Stone Cold Heart (Tracers #13)(20)

“Are these Salvadoran?” Kelsey asked, studying a row of painted figurines.

“Guatemalan.”

“That’s right. You spent a summer down there, didn’t you?”

“A year.”

Kelsey wandered over to the kitchen and leaned on the bar. “How was that?”

Sara took her time answering. “Heartbreaking.”

Kelsey nodded knowingly. She had spent a summer in northern Iraq and had seen her share of atrocities as well.

“But educational, too. And I met some amazing people.”

“I bet.”

Sara waited for the water to boil and for Kelsey to get to whatever was on her mind.

“I’m sorry for leaving you guys in a lurch,” Kelsey said. “Two weeks is a long time, I know. I’ve never taken a vacation that long.”

“It flew by.”

“For me, too.” Kelsey smiled, but her eyes looked worried. “I really needed the break.” She paused. “You know, I probably should have told you this, but several months ago, I had a miscarriage.”

Sara stepped closer. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“No one did.” She shook her head. “It’s fine now. Well, not fine, obviously, but better. We’re going to try again soon.”

Sara didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what the correct response was. Through some lighthearted teasing at work, she’d picked up on the fact that Kelsey and her husband were trying to have a baby. She hadn’t realized they’d lost one.

“How is Gage doing?” Sara asked.

Kelsey tipped her head to the side. “You know, most people don’t ask about him.” She paused. “Gage is . . . okay. It’s been hard for him. Not only losing the baby but seeing me hurting.” She looked at Sara. “You’ve never been married before, right?”

“I was engaged once, but it didn’t work out.”

Kelsey waited, and Sara felt oddly compelled to explain, which she didn’t usually do. “We’d been engaged almost a year, and then a few months before the wedding, I started to panic. I had all these doubts about, you know, spending my whole life with someone. I kept thinking, ‘What if I change? What if he does? What if this isn’t a good fit?’?” She stopped talking, surprised she was sharing all this. Maybe she was doing it because Kelsey had let her in on something painful. “I couldn’t shake the doubts I was having, so finally I told Patrick what was on my mind. Maybe things would have worked out between us if he’d reacted differently.”

“How did he react?”

“He was angry. And when I suggested we postpone the wedding, he freaked out. Told me I couldn’t do that to him or our families. And him telling me I couldn’t just reinforced my doubts about our relationship. I felt trapped. So I broke up with him, quit my job, and moved to Guatemala.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Sara sighed. “Which was very hurtful to a lot of people. In retrospect, I should have handled it better.”

She remembered her mom’s reaction. What on earth is wrong with you? You have something good, and you throw it away with both hands. Sara’s mom hadn’t understood her reasoning any more than Patrick had, and Sara had stopped trying to explain.

“What’s that look?” Sara asked.

Kelsey smiled. “I never would have pegged you for a runaway bride. You always seem so levelheaded.”

“Well, it was impulsive, you’re right.” Her decision hadn’t been logical. For the first time in her life, she’d completely ignored logic and followed her gut. She was still following it, which was why she’d taken the Delphi Center job in Texas, where she knew exactly no one and her family was fifteen hundred miles away.

The kettle whistled, and she moved it to a back burner. She took down two cups from the cabinet and dropped a tea bag into each of them.

“Wow, how’d we get on this topic, anyway?” She looked at Kelsey. “You didn’t come here to talk about my dysfunctional love life.”

Kelsey took a seat at one of the bar stools. “I heard about White Falls Park. Sounds like you guys had a tough day out there.”

“We did.”

“Good recovery, though?”

“One hundred fifty-two bones, along with some personal effects.” She slid Kelsey’s tea in front of her. “Chamomile. No caffeine.”

“Thanks.”

“We’re analyzing the twine now.”

“I heard.” Kelsey’s brow furrowed. “Bindings?”

“Looks like it.”

“Aaron told me it’s a homicide.”

“Yes.”

“And Nolan Hess is the lead?”

Sara was surprised. “You know him?”

“Just by reputation.” The corner of Kelsey’s mouth ticked up. “Alex’s husband is friends with him. I hear he’s hot.”

Sara pictured Nolan’s strong fingers wrapped around his beer earlier. And the way he’d gazed down at her when he said good night.

“I also hear he’s a bit of a hard-ass, so I’m sure he won’t be happy to see this.” Kelsey took her phone from her purse, tapped in a code, and slid it across the counter.