Strange Medicine (Dr. Maxwell Thornton Murder Mysteries #1)(3)

She narrowed her eyes. “You don’t want to be here?”

My face felt hot. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” I turned my back on her. “I apologize. My comment was rude, and I don’t even mean it.”

She came around so she could see my face. Her expression was irritated, but it gradually softened. “Maybe this town isn’t what you’re used to. But there are some wonderful folks here. You might even enjoy it a little if you let yourself relax and get to know people.”

I walked across the room and sat in the chair behind the desk. “I don’t see that happening.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t really do people very well.” I held her gaze firmly. It was best she knew what I was like now, that way she could decide if she wanted to work for me or not. I wasn’t ever going to be a warm and fuzzy employer. If that was what she needed, she should move on.

She followed me and sat in the chair that would usually be for the patients. “I know why you’re here.”

I glanced up sharply. “Pardon?”

“I um… I know what happened. I know what the catalyst was that made you decide to hide away in Rainy Dale.”

Heat returned to my cheeks. “What are you talking about?”

“I know about the little mishap that made you quit doing surgery.” She shrugged.

“What do you think you know?” I asked softly.

She rolled her eyes and leaned toward me. “Lydia Pine was the receptionist before. She was Dr. Pine’s wife. She knew all about you, and she thought it would be useful for me to know too.”

“Why?” I sounded horrified to my own ears.

Her laugh was gruff. “I guess because I was going to work for you.”

I exhaled impatiently. “That’s nonsense.”

“Is it?”

“So long as I do my job properly while I’m here, you shouldn’t need to know anything personal about me.” I chuffed. “And I shouldn’t need to know about you either.”

She smirked. “The difference is you’re not interested in my life. The rest of us are nosy about yours.”

Pulling my brows tight, I said, “Why in the world would you or anyone in this town care about me?”

She stood. “Plain old curiosity. You’re the new kid in town. Things can get a little dull around here.”

I sat back in my chair, feeling frustrated. “My business is my own.”

Moving to the door, she said, “You keep telling yourself that. But you’re in for a rude awakening. Small towns don’t operate like the big city.”

An uneasy feeling came over me, and I stood quickly. “You’re not going to tell anyone else what you know, are you?”

She hovered near the door. “Do yourself a favor, Doc, and don’t try to hide things. It won’t work.”

“I don’t want to be the fodder for town gossip.”

“It doesn’t matter. People will still talk about you. It’s just how it is.”

“Not if you don’t tell them.”

She gave a bark of a laugh. “If Lydia Pine told me your little secret, you can bet your life she told other people too. She was a huge gossip.”

“I thought you said she only told you because you were going to work for me.” I squinted.

“I lied.”

I sucked in a steadying breath. “Look, what happened was a terrible tragedy.”

“Yes. And, personally, I think you’re being too hard on yourself. Sometimes people die on the operating table. It’s a sad fact. I had an uncle who died during a hernia operation. That surgeon still practices just like he always did.”

“Good for him,” I whispered.

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”

“Even so…” I murmured.

I closed my eyes as unwelcome anxiety washed over me in waves. Memories of that horrible moment always hovered on the edge of my mind, grim recollections that flooded back at the slightest nudge: the alarm of the heart monitor, noisy suckers, a sinister silence as I snapped orders, frantically trying to stop the tsunami of blood. An adrenaline syringe ran as swabs soaked with blood were packed around the veins that refused to be tied off. Panic set in as sutures sliced through the veins like swiss cheese. An undiscovered tumor had weakened the vein walls, and they’d disintegrated as I fought to stop the bleeding. The sheer helplessness of that moment still made me nauseous. No amount of training had been able to stop the relentless hemorrhaging. The failure. The death.

“Are you all right, Dr. Thornton?” Girdy’s hesitant voice caught my attention.

I straightened and swallowed against the bile that threatened to rise. “Of course.” My voice wobbled.

Pull yourself together you fucking, pathetic fool.

I met her gentle gaze as she said, “No one will judge you. Bad things happen.”

“Not to me.”

Her frown was skeptical. “You’d never lost a patient before that day?”

I shook my head.

“Not in a decade of surgeries?” Her eyes widened.

“You don’t get to be the top of your field by murdering your patients, Girdy.”

She scowled. “It wasn’t murder.”