Sweet Little Thing(25)

I found Jenny and Tyler talking quietly to each other in the corner, so I dragged Mia over to them.

“You guys okay?”

“I thought I was gonna give the speech?” Tyler slurred while sloppily hanging on Jenny’s shoulder.

“I told you Tyler, you can give us your speech now. It will be more personal that way,” Mia said, hoping to keep the drunk guy away from the microphone.

“I was just gonna say I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Mia and I both replied

“We have some news,” Jenny said quietly.

No one said a word for several moments. I glanced at the champagne glass Jenny was holding.

“I’m drinking apple cider too,” she said.

“Oh my God, you’re pregnant?” Mia shouted.

“Yes,” she cried.

They were both blubbering messes.

“I know this one will stick, Jenny, I just know it.”

For everyone’s sake, I hoped Mia was right.

We left our wedding before most of the guests. We took a cab to the Ritz, where I insisted on carrying Mia through the main door into the lobby and then again into our suite. We spent the whole night naked and tangled up in each other. Sometime before sunrise, when the delicate blue light became visible through the window, Mia whispered to me, “Why do you think people do it?”

Based on what she and I had spent the last hours doing, my answer was easy. “Because it feels good.” I didn’t realize she was talking about something else.

“Why do you think people get married and have children is what I mean?”

“Because it feels good.” I pulled her naked little body toward me under the covers and threw my leg over her. “Doesn’t this feel good?”

“Yes, but we don’t have to be married to do this.”

“We’re married now, Mia, so I have no idea where this conversation is going, but to answer your question seriously, I think people get married because they want to share their lives with someone, because they want someone to experience life with.”

“What does that mean?”

I kissed her nose and tucked her into my chest. “It means the beauty and wonder that I see in you every day colors each page of my life and makes it more vibrant. You make my experiences more meaningful.”

She nuzzled her face into my neck and murmured, “You’re such a cheese ball, Will, but you’re going to be the best husband and dad.”

And then she sank down under the covers and delivered on her promise.



TRACK 9: Cigarettes and Baby Bottles

The next few months flew by, each week dictated by a new chapter in the pregnancy encyclopedia. The holidays were a blur of chaos in the studio and at the café. We took a few days off in December and traveled to Detroit and Ann Arbor to visit family. I learned very painfully that my fear of flying hadn’t improved. Naturally, I was even more of a maniac on the plane than usual. It wasn’t enough that I had to worry about myself plummeting to earth in a fiery ball of wreckage, now I had to worry about my wife and unborn child doing the same. Mia had little patience for my antics, I think because I refused to get help for it.

Mia and Jenny had become obsessed with all things baby. Jenny’s pregnancy did stick and they found out they were having a girl right at the sixteen-week mark. We chose not to find out even though everyone we knew, Jenny being the worst of them all, berated us about it. She complained that our little boy or girl would only ever be dressed in green and yellow and people wouldn’t know what to buy us. That was the one and only thing Mia wasn’t being a total control freak about, so we stuck to our plan to not find out.

Martha would come over every week and check on Mia and work with her on relaxation and breathing exercises to prepare for the natural labor. Jenny was on board with the natural thing too, so of course she and Mia dragged Tyler and me to the Bradley Birthing Method classes.

It was hysterical; we had to get in all kinds of weird poses with the girls while they mimicked being in labor. We would massage their backs while they were perched on all fours, moaning. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is contain my laughter during those classes. Mia was the freakin’ teacher’s pet because she was taking it so seriously.

Right around the third class, they showed us a video of a live birth. I had nightmares for a week after that. Tyler and I agreed that we had to find a way to get out of going to the classes.

We hadn’t mutually agreed on a plan, so during the fifth class, Tyler took it upon himself and used his own bodily gifts to get us into a heap of trouble. Tyler is lactose intolerant, and he has to take these little white tablets every time he eats cheese. The morning of the class, he stopped by the studio with a half-eaten pizza. I didn’t even think twice about it until that night in class during our visualization exercises when this god-awful, horrendous odor overtook our senses.

At first everyone kept quiet and just looked around for the source. There wasn’t a sound to accompany the lethal attack, so everyone went into investigation mode, staring each other down. Mia began to gag. I heard Jenny cry a little behind us. Finally when I turned toward Tyler, I noticed he had the most triumphant glimmer in his eyes. I completely lost my shit. I was rolling around, laughing hysterically.

Mia grabbed the hood of my sweatshirt and pulled me to my feet. “Outside, now!” She was scowling as she dragged me along. When we passed Tyler, she pointed to him angrily. “You too, joker.”