Stripping Callum (Last Hangman MC Book 6)(36)

So far, the only rule I didn’t break is the last one, but I know it’ll eventually happen. I’m not being a soppy bastard, I know I’ll either hurt her because I’ll push her away in any way I can if she ever mentions any kind of feelings. Despite missing the intimacy, I’m not willing to risk her safety and life. Or she’ll end up dead because I was a dick and kept her close because in the end, I’m human and I have feelings.

Everybody, even my brothers, seem to think that I’m just hard headed and hard hearted. I can be, but I also have feelings like everybody else, even if I’m not showing them. If I start showing that I care, that’s when shit goes down and someone usually ends up dead.

“What’s got you brooding this early in the morning?” Bella asks, startling me.

“Nothing.” I roll to my side and face her. “How did you sleep?”

“Amazingly well, you’re a great source of heat and cuddler. Who would have thought?” She kisses me softly and strokes my cheek. She’s going to be the death of me, I swear.

“Glad you think so.” I chuckle.

“Back to the matter at hand, why the frown?”

“I’m smiling now.” I smile at her and bring her body close to mine.

“Yes, but when I woke up you looked so damn moody, I was scared to say a word.”

“Scared?” I look at her, confused.

“You’re a beast compared to me, size wise I mean. I don’t know how you get when you’re in a bad mood. It’s too early to have a fight so yeah, I was treading on thin ice.” She shrugs.

“Never be afraid of how I might react to you, even in the worst of mood, I would never yell at you.”

“Promises. Promises.”

“I’ll prove you wrong.” I roll us over and lie on top of her, pinning her hands down and kissing her neck.

“So, what was on your mind?” She giggles.

“Fuck, you never stop, do you?” I rest on my elbows and look at her.

“Never, I just want to turn that frown upside down, and I know that as soon as I leave it’ll be back on your face.”

“You’ve got a point. Just thinking about life in general.”

“Isn’t it a bit early in the morning for that kind of thinking?” She raises her eyebrow and wraps her arms around me, bringing me to her.

“It’s never too early to reflect on life.”

“Maybe, anything in particular?” She grins.

“You amongst other things,” I say truthfully. I don’t know why I’m opening up to her, it’s not me. I’m not being myself with her. Or maybe I am, and I’ve been so dead set on never letting the real me out that this is shocking me.

“Go me!” She fist bumps the air proud of herself.

“Yes, go you.” I kiss her. “What do you usually have for breakfast?”

“Are you offering to bring me breakfast in bed? Am I already domesticating you?” She has a smug grin on her face and a part of me wants to be a dick and run away at that comment, but it feels good to be joking around with someone while lying naked in bed in the early morning. I don’t want to ruin the moment.

“Now, don’t go telling everybody that.” I chuckle.

“I’ll keep that to myself. I’m good with coffee and toast.”

“Coming right up.” I kiss her deeply and get out of bed. I grab a pair of jeans and put them on. As I’m pulling them up past my ass, I hear Bella sigh happily. I turn to look at her, and her eyes are still trained on my ass. “Enjoying the show?”

“I liked it better when you took everything off, but that’ll do.” She waggles her eyebrows at me.

“I thought we agreed on never mentioning that again?”

“No, you asked me to not tell anyone. Now that I know you’ve got moves, I’m going to ask you for a strip tease every other night. It’s only fair as I’m usually the one doing it.” She snorts.

“What the f*ck did I get myself into?” I groan and go to the kitchen to make us breakfast.

Starting on the coffee, I realize that my mornings with Alina were going a little something like this morning with Bella, but something was missing back then. The complicity, the joking around. We were close and in love, at least I think we were, but that little spark was missing. The one where you can just do and say whatever you want and the other will go along with you. I’ve never had it with anyone, besides with my brothers’ wives, but that’s entirely different. There’s nothing sexual or intimate in it.

If I’m honest with myself, I’d have to say that I’m falling for Bella already, and I’m not sure how I like it. A part of me wants this again, but the other part just wants to protect her and myself. I can’t have her hurting, but I don’t want to get hurt either. It’s very selfish, but if she realizes how f*cked up I am she’ll leave me, which will hurt me. If she’s hurt or gets killed because of me, it’ll hurt me. In every scenario, I’m getting hurt in the end, no matter what the outcome is.

“You seriously need to stop it with the moodiness in the morning,” Bella says from behind me.

“I know, it’s not good for me.” I sigh and turn to her.

“What’s up?” She walks the few steps that separate us and wraps her arms around my waist.