Surprise Delivery(50)

The mere thought that he still feels for me as I feel for him sends a shockwave through my mind and heart. It’s not something I ever anticipated. Secretly, it’s something I still hoped for. Duncan Clyburne has fueled my fantasies since the night of the gala. I can’t count the number of times I’ve masturbated as I replayed that night, we shared in the conference room.

The spark between us had been unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It goes well beyond anything I could have ever dared hope for or imagined. It’s something that’s been seared into my mind, my heart – hell, it’s been seared into my very soul. And seeing that he still feels that connection very nearly took my breath away.

“I should go home,” I mumble. “I’m not feeling very well.”

Brad scratches at his beard and watches the crowd passing by for a minute. When he looks back at me, he doesn’t look abashed or embarrassed by his behavior as I expected him to. He looks – defiant.

“Duncan is the father of your baby, isn’t he?”

The question takes me off guard and sends me reeling. That’s a closely guarded secret – how in the hell could Brad know? His eyes bore into me, his face painted with an inscrutable expression. He’s angry, but I can also see hurt in his face, as well as something else – something like desperation.

“Isn’t he?” Brad presses.

“I don’t think that’s your business, Brad,” I say. “What in the hell is wrong with you?”

He steps forward, looming over me. My heart starts to race, and I suddenly feel angry that he’s pushing me back up against the wall like this. That he’s trapped me and is demanding answers he has no right to have.

Brad nods. “Yeah, I could see it in the way you look at him, Lexi,” he says. “He’s not just an old friend, he’s the father of your baby. Admit it.”

My face is burning with anger and my body tightens with the stress of it all. “What does it matter if he is?” I hiss.

“I’m just asking for a little honesty here.”

“I’ve never been dishonest with you, Brad,” I snap. “Me not telling you the name of the baby’s father is not a lie. It’s a choice.”

He smirks at me. “You realize, by not simply saying no, you’re only reinforcing the idea in my head.”

“And what if he is? So what?”

Brad looks away again, that strange mix of emotions still on his face. I take the opportunity to push myself off the wall to head home. Brad has other plans, though. He grabs me by the upper arm and pushes me back against the wall so hard it makes my teeth click together.

“Brad, what the hell? You’re hurting me,” I snap. “Let go of me.”

Brad recoils as if I just burned him, holding his hands up, a stricken look upon his face. He takes a step back.

“What in the hell is wrong with you?” I yell.

“I – I’m sorry,” he stutters. “I just – I kind of lost my head there for a minute. I’m sorry.”

“I need to go.”

I push myself off the wall and start to walk away from him, but Brad is right behind me, shadowing my every step.

“Lexi, I’m sorry,” he says.

I ignore him and keep walking. People flow around us the way a river flows around a rock and suddenly, everything seems impossibly loud. The lights are too bright, the buzz of conversation on the street is deafening, and the shrill honking of the car horns sounds like bombs going off in my ears. The sensory input is overwhelming and I’m starting to feel dizzy. Then pain, unlike anything I’ve known before, grips my body.

I stop and lean against a wall, trying to slow my breathing and calm my heart, which is beating a staccato rhythm in my chest. Brad takes the opportunity to slide in front of me. I do my best to shut him out and focus on willing the pain racking my body away.

“Lexi just listen to me for a minute,” he says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to grab you like that.”

“Get away from me, Brad.”

“Look, I don’t care if it’s his kid or not. I really don’t. I love you, Lexi. I always have,” he says, desperation punctuating his words. “I can be a good husband to you. A good father to your – to our – child. I can give you the kind of life you deserve.”

I shake my head, tears streaming down my face. It’s too much. It’s all too much. My body feels like it’s being squeezed in a vice – and it’s slowly crushing me. I feel like I can’t catch my breath and I cry out as another spasm of pain ripples through me.

“Leave me alone, Brad,” I manage to gasp.

He grabs hold of my arm, forcing me to look up at him. A wave of searing anger flashes through me as I look at him. I wanted to believe otherwise, but somewhere deep down, I always knew it would come to this. I knew he’d never be able to just be my friend. Somewhere in my heart, I knew he couldn’t just be the person I needed him to be for me.

Damn him. Goddamn him.

“Lexi, he doesn’t deserve you. He ran away, leaving you to deal with this all on your own,” Brad presses. “I’ve been here for you from day one. I’ve been the man you’ve needed. Just think about it for a second. I mean, who’s been there for you every step of the way?”

“You were supposed to be my friend,” I say, the wave of pain gripping me growing even stronger.