Sweet Fall (Sweet Home #2)(99)
We passed the row of little houses that were placed along the old bridge, and I wondered which one belonged to Mamma’s family. Her nonna lived in one of the historic tiny houses until her death years ago, and Mamma said there was no prettier place to grow up.
I looked upon the tiny houses, the bridge, with wonder, and I imagined my mamma running along here as a child, playing with her friends, singing for the locals in her perfect soprano pitch, her dancer limbs spread out to lap up the breeze.
The thought gave me peace.
As we reached the center point of the bridge, I leaned over the old stone wall and looked down upon the running flow of water below. I felt Lexi’s hand lay flat to my back.
It was time.
Standing back up straight, I looked to Levi and hooked my arm around his neck. Levi’s eyes met mine. Water was swelling in his eyes, but like a champ, my little bro kept it together.
Unhooking my arm from around Levi, I held the small urn in two hands, barely noticing the people from the surrounding houses coming out to watch us say our farewell.
Moving closer to the wall, I looked out over the medieval city and felt a sense of peace wash through me. This city was a part of me through Mamma. Il Duomo di Firenze, Palazzo Medici Riccardi, all of it. I had more than Bama blood running through my veins, and I was proud to belong to the green, white, and red too.
“Baby?” Lexi whispered and laid her head on my shoulder. “Would you like to say a few words? You know, to mark the occasion?”
Gripping the urn tighter in my hand, I couldn’t take my eyes off the gilded gold reflecting in the sun. Turning my head to the side, I pressed a kiss on my fiancée’s head, breathing in her sweet scent and using it to gather strength.
Taking a deep breath, I stared down at the urn, my knuckles white around it, and spoke straight from my heart.
“Mamma, I knew this day was coming soon. For a year I’ve planned this, worked hard to make you proud…” I looked over to Levi, who had reached his arm around my back and was clutching Lexi’s hand so tightly in his own, and met his eyes. “And so has Lev.”
My throat clogged, but clearing it with a cough, I managed to keep on going. “A lot has happened since you left us, Mamma. I’ve made your dream come true and am now a San Francisco 49er. And I’m good, Mamma. Real good. We made it to the Superbowl this year but lost to the Seahawks. To Rome, Mamma. You would’ve loved to have seen us both play.”
I let out a small laugh at the memory, Rome tapping me on the back and telling me, “Next year.”
“Lev’s in a good school and is sticking in, working hard, and Axe—”
My hands began shaking as I thought about Axel. He was still inside, having served one year of his ten-year sentence for distribution of class-A drugs. I visited him when I could and made him a promise—when he’s out, he’s moving out with us.
Nine years.
Nine years until he got out and started his new life.
“Well, Axe, he’s been doing real well too. He’s keeping low and outta trouble inside. And he’s studying, Ma. Axe is gonna be a graduate in business. Can you believe it? He’ll make something of himself, that’s for sure. He’ll make you real proud too.”
Water filled my eyes as a cool breeze wrapped around us. It felt like Mamma was hearing me, and I was finding it real f*ckin’ hard to let her go.
“Baby? You’re doing so well. Ti amo,” Lexi whispered, and I somehow found the strength to carry on.
“You were cheated in this life, Mamma. You had a heart of gold and were awarded a life of coal. But you never complained. You just made the best of what little you had and just loved your boys with more love than anyone could ever dream possible. I know Bama was never your home, Mamma, and that you always wanted to be back here, back running among the cypress trees, singing center stage in the Teatro di Verona, and breaking bread with your family. But God had other plans for you. He knew you’d given too much too young and wanted you to take your place with Him in paradise. But in typical fashion, before you left, you made sure we would be okay, that I would be okay. You recognized my miracle when I was too blind to see it myself.”
I heard a sniff beside me and glanced down to see my gorgeous fiancée, her heart breaking but still giving a huge, encouraging smile.
Christ, I loved her.
Tipping my head to the vast blue, cloudless sky, I imagined Mamma looking down on us, at peace now that the Carillo boys were doing good, that Lexi was by my side. We were all out of trouble, getting things done right.
“Every day I live, I will strive to make you proud. You may’ve been on your own, no man to take care of you, but you taught me what it was to be strong, what it was to be a man. I will love Pix with all that I am, and one day, if we have kids, I will love them as much as you loved us.”
This time, the tears couldn’t be held back, and salty water began streaming from my eyes and down my cheeks. “Sleep tight, Mamma. I hope you’re singing up there with a smile upon your face.”
Letting out a sob, Levi curled himself into my chest and shook with the intensity of his grief.
Lexi took the urn from my hands so I could wrap my brother in my arms. “Shh, Lev. It’s okay.”
Levi’s hand gripped onto the back of my shirt as he rid himself of a year’s worth of sorrow. “I miss her, Austin. I miss her so damn much. I can’t do this.”