Sweet Little Thing(16)

“So, what, like a nurse?”

“Doulas mostly assist natural or home births. I want to have this baby naturally, no drugs.”

“Are you kidding me? You love drugs.”

“God, Will, be serious for once.”

I slapped my hand to my bare chest. “I am. I’m as serious as a f*cking heart attack, Mia. Why would you want to put yourself through that torture?”

“I just want to see if I can do it. I want to see what I’m made of.”

“It’s masochistic. One of my sisters had a baby naturally and she said she would never do it again. She said it was like being blown apart from inside out.”

“Thanks a lot for that visual.” She crossed her arms.

“Sorry, but it’s true. You need to know.”

“Listen, Martha has been present for hundreds of births and she says natural is way safer for the baby and me.”

“It’s safer?” That got my attention.

She held a book out to me titled The Birth That’s Right for You. “Yeah, it basically says that in here.”

“Well then, if it’s safer, by all means.” I took the book from her hands and flipped through it. “Oh, you’re not even gonna get a Tylenol, lady. It says every intervention you add increases your chance of having a C-section.” I waved my index finger at her. “No drugs for you.”

She laughed.

“And… and you are going to breast-feed that kid for at least five years. You know how much bad crap is in cow’s milk?” I was being silly at that point, but it looked like Mia was relieved and that’s all that mattered.

She smiled. “Let’s not go too far, buddy.”

“You still haven’t told me what happened, how Martha found out.” I sat down next to her on the bed.

She took my hand in hers. “That day at the café when I told Martha about my… you know…”

“Yes, your nipples, Mia. Let’s stop being embarrassed. I get sore nipples all the time.”

“Really?”

“No,” I said seriously.

She elbowed me. “She said I should go buy a pregnancy test and go up to Jenny’s and take it. I didn’t think Jenny was home. It was actually kind of awful. Right after I texted you, I used my key to get into her apartment where I found her crying on the couch. She said she saw me in the store, buying the test. She ran home and that’s where I found her.”

“Oh my God, poor Jenny.”

“Remember when Jenny had the miscarriage and you said that it would change her?” I nodded and Mia continued, “Well, now she has a really hard time hearing about other people getting pregnant. She doesn’t even like to see pregnant women on the street. She insisted on me taking the test—it was like she wanted to punish herself. We got into a huge fight because I didn’t want take it in front of her. She went completely aggro. There were two tests in the box, so I peed on both and handed her one as I left the apartment. On the way down the stairwell, I looked at the test and saw that it was positive.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? And how did Martha know?”

“I didn’t tell you because it seemed like you had a lot on your mind that day. I never told Martha anything definite, but somehow she knew. The next morning, she showed up here with a stack of books and some prenatal vitamins. She has that weird sixth sense, you know?”

“Yeah, she does. What about Jen? How is she?”

“I went to see her after Martha’s visit. I sat on her couch and let her cry in my lap for an hour. She promised she wouldn’t say anything to Tyler until I told you. Before I left, she told me congratulations. She said she was happy for us and that she hoped we could be pregnant together.”

“Aw, man, that must be rough for them.”

“Yeah.”

We sat there in silence for several moments, absorbing our new reality. “Are you ready for your bath, mama?”

“Will, please do not call me that.”

In the tiniest, scariest, robot-baby voice I chanted, “Mama, mama, mama, mama,” as I followed Mia into the bathroom.

“Stop, Will.”

“Better get used to it, sweet thing.”



TRACK 6: Dresses and Dry Toast

As we approached the big day, Mia became more and more nervous. She had decided we should wait until our wedding to make the pregnancy announcement so she could tell her mom and step-dad in person. Being one of thirteen kids and the youngest after a brother and eleven sisters, baby news was nothing new in my family, but I decided to wait so everyone would hear it at the same time. Except, of course, Tyler, Jenny, and Martha.

Jenny warned Mia to wait until the three-month mark when it was more of a sure thing. Understandably, Jenny was a bit of cynic when it came to these things. Mia said Jenny was practical; I called it negative. Finally, I told Mia she had to make the announcement at the wedding. There was no way anyone would buy any excuse that Mia wasn’t drinking at her own wedding other than being pregnant. I argued that everyone would know anyway, so we might as well announce it.

The Thursday before our wedding, I woke up early. It was dawn and the light coming through the window was a dull blue. It was peaceful, like a fading memory. That is until I realized the bed was empty next to me. I flew to my feet, threw on a pair of boxers, and darted out into the hallway.