Stripping Callum (Last Hangman MC Book 6)(18)
I wonder how different our lives would be if I had freed Nancy when I should have. Would she still have been happy with Bennett? Would I have had my chance with her? Would she be the strong woman she is now? Those questions are going on and on in circles inside my head, and I wish I could stop feeling the remorse I feel about not saving Nancy. She keeps telling me one of these days she’s going to kick my ass if I keep thinking that way. I can’t wait to see that day.
I don’t know how she would feel if she knew I killed her parents, or maybe she knows and acts as if nothing happened.
They threatened Bennett a month ago. They wanted their daughter back in their lives because they ‘missed her’ according to what Bennett said. I don’t buy it, and neither did he. They started by asking in a friendly manner, or as friendly as Nancy’s parents could be, then they started threatening hers and his life. He came to me to talk about it because he didn’t want to worry and upset her, which I’m glad he did. It didn’t take me long to decide to end things myself. I offered to take care of the problem, and he knew what I meant.
That kind of thing is usually club business, but this was a personal matter for Bennett and me. It would be quick to just get rid of them and forget they ever existed. The club had enough to think about with the Infernos on our asses because Bennett killed their Prez.
I trailed Nancy’s parents and picked the best moment to end their miserable lives. They were driving back in the city to torment my friends again. I wasn’t about to let it go according to their plan. I cut them off on the deserted road, and they crashed. They weren’t dead straightaway. Her father was unconscious, but her mother wasn’t. She banged her head pretty badly, but other than that she would have been able to walk, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.
“Help me, please,” she said in her fake, frail voice.
“Do you really think I’m going to help you? Lady, I’m the one who cut you off and made your poor excuse of a husband lose control of the car.” I sneered at her.
“Why?” She dared, sounding shocked.
“Because you made Nancy’s life a living hell for years, and are still trying to f*ck things up for her and Bennett now that they are finally together and happy. I’m just making sure nothing comes between them. You’re just a nuisance, you and your husband, to her and Bennett.”
“You’re never going to get away with murder. If you think you will, you’re insane!” she yelled at me.
“Lady, I’ve been getting away with murder for a while now. I might be pushing my luck, but it’ll be worth it knowing you two won’t be able to hurt Nancy anymore.”
“You’ll burn in hell!”
“Save me a spot when you get there.” I winked at her and went back to my bike. I grabbed a gasoline can from the saddle and walked back to the car. I doused gasoline all over the vehicle, inside and out, then tossed the empty can into the car. She wasn’t moving, and I realized that she may be more injured than I thought. But all the better, saved me having to chase her down. I grabbed a pack of matches and cracked one. Striking the flame, I lit up the pack and flicked it inside the car. Flames instantly engulfed the car, bright gold and yellow embers floating through the night sky.
I took a step back, and flashbacks from when Alina and Billy burned in the car twelve years ago assaulted my mind. The smell, the screams, the heartache I felt that day, I felt them now. Not because I felt bad for doing this to someone, but because it brought me back to a place I’d been trying to stay away from for so long.
That was a month ago, and I still feel the pain and the heartache. The pain is not getting any better, nor is the heartache. I’m just getting better at keeping it a secret from most people. Nancy is the only one who knows the full story, and f*ck me if she’s not trying to psychoanalyze me every time I seem to be lost in thought. That’s why I try to avoid her like the plague when shit like this happens. I know I’m not good company when I feel miserable, and I don’t want her to worry about me any more than she already does. If only she knew what really is going through my head daily, she would have me locked up for good.
My only escape is this cabin. I bought it when I was first roaming around aimlessly, when Alina and Billy died. It’s been witness to many drunken nights of me mourning the loss of the loves of my life. The others have access to it and can come whenever they want as long as I’m not using it.
The only downside of being here, alone with my thoughts, is that my every thought is consumed by the guilt of not being able to save Alina and Billy. I failed them, and I’ll forever feel guilty about it.
Jack Daniels has been my best friend this entire time, but I’m left craving something more.
I miss my wife, I miss having someone to hold and to love. Even though I feel cursed and that I’ll never be happy and don’t deserve to have that special someone in my life, I crave the physical touch and the closeness you feel when you’re with someone.
I’ve never had trouble finding someone to f*ck, but there’s always something missing. I never spend the night, nor do I ever want to. It’s not something I’m willing to do as most of those easy women end up being clingy real fast. I don’t do clingy. I need an independent woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t need a man to get it. I don’t care about what she does for a living as long as she gives herself one hundred percent into what she does. I have yet to meet that woman.