Sweet Forty-Two(47)

“Georgia, come on. It looks like your mom is going to do what she’s going to do. You’re going to need support. If Regan is trusting you with something from Rae, reciprocate it.”

“Reciprocate? You okay?”

“Ha ha. Fuck off.” His tone was playful, but a little flat. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. Come back out here soon, k?”

“I’ll try. Bye, babe.”

“Bye.”

I tossed my phone onto the passenger seat and eased my way back onto the highway. It was nearing four in the morning, and I was wired from all of the emotional electrocution. Sarcastic pun intended.

There was only one logical place for me to be at that hour, in this state, and Regan already knew about the bakery, so it was safe. As long as he stayed the hell out this time.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t tell Regan about my mom—that would be the easy part of the conversation. It was the ramifications of that that were strewn about my life that gave me pause.

Maybe it was his music, as Lissa suggested. Maybe it was the unfettered trust he’d shown me, and that I’d shown him earlier in blindly renting him my apartment. Whatever it was, I knew that I had to tell Regan something, so he knew why I wanted to kiss him.

And why I couldn’t. Ever.





Regan

“That was perfect. Do it one more time.” Willow clicked her mic off from the recording room.

I groaned internally. It was four in the morning and we had been in the studio since 9:00 PM due to some scheduling conflicts that presented recording problems. Last year I could have easily kept up a schedule like this, but Ember’s parents and her friends had trained us to operate on a “normal” schedule, as they called it, and this all-nighter was bullshit.

“If it was perfect,” Ember snapped, “why the hell are we doing it again?”

She chose not to groan internally.

“Ember,” her mother, Raven, cautioned.

Ember sighed. Apparently she wasn’t yet over Willow’s attempt at seducing Bo. I didn’t really know the details of it, and I hadn’t mentioned to Bo or Ember that I knew about it, but it was clear that now wasn’t the time to interject my opinion.

“Let’s go, Em. We can do it one more time, even better than perfect.” I elbowed her and smiled.

Bo mouthed a thank you to me as the rest of the Six let out a collective sigh of relief. The track we were cutting was one between just Bo, Ember, and myself. The band wanted to give us some space on the album, to highlight some of their new talent. Their words, not ours. I was grateful for the opportunity and didn’t have any reservations about playing the song for the 900th time.

So, we played the song again. And, one more time.

I’d been drugging myself on rosin and Chopin for the last week. Drowning myself in my craft kept me deaf to the telltale heart thumping away somewhere in Georgia’s apartment. A card. From Rae.

No, I couldn’t do it. Not yet, or, maybe ever.

I was grateful to Georgia for hanging on to it. I assumed she still had it, but I honestly hadn’t given much thought to if I cared what she did with it or not. As usual, I hadn’t seen her much during the days following our talk in her bakery. I hadn’t smelled anything signaling her use of the kitchen in a few days, and I’d long since finished the last of those delicious blueberry muffins. I wanted more.

Not even more of the muffins, though that was a sweet benefit. I wanted more Georgia. She didn’t have a shred of innocence left in her eyes, and that made me trust her. I wasn’t worried about harming her glittery view on the world, because it was clear she didn’t have one. And hadn’t for a long time.

Despite the whimsical appearance of her bakery, I sensed there was something dark underneath it ... even if I hadn’t been freaked out by the Cheshire cat eyes painted in stark green, above an equally jarring white smile, on the black crown molding in the cafe area. The desire to kiss her never really left me after the failed attempt weeks ago, even though I’d already apologized.

I didn’t mean the apology. Because I’d wanted to kiss her in that moment. I shouldn’t have taken the apartment, really, since I wanted to kiss her. That’s a standard bad idea. But I just trusted her. And, she seemed to have exactly zero interest in me beyond friends. Really, I was fine with that. She had some heavy secrets that weighed down her smile, and even if she didn’t want to tell me what they were, I had to be there for her. I’d promised CJ, if nothing else.

We finished our final cut of the song, and I played a couple more notes, lost in my swirling, exhausted thoughts.

Bo placed his hand on my shoulder, but all I heard was garbled noise.

I took my headphones off. “What?”

“I said, give it a rest, bud. We’re done. Freed!” Though he looked exhausted, he managed a smile and a fist pump into the air.

“I’m sleeping from the minute we get home until the day after tomorrow.” Ember yawned and lazily slung her backpack over her shoulder. “Let’s go, Bo.”

I cut off her attempt at hugging him. “Actually, can I take you home? I have some stuff I want to talk to you about.”

Bo backed up in mock defense. “What? You can’t talk to me?”

“This is...”

“Girl stuff?” he teased.