer with you. It’s a prayer for us, all three of us.” Pulling a piece of paper from my pocket, I glanced at Mia and thought I could see a smile touching the corners of her mouth.



However many miles,

We’ll travel them together.

However many sunsets,

We’ll watch in awe together.

We’ll play our songs…

We’ll laugh to tears…

We’ll cry our sorrows…

And we’ll face our fears… together.

The three of us.



“Drinks for everyone,” I shouted.

The bar erupted. When I looked over to the door, Mia was gone. I downed two more drinks and then found Tyler first. He was wasted and I wasn’t far behind.

“Did you see where Mia and Jenny went?”

“Yeah, dude, Mia doesn’t feel good. They went to the bathroom.”

I wish I could say that statement sobered me up, but I was beyond words being of any help.

I stumbled to the women’s bathroom and pressed my head to the door. “Mia, are you okay?”