Suit (The Twin Duo #1)(71)

“You don’t decide that, but just for the record, I wasn’t going to go there. Not right now anyway.”

“Will you just shut up and put it in me. The girls are right next door.”

“Shut up, Gabriella. Just shut your fucking mouth. You don’t lead this. I do.” he said with gritty words, trumping my “shut up” with his own.

I didn’t shut up. I moaned, pain mixing with pleasure. Paxton bent me at the waist a little and slid into me. Fast and hard.

My hand landed on the patch of hair right above his glorious shaft. “Paxton, it hurts. I can’t do this yet.”

He stopped and pulled out. I turned and watched him stroke his cock, glistening from my arousal. Jesus. God. He was sexy.

“Walk to me, slut.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. “I don’t like that, Pax. I feel like you’re degrading me when you say stuff like that.”

“Fuck this, Gabriella. I am. That’s exactly what I am doing. Stop with the whole fucking Pax thing. I’m sick of this shit. Enough already. Now walk your slut ass over here to me. Now.”

“Fine. Where would you like me, master?”

“That’s my good little slut. Can you put your weight on the counter? Will that hurt too much?”

I walked to the counter with soft white towels and bent over, eyes staying on the pink roses in the corner of the top towel. I closed my eyes and swallowed away a sudden burn in my throat when he moved into me.

“Does it matter?”

Paxton slid in and out of me with his hands on my hips. “Of course it matters. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You just did,” I said in a quiet mundane tone.

His hips stopped moving briefly and then he continued. I felt violated and hurt. My emotions were getting tangled in a web of something I didn’t want. Something my heart couldn’t take. I was wrong. The feelings I thought we shared between us were nothing more than a false fantasy. Paxton would never love me. Not like I wanted him to.

The drunk desire to climax was replaced with something else to store away in my fucked-up brain. I’d get back to that later. Paxton fucked me rough from behind, grunting and driving into me fast. A couple times he pulled my hair back so I would look at him through the mirror. My eyes stayed on the satin rose. Down.

He was quick about it. He gave it to me deep from behind and then spewed his poison on my back. I waited, still suffering some sort of brokenness, feeling his warm, sticky substance run down the crack of my ass. I still didn’t look at him, and I didn’t move a muscle when he pushed into the pucker in my ass. My eyes squeezed closed and he recanted.

“You can go to bed. I’ll tend to the girls.” And just like that. Paxton was gone. I knew it wasn’t an offer. It was an order, but I didn’t care. I’d go to bed just to get away from him. Ten minutes before I would have drowned in his come. Now I just wanted it off me. I wanted him off me.

I would love to say that it remained that way. That I was able to turn it off and stop living in a fantasy world. I couldn’t. Even when he treated me like a slut, I wanted him.

Paxton didn’t punish me anymore that night, but he did make me cry. Of course, I never let him see that. I had just crawled into bed and turned off the lights, ready to put that day in the past. I debated on opening my tablet or not, unsure of adding any more fuel to the fire. Some of my poems ran deep and left me feeling lost and lonely.

I turned my head toward his dark silhouette without a word. He didn’t speak, either. He moved in beside me and I rolled to my side. That’s when my soul gave way, betraying me for him. My back leaned into his chest and my eyes closed with his kiss to my head.

“I’ve always called you a slut behind closed doors, Gabriella.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. And I let you.”

“You did. It worked for us. For what we both needed. You have everything to suit your needs, and I have you. My slut, to suit mine.”

I pondered his words with a deep breath. “I don’t know that I’m okay with that anymore, Paxton. I’m not that person anymore. I’m not Gabriella.” That part stung my chest like a bee. One quick stab, reminding me that it wasn’t a lie. To me anyway.

“I’m not okay with it anymore. I’m not okay with these girls running around like chickens with their heads cut off for no reason. I’m not okay with eating fatty bacon and chicken from a bone. I’m not okay with any of this, Paxton. I’m not so sure we shouldn’t separate for a while. Work through things on our own for once,” I said. That’s when I swiped away a tear. Just in time.

Paxton spun me to my back and placed his hand around my throat. That time was meant to be feared. I feared it. “Yeah? Where you gonna go, slut. You got money to live on? You think you’re ever going to see Rowan or Ophelia again? Go ahead and try it. Like I’ve told you a million times, I’ll kill you first. Do you understand me, Gabriella?”

I nodded in agreement with a breath held in my lungs. The angered tone told me not to push anymore buttons. I could tell when to stop. Now was that time.

Paxton smiled with a smirk and moved his fingers between my legs. I was a ghost that night. I bent over his lap like a good little slut and endured nine slaps to my ass. That was the most he’d ever given me at one time. Maybe it was because of my reaction. Maybe he didn’t expect my reaction to be so blah. I stiffened a little with every blow, but not once did I writhe my hips into his fingers. I wanted to. I wanted to shove my ass back, moan, and beg for more, but I didn’t.