Surprise Delivery(84)
Duncan himself has been great. He’s been thoughtful, caring, and considerate. He’s been everything I know him to be and more. He’s given me time, space, a shoulder to cry on, and somebody to vent my rage to.
I realize that not everything I’m feeling is a result of Henry’s bullshit. I know that a lot of my anger stems from my own feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy as a result of my own life. But Henry really lit the fuse on that bomb inside of me, and it exploded in spectacular fashion.
But that’s over now. It’s in the past and we’re moving forward. Together. And for that, I’m thankful. I’m profoundly grateful that Duncan hasn’t given up on me. He’s stuck by my side through all of my half-crazed rantings and ravings. He listens to me with an open mind, an open heart and doesn’t judge me for any of it. I can’t even begin to explain just how much that means to me.
“We should probably get her home,” he says. “It’s getting cold out.”
“Listen to you,” I say. “You’re sounding like a parent.”
“Yeah, well, don’t let that get around,” he chuckles. “I’ve got a reputation to protect.”
I laugh. “I’ll add that to your secret Star Wars fanboy closet.”
Duncan laughs, but I’m only half-kidding. Ever-present in my mind, of course, is the knowledge that I haven’t yet told him that Aurora is his daughter. I’ve been trying to line up meetings with some of the attorneys Bri gave me the numbers to, but I’ve been spending so much time with Duncan since then, that I haven’t gotten around to it.
I think part of me, maybe subconsciously, is hoping that he bonds so well with Aurora, that when I do tell him, it won’t even matter. I watch him as he pushes the stroller along, and he looks very comfortable in the role of a parent. He dotes on her, attends to her every need, and best of all, he’s so good with her. I can see the affection he has for Aurora just by the way he looks at her. And I’m hoping against all hope that when I do tell him, that affection he has for her will override anything.
After a lovely evening out, we arrive at Duncan’s place, having decided to stay there for the night. I figure it will be nice to give Bri a break and let her run around our apartment naked for a night if that’s what she feels like doing. I know that with Aurora in the house – and Duncan spending as much time there as he does –things are getting a little cramped. She spends a lot of time at Dom’s, but I don’t want her feeling like I’m pushing her out of her own place, so I make sure to get us all out of the house from time to time, just to give Bri some space. It’s a small gesture, but something she seems to appreciate.
The doorman holds the door open for us and Duncan tips him as we step into the lobby. He pushes the stroller over to the banks of elevators and presses the call button. As we wait, I look around, admiring the place all over again. Even though I’ve been here a hundred times, I still can’t get over how nice the place is. Marble in the lobby, tasteful – though obviously expensive art – on the walls, and a waterfall that flows down the middle of the lobby, are just a few of the accouterments of the building.
It’s silly, but I can’t help but compare it to mine, which has mailboxes and a couple of dead plants in the lobby. Duncan’s building just drips money and whenever I walk through the doors, I can’t help but feel a little uptown. A little bit swanky.
When the elevator reaches his floor, he pushes the stroller out and we walk down the hall to his door. He unlocks it and ushers us inside, closing it behind us. The lights are dim but light enough to see by, and I marvel at his place. The floor plan in the front of the condo is open. There’s a kitchen directly across from the front door, a dining area off to one side, and a sunken living room that has an enormous fireplace and plush, deep couches.
The rear wall of the condo is made entirely of glass and has a spectacular view of downtown Manhattan. I’d never really seen the city from this vantage point before I started coming to Duncan’s place, and I have to admit that I’m captivated by it. There is a balcony off the rear of the house as well, but being as afraid of heights as I am, I’ve yet to work up the nerve to step foot on it.
Duncan’s place is very tastefully decorated and surprisingly understated. Other than the building it’s housed in, there are no grand displays of wealth or extravagant conversation pieces. It’s a simple, comfortable, homey place that just happens to be occupied by somebody who’s got more money than God.
Personally, I love it here. I really do.
“I’m going to put Aurora to bed if you don’t mind,” he says.
“Of course,” I say.
Whenever we stay over, Duncan likes to put Aurora to bed. He turned one of his three bedrooms into a makeshift nursery. He even went out and picked up a crib, blankets, toys – everything I have in my place just to make her feel more at home. It’s adorable and it makes me so happy to see him taking such an active hand with her – which again gives me that glimmer of hope that when the time comes to reveal the truth, that he won’t care.
I stand at the rear windows, looking over the city. I’ve lived here my whole life and I think it’s the most beautiful, vibrant city on Earth. I take in every light, the shape of every building, the skyline of the buildings downtown. I’m committing it to memory as I absorb the energy I feel flowing from the city, taking it into me, and cherishing it. I love this place more than words can say.