Steam (Homecoming Hearts #4)(4)

The Grand Resort in western Wyoming was a peaceful little place tucked away near the bottom of Yellowstone Park. It wasn’t really renowned for anything other than being quiet, which was exactly what Ashby was craving. It had a spa for a bit of pampering and beginners’ slopes if he felt like doing something crazy. Other than that, he was going to take a break from everything aside from a few good books.

All he needed was a log fire to read by and a bar that served hot chocolate during the day and drinkable wine in the evenings. No Michelin star restaurants or luxury apartments. Ashby wasn’t going to be sharing a bed, so as long as he had somewhere to sleep at night, he would do just fine.

He sighed and reached down to his carryon to fish out his phone from where he’d stored it. It was on airplane mode, naturally, so the battery had lasted all this time. But Ashby had promised he would do this before they landed and he only had an hour or so to go.

Bracing himself, he unlocked the screen.

Well, the first thing that had to go was the wallpaper photo of him and Gordon hugging on the beach. That had been a long time ago.

Before Gordon had cheated.

Ashby swallowed the lump in his throat and refused to cry again. It was for the best. He’d known for a long time that he and Gordon weren’t happy, that they weren’t right for each other. He just couldn’t believe it was finally over.

He deleted the photo entirely, squeezing his eyes shut as he pressed the little ‘Yes’ square. No point in keeping it in an album. Looking at pictures of when he thought he was happy would only make him feel sad. When the truth was, as that collection of pixels vanished, he remembered how free he was now.

He let out a little laugh, grateful that his neighbor was too engrossed in a film to notice. He’d known for almost a year that he wasn’t really in love with Gordon. They had been together for two years in total, Ashby’s longest relationship to date. But the cheating had given him the courage to finally end it. And here he was, crossing the Atlantic Ocean to mark the start of his new life.

Fuck, he was terrified.

“Um, excuse me,” he said to the flight attendant as she passed.

She turned and beamed at him. “Why, don’t you have the most adorable accent?” she said with a tinkling laugh. “Are you from England?”

Ashby blushed. “Well, I’m from all over really, but my father is English and I live in Chelsea, South West London now.”

“Isn’t that just wonderful?” said the young lady. “Keep talking. I love it.”

Working on a small, local airline, she probably didn’t get nearly as many Brits flying as Americans. She had shiny red hair tied in a neat knot and a smattering of freckles which made her look younger than she probably was. Ashby immediately felt comforted by her winning smile.

“I’ll be happy to say anything you like in return for a gin and tonic,” he said, clasping his hands together. “How about aluminium? Oregano? Or, oh! Caribbean.”

She giggled over his strange pronunciations. “Oh, for that, hon, you can have a double.”

Ashby smiled and tried not to let his melancholy creep back in. “A double sounds marvelous right about now.”

Her returning smile suggested she picked up that he wasn’t quite feeling his best. She winked and lightly tapped his shoulder. “I’ll be right back with your drink. You just sit tight.”

Ashby was being silly. This was for the best. It was what he wanted. He had been the one to put his foot down and end the relationship once and for all. He had forgiven Gordon for many things. But finding those messages on his phone from Dan or Sam or whatever the hell his name had been was the final push Ashby had needed. He was worth more than being messed around on. No matter what his doubts, Ashby had to believe that much.

So he made sure to keep taking deep breaths in and out and he cleared his inbox. He didn’t want to see Gordon’s name anywhere. In fact, Ashby would block him altogether to stop him from continuing his harassment. Gordon didn’t love him. He was just pissed off that Ashby was defying him and walking away.

Every little thing he got rid of made Ashby feel that tiny bit better. He wasn’t used to being alone. Actually, the prospect of being responsible and making decisions for everything by himself sounded god awful. But it was better than being undermined and second-guessed at every turn.

The flight attendant returned with his gin and gave him such a warm smile. It fortified Ashby enough to start the daunting task of deleting his photos. There were so many that gave him pangs. But every time he paused and asked himself if it would be okay to keep just this one, he remained strong. Yes, there were many nice photos of the two of them. But that period in his life was over now.

By the time the wheels touched down in Wyoming, Ashby’s phone was sparse but healthy looking. As far as he could tell, all trace of Gordon was gone. The fact that there was so little left of Ashby’s life on the device showed how much he had allowed his ex-boyfriend to dominate everything before.

That had to change as of now. No more men, at least for the time being. Ashby needed to work out who he really was. What his passions were. What made him happy. It might take him a month, a year or even longer. But he was determined that he was going to start treating himself as whole outside of a couple.

There was nothing quite like that first breath of fresh air after stepping off a plane, whether the flight had been one hour or twenty. He smiled as he inhaled deeply, then turned to his lovely redheaded attendant. “Thank you,” he said, giving her a quick hug. She giggled again.